Sitting in the front row of the auditorium at Quantico, Riley felt terribly ill at ease. She'd faced down countless vicious killers without losing her composure. But right now, she felt on the verge of outright panic.
FBI Director Gavin Milner stood at the podium at the front of the big room. He was speaking of Riley's long career-especially the case that she was being honored for, the cold case of the so-called "Matchbook Killer."
Riley was struck by the distinguished baritone purr of his voice. She'd rarely spoken with Director Milner, but she liked him. He was a slight, dapper little man with a flawlessly neat mustache. Riley thought he looked and sounded more like a dean of some fine arts school than the head of the nation's most elite law enforcement organization.
Riley hadn't been listening to his actual words very well. She was much too nervous and self-conscious as it was. But now that he seemed to be nearing the end of his speech, Riley paid more attention.
Milner said, "We all know of Special Agent Riley Paige's courage, intelligence, and grace under pressure. She's been honored for all these qualities in the past. But we are here today to honor her for something different-her long-term tenacity, her determination not to leave justice undone. Because of her efforts, a killer who claimed three victims twenty-five years ago faces justice at last. We all owe her a debt of gratitude for her service-and for her example."
He smiled, looking straight at her. He picked up the box with the award in it.
That's my cue, Riley thought.
Her legs felt wobbly as she got up from her chair and made her way up onto the stage.
She stepped to the side of the podium and Milner hung the Medal of Perseverance by a ribbon around her neck.
It felt surprisingly heavy.
Strange, Riley thought. The others didn't feel like this.
She'd received three other such awards over the years-the Shield of Bravery, and Medals of Valor and Meritorious Achievement.
But this one felt heavier-and different.
It felt almost wrong somehow.
Riley wasn't sure just why.
FBI Director Gavin Milner patted Riley on the shoulder and chuckled a little.
He said to Riley in a near-whisper…
"Something to add to your collection, eh?"
Riley laughed nervously and shook the director's hand.
The people in the auditorium burst into a round of applause.
Again with a chuckle and in a near-whisper, Director Milner said, "It's time to face your public."
Riley turned around and was rather overcome by what she saw.
There were more people in the auditorium than she'd realized. And every face was familiar-a friend, a family member, a colleague, or someone she'd helped or saved in the line of duty.
They were all on their feet, smiling and clapping.
Riley's throat caught, and tears formed in her eyes.
They all believe in me so much.
She felt grateful and humble-but she also felt a spasm of guilt.
What would these same people think of her if they knew all of her darkest secrets?
They knew nothing about her current relationship with a savage but brilliant killer who had escaped from Sing Sing. They certainly didn't suspect that the criminal had helped her solve several cases. And they couldn't possibly know how hopelessly entwined Riley's own life was with Shane Hatcher's.
Riley almost shuddered at the thought.
No wonder this medal felt heavier than the others.
No, I don't deserve this, Riley thought.
But what was she going to do-turn around and give it back to Director Milner?
Instead, she managed to smile and utter a few words of appreciation. Then she stepped carefully down off the stage.
*
A few moments later, Riley was in a large, crowded room that had been set up with refreshments. It looked like most of the people who had been in the auditorium were here. She was the center of a swirl of activity as everyone took turns congratulating her. She was grateful for the stabilizing presence of Director Milner, who stood right beside her.
In the first wave of well-wishers were colleagues-fellow field agents, specialists, administrators, and office workers.
Most of them were visibly happy for her. For example, Sam Flores, the nerdish head of the Quantico technical analysis team, gave her a silent thumbs-up and a thoroughly sincere smile and moved on.
But Riley also had her share of enemies, and they were here as well. The youngest was Emily Creighton, a fairly inexperienced agent who fancied herself to be Riley's rival. Riley had called her out on a rookie mistake a few months back, and Creighton had resented her ever since.
When it came Creighton's turn to congratulate Riley, the younger agent forced a smile through her clenched teeth, shook her hand, mumbled "Congratulations," and wandered away.
A few more colleagues came and went before Special Agent in Charge Carl Walder stepped toward Riley. Babyish both in appearance and behavior, Walder was Riley's idea of the ultimate bureaucrat. She was always at odds with him, and he with her. In fact, he'd suspended and even fired her on a few occasions.
But right now Riley was amused by his expression of cringing goodwill toward her. With Director Milner standing beside her, Walder didn't dare show anything but feigned respect.
His hand was damp and cold as he shook hers, and she noticed beads of sweat on his forehead.
"A well-deserved honor, Agent Paige," he said in a shaky voice. "We are honored to have you on the force."
Then Walder shook hands with the FBI director.
"So good of you to join us, Director Milner," Walder said.
"My pleasure," Director Milner said.
Riley watched the director's face. Did she notice a slight smirk as he nodded at Walder? She couldn't be sure. But she knew that Walder didn't command a whole lot of respect in the Bureau, neither by his subordinates nor by his superiors.
After the last of her Quantico colleagues congratulated her, the next wave of well-wishers stirred up powerful emotions for Riley. They were people she'd met in the line of duty-family members of murder victims, or people she'd saved from becoming victims. Riley hadn't expected them to be here, especially not so many of them.
