登陆注册
10485800000001

第1章 WITHOUT REGRETS

The day before the disaster, Iris Carr had her first premonition of danger. She was used to the protection of a crowd, whom-with unconscious flattery-she called "her friends." An attractive orphan of independent means, she had been surrounded always with clumps of people. They thought for her-or rather, she accepted their opinions, and they shouted for her-since her voice was rather too low in register, for mass social intercourse.

Their constant presence tended to create the illusion that she moved in a large circle, in spite of the fact that the same faces recurred with seasonal regularity. They also made her pleasantly aware of popularity. Her photograph appeared in the pictorial papers through the medium of a photographer's offer of publicity, after the Press announcement of her engagement to one of the crowd.

This was Fame.

Then, shortly afterwards, her engagement was broken, by mutual consent-which was a lawful occasion for the reproduction of another portrait. More Fame. And her mother, who died at her birth, might have wept or smiled at these pitiful flickers of human vanity, arising, like bubbles of marsh-gas, on the darkness below.

When she experienced her first threat of insecurity, Iris was feeling especially well and happy after an unconventional health-holiday. With the triumph of near-pioneers, the crowd had swooped down on a beautiful village of picturesque squalor, tucked away in a remote corner of Europe, and taken possession of it by the act of scrawling their names in the visitors' book.

For nearly a month they had invaded the only hotel, to the delighted demoralisation of the innkeeper and his staff. They scrambled up mountains, swam in the lake, and sunbathed on every available slope. When they were indoors, they filled the bar, shouted against the wireless, and tipped for each trifling service. The proprietor beamed at them over his choked cash-register, and the smiling waiters gave them preferential treatment, to the legitimate annoyance of the other English guests.

To these six persons, Iris appeared just one of her crowd, and a typical semi-Society girl-vain, selfish, and useless. Naturally, they had no knowledge of redeeming points-a generosity which made her accept the bill, as a matter of course, when she lunched with her "friends," and a real compassion for such cases of hardship which were clamped down under her eyes.

But while she was only vaguely conscious of fugitive moments of discontent and self-contempt, she was aware of a fastidious streak, which kept her aloof from any tendency to saturnalia. On this holiday she heard Pan's pipes, but had no experience of the kick of his hairy hind quarters.

Soon the slack convention of the crowd had been relaxed. They grew brown, they drank and were merry, while matrimonial boundaries became pleasantly blurred. Surrounded by a mixed bag of vague married couples, it was a sharp shock to Iris when one of the women-Olga-suddenly developed a belated sense of property, and accused her of stealing a husband.

Besides the unpleasantness of the scene, her sense of justice was outraged. She had merely tolerated a neglected male, who seemed a spare part in the dislocated domestic machine. It was not her fault that he had lost his head.

To make matters worse, at this crisis, she failed to notice any signs of real loyalty among her friends, who had plainly enjoyed the excitement. Therefore, to ease the tension, she decided not to travel back to England with the party, but to stay on for two days longer, alone.

She was still feeling sore, on the following day, when she accompanied the crowd to the little primitive railway station. They had already reacted to the prospect of a return to civilisation. They wore fashionable clothes again, and were roughly sorted into legitimate couples, as a natural sequence to the identification of suitcases and reservations.

The train was going to Trieste, which was definitely on the map. It was packed with tourists, who were also going back to pavements and lamp-posts. Forgetful of hillside and starlight, the crowd responded to the general noise and bustle. It seemed to recapture its old loyalty as it clustered round Iris.

"Sure you won't be bored, darling?"

"Change your mind and hop on."

"You've simply got to come."

As the whistle was blown, they tried to pull her into their carriage-just as she was, in shorts and nailed boots, and with a brown glaze of sunburn on her unpowdered face. She fought like a boxing-kangaroo to break free, and only succeeded in jumping down as the platform was beginning to slide past the window.

Laughing and panting from the struggle, she stood and waved after the receding train, until it disappeared round the bend of the gorge.

