As she drove Jilly, April, and Gabriela home, Riley couldn't bring herself to tell them she was heading out right away. She was going to miss Jilly's very first major event, a starring role in a play. Would the girls be able to understand that she was under orders?
Even after they all got home, Riley couldn't tell them.
She burned inside with shame.
Today she'd earned a medal for perseverance, and in the past she'd been honored for valor and bravery. And of course, her daughters had been in the audience watching her receive her medal.
But she sure didn't feel like much of a hero.
The girls headed outside to play in the backyard, and Riley went up to her bedroom and started packing her things. It was a familiar routine. The trick was to pack a small bag with enough necessities to last for a couple of days or a month.
While she was laying things out on her bed, she heard Gabriela's voice.
"Se?ora Riley-what are you doing?"
Riley turned and saw Gabriela standing in the doorway. The housekeeper was holding a stack of clean linen that she was about to put in the hall closet.
Riley stammered, "Gabriela, I've-I've got to go."
Gabriela's mouth dropped open.
"Go? Where?"
"I've been assigned to a new case. In California."
"Can't you go tomorrow?" Gabriela asked.
Riley swallowed hard.
"Gabriela, the FBI plane is waiting right now. I've got to go."
Gabriela shook her head.
She said, "It is good to fight evil, Se?ora Riley. But sometimes I think you lose sight of what's good."
Gabriela disappeared into the hallway.
Riley sighed. Since when did Riley pay Gabriela to be her conscience?
But she couldn't complain. It was a job that Gabriela was getting to be all too good at.
Riley stood staring at her unfinished packing.
She shook her head and whispered to herself…
"I can't do this to Jilly. I just can't."
All of her life she had sacrificed her kids for work things. Every time. Not once had she put her kids first.
And that, she realized, was what was wrong with her life. That was a part of her darkness.
She was brave enough to face down a serial killer. But was she brave enough to put work on the back burner and make her kids' lives her number one priority?
At this very moment, Bill and Lucy were getting ready to fly out to California.
They were expecting to meet her at the Quantico airstrip.
Riley sighed miserably.
There was only one way to solve this problem-if she could solve it at all.
She had to try.
She took out her cell phone and dialed Meredith's private number.
At the sound of his gruff voice, she said, "Sir, this is Agent Paige."
"What's the matter?" Meredith asked.
There was a note of concern in his voice. Riley understood why. She had never used this number except in dire circumstances.
She gathered up her nerve and came right to the point.
"Sir, I would like to delay my trip to California. Just for tonight. Agents Jeffreys and Vargas can go ahead of me."
After a pause, Meredith asked, "What's your emergency?"
Riley gulped. Meredith wasn't going to make this easy.
But she was determined not to lie.
In a shaky voice she stammered, "My younger daughter, Jilly-she's in a school play tonight. She's-she's playing the lead."
The silence that fell was deafening.
Did he just hang up on me? Riley wondered.
Then with a growl Meredith said, "Would you repeat that, please? I'm not sure I heard you correctly."
Riley stifled a sigh. She was sure that he'd heard her perfectly well.
"Sir, this play is important to her," she said, growing more nervous by the second. "Jilly's-well, you know I'm trying to adopt her. She's had a hard life, and she's coming out of a very difficult time and her feelings are very delicate and…"
Riley's voice faded off.
"And what?" Meredith asked.
Riley swallowed hard.
"I can't disappoint her, sir. Not this once. Not today."
Another grim silence fell.
Riley was starting to feel more determined.
"Sir, it won't make any difference in the case," she said. "Agents Jeffreys and Vargas will go ahead of me, and you know how capable they are. They can get me up to speed when I do get out there."
"And when would that be?" Meredith asked.
"Tomorrow morning. Early. I'll head for the airport as soon as the play's over. I'll take the first flight I can get."
After another pause, Riley added, "I'll go on my own dime."
She heard Meredith grunt a little.
"You certainly will, Agent Paige," he said.
Riley gasped and caught her breath.
He's giving me permission!
She suddenly realized that she'd barely been breathing during the conversation.
It took a lot of effort not to burst out into uncontrolled gales of gratitude.
She knew Meredith wouldn't like that at all. And the last thing she wanted was for him to change his mind.
So she simply said, "Thank you."
She heard another grunt.