The first was a frail, elderly man that she'd rescued from an insane poisoner last January. He took hold of Riley's hand with both of his and tearfully said, "Thank you, thank you, thank you," over and over again.
Riley couldn't help but cry herself.
Then came Lester and Eunice Pennington and their teenaged daughter, Tiffany. In February, Tiffany's older sister, Lois, had been murdered by a sick young man. Riley hadn't seen the Penningtons since she'd solved their case. Riley could hardly believe they were here. She remembered them as distraught and grief-stricken. But they were smiling through their tears, happy for Riley and grateful for the justice she had given them.
As Riley exchanged emotional handclasps with them, she wondered how much more of this she could take without fleeing the room in tears.
Finally came Paula Steen, the elderly mother of a girl who had been killed twenty-five years ago in the case that Riley was being honored for today.
Riley felt truly overwhelmed now.
She and Paula had been in touch for many years now, talking by phone on every anniversary of her daughter's death.
Paula's presence here today took Riley completely off guard.
She clasped Paula's hands, trying not to break down uncontrollably.
"Paula, thank you for coming," she managed to stammer through her tears. "I hope we can still stay in touch."
Paula's smile was radiant, and she wasn't crying at all.
"Oh, I'll keep calling once a year as always, I promise," Paula said. "As long as I'm still in this world, anyway. Now that you've caught Tilda's killer, I feel ready to move on-to join her and my husband. They've been waiting for me for a long time. Thank you so much."
Riley felt a sudden pain deep inside.
Paula was thanking her for the peace she now felt-thanking her for allowing her to die at long last.
It was too much for Riley to process.
She simply couldn't speak.
Instead, she clumsily kissed Paula on the cheek, and the elderly woman walked away.
People were leaving now, and the room was markedly less crowded.
But the ones who most mattered to her were still here. Blaine, Crystal, Jilly, April, and Gabriela had stood nearby watching her this whole time. Riley felt especially good about the look of pride on Gabriela's face.
She also saw that the girls were smiling, while Blaine's expression was one of awed admiration. Riley hoped that this whole ceremony didn't intimidate him or scare him off.
Coming toward her were three people whose faces she was especially happy to see. One was her longtime partner, Bill Jeffreys. Standing right beside him was Lucy Vargas, an eager and promising young agent who looked up to Riley as a mentor. Next to her was Jake Crivaro.
Riley was surprised to see Jake. He'd been her partner years ago and had long since retired. He'd come out of retirement just to help her on the Matchbook Killer case, which had haunted him for years.
"Jake!" Riley said. "What are you doing here?"
The short, barrel-chested man let out a raspy laugh.
"Hey, what kind of welcome is that?"
Riley laughed a little too and hugged him.
"You know what I meant," she said.
After all, Jake had headed back to his apartment in Florida as soon as the case was over. She was glad he was back, even if it was a lot sooner than she'd expected.
"I wouldn't have missed this for the world," Jake said.
Riley felt a renewed wave of guilt as she hugged Bill.
"Bill, Jake-this isn't fair."
"What isn't fair?" Bill asked.
"My getting this award. You two did as much work as I did."
Lucy took her turn to hug Riley.
"Sure, it's fair," Lucy said. "Director Milner mentioned them. He gave them credit too."
Bill nodded and said, "And we wouldn't have done anything at all if you weren't so damned stubborn about reopening the case."
Riley smiled. It was true, of course. She'd reopened the case when nobody else had thought it was possible to solve.
Suddenly she felt a new wave of confusion over what had just happened.
She looked around and said to Bill, Jake, and Lucy, "All these people-how did they know about this?"
Lucy said, "Well, it was in the news, of course."
That was true, but it didn't explain things as far as Riley was concerned. Her award had been announced in tiny news items that scarcely anyone would have noticed unless they were looking for it already.
Then Riley noticed a sly grin on Bill's face.
He contacted people! Riley realized.
He may not have reached out to every single person from her past, but he'd put the wheels in motion.
She was startled by the contradictory emotions she felt.
Of course she was grateful to Bill for making sure that this day was nothing short of extraordinary.
But to her surprise, she was angry too.
Without seeming to realize it, Bill had set an emotional ambush for her.
Worst of all, he had made her cry.
But she reminded herself that he'd done it out of friendship and respect.
She said to him, "You and I are going to have a little talk about this later."
Bill smiled and nodded.
"I'm sure we will," he said.
Riley turned toward her waiting family and friends, but she was stopped in her tracks by her boss, Team Chief Brent Meredith. The big man with black, angular features didn't appear to be in a celebratory mood.
He said, "Paige, Jeffreys, Vargas-I need to see you in my office right away."
Without another word, Meredith walked out of the room.
Riley's heart sank as she headed over to Blaine, Gabriela, and the girls to tell them to wait a little while for her.
She remembered that lurking sense of darkness she had felt over dinner yesterday.
It's here, she thought.
Some new evil was about to enter her life.