Then Meredith said, "Tell your daughter to break a leg."
He ended the call.
Riley breathed a sigh of relief, then glanced up and saw that Gabriela was standing in the doorway again, smiling.
She'd obviously been listening to the whole call.
"I think you are growing up, Se?ora Riley," Gabriela said.
*
Sitting in the audience with April and Gabriela, Riley was thoroughly enjoying the school play. She'd forgotten how charming events like this could be.
The middle-school kids were all dressed in makeshift costumes. They had painted flat scenery to look like scenes from the story of Demeter and Persephone-fields full of flowers, a volcano in Sicily, the dank caverns of the Underworld, and other mythical places.
And Jilly's acting was simply wonderful!
She played Persephone, the young daughter of grain goddess Demeter. Riley found herself remembering the familiar story as it unfolded.
Persephone was outside picking flowers one day when Hades, the god of the Underworld, rode by in his chariot and snatched her away. He took her down into the Underworld to be his queen. When Demeter realized what had happened to her daughter, she wailed with sorrow.
Riley felt chills at how convincingly the girl playing Demeter expressed her grief.
At that point, the story started getting to Riley in a way she hadn't expected.
Persephone's story seemed eerily like Jilly's own. After all, it was the story of a girl who lost part of her childhood to forces much greater than herself.
Riley felt herself tearing up.
She knew the rest of the story very well. Persephone would regain her freedom, but only for half of every year. Whenever Persephone was gone, Demeter let the earth grow cold and dead. Whenever she came back, she brought the earth back to life, and springtime came again.
And that was how seasons had come into the world.
Riley squeezed April's hand and whispered, "Here comes the sad part."
Riley was surprised to hear April giggle.
"Not so sad," April whispered back. "Jilly told me they changed the story a little. Just watch."
Riley sat and paid close attention.
Fully in character as Persephone, Jilly cracked Hades over the head with a Grecian urn-actually a pillow in disguise. Then she stormed out of the Underworld and back to her overjoyed mother.
The boy playing Hades threw an enormous tantrum and brought winter to the world. He and Demeter then fought a tug-of-war, changing the seasons from winter to spring and back again, and so on again and again for the rest of time.
Riley was delighted.
When the play ended, Riley led the way backstage to congratulate Jilly. On their way, she ran into the teacher who had directed the play.
"I love what you did with the story!" Riley told the teacher. "It was so refreshing to see Persephone turned from a helpless victim to an independent heroine."
The teacher smiled broadly.
"Don't thank me," she said. "It was Jilly's idea."
Riley rushed over to Jilly and gave her a big hug.
"I'm so proud of you!" Riley said.
"Thanks, Mom," Jilly said, smiling happily.
Mom.
The word echoed through Riley. It meant more to her than she could say.
*
Later that night when they were all at home, Riley finally had to tell the girls she was leaving. She poked her head in Jilly's door.
Jilly was fast asleep, exhausted from her great success. Riley loved the look of contentment on her face.
Then Riley went to April's bedroom and looked in on her. April was sitting up in bed reading a book.
April looked up at her mother.
"Hey, Mom," she said. "What's up?"
Riley stepped quietly into the room.
She said, "This is going to seem weird but…I've got to leave right now. I've been assigned to a case in California."
April smiled.
She said, "Jilly and I both pretty much guessed that was what your meeting back in Quantico was all about. And then we saw that go-bag on your bed. We actually thought you were going to leave before her play. You usually don't pack it unless you're out the door."
She stared at Riley, her smile widening.
"But then you stayed," she added. "I know you delayed the trip, at least for the play. Do you know how much that meant to us?"
Riley felt herself tear up. She leaned forward and the two of them embraced.
"So it's OK if I go, then?" Riley asked.
"Sure, it's OK. Jilly told me she hoped you'd catch some bad guys. She's really proud of what you do, Mom. So am I."
Riley felt moved beyond words. Both of her daughters were growing up so fast. And they were becoming really amazing young women.
She kissed April on the forehead.
"I love you, dear," she said.
"I love you too," April said.
Riley wagged her finger at April.
"Now what are you doing up?" she said. "Turn off that light and go to sleep. It's a school night."
April giggled and turned off the light. Riley went to her own bedroom to get her bag.
It was after midnight and she had to drive to DC in time for a commercial flight.
It was going to be a long night.