She felt almost guilty as she realised her relief at parting from her friends. But, although the holiday had been a success, she had drawn her pleasure chiefly from primeval sources-sun, water, and mountain-breeze. Steeped in Nature, she had vaguely resented the human intrusion.

They had all been together too closely and too intimately. At times, she had been conscious of jarring notes-a woman's high thin laugh-the tubby outline of a man's body, poised to dive-a continual flippant appeal to "My God."

It was true that while she had grown critical of her friends she had floated with the current. Like the others, she had raved of marvellous scenery, while she accepted it as a matter of course. It was a natural sequence that, when one travelled off the map, the landscape improved automatically as the standard of sanitation lapsed.

At last she was alone with the mountains and the silence. Below her lay a grass-green lake, sparkling with diamond reflections of the sun. The snowy peaks of distant ranges were silhouetted against a cornflower-blue sky. On a hill rose the dark pile of an ancient castle, with its five turrets pointing upwards, like the outspread fingers of a sinister hand.

Everywhere was a riot of colour. The station garden foamed with exotic flowers-flame and yellow-rising from spiked foliage. Higher up the slope, the small wooden hotel was painted ochre and crimson lake. Against the green wall of the gorge rose the last coil of smoke, like floating white feathers.

When it had faded away, Iris felt that the last link had been severed between her and the crowd. Blowing a derisive kiss, she turned away and clattered down the steep stony path. When she reached the glacier-fed river, she lingered on the bridge, to feel the iced air which arose from the greenish-white boil.

As she thought of yesterday's scene, she vowed that she never wanted to see the crowd again. They were connected with an episode which violated her idea of friendship. She had been a little fond of the woman, Olga, who had repaid her loyalty by a crude exhibition of jealousy.

She shrugged away the memory. Here, under the limitless blue, people seemed so small-their passions so paltry. They were merely incidental to the passage from the cradle to the grave. One met them and parted from them, without regrets.

Every minute the gap between her and them was widening. They were steaming away, out of her life. At the thought, she thrilled with a sense of new freedom, as though her spirit were liberated by the silence and solitude.

Yet, before many hours had passed, she would have bartered all the glories of Nature to have called them back again.

热门推荐
  • 小子大任

    小子大任

    一场地陷灾难,一个爱哭少年:天降混沌灵力,铲除邪恶心愿:拯救深坑百姓,夺回曾经家园。修道还得多读书,才成为智勇双全小神仙。
  • 王俊凯之我们说好不分离

    王俊凯之我们说好不分离

    【全书免费】他俩是青梅竹马,还定着婚。因为两家的世交被送到了一个别墅中,那时两人已经上了高中。因为两人对彼此没有好感,都打算等到18岁之后解除婚约,可不知道为什么,王俊凯竟然慢慢的喜欢上了她,而她也知道自己喜欢上了王俊凯。接着,她却出了意外。。。。
  • 变革力:铸就IBM百年传奇

    变革力:铸就IBM百年传奇

    《变革力:铸就IBM的百年传奇》的作者通过对IBM 100年的历史回顾,首度剖析了企业如何在竞争如此激烈的环境下做强、做大、做久的八大核心变革。
  • 无处不在的化学(人生解密)

    无处不在的化学(人生解密)

    科学早已渗入我们的日常生活,并无时无刻不在影响和改变着我们的生活。无论是仰望星空、俯视脚下的大地,还是近观我们周遭咫尺器物,处处都可以发现科学原理蕴于其中。本书为你的生活添一丝色彩。
  • 源梦者

    源梦者

    梦境中成长,几人能够清醒?梦境的背后是真实,还是另一个梦境?梦中源梦似出路幻里如幻真归途
  • 让感觉跟着跑

    让感觉跟着跑

    一杯清茶,一缕光线,一本好书……轻轻抚慰,阅读是一种生命的享受。智慧、美丽、梦幻、快乐……慢慢品味,人生永远在书香里跳跃。
  • 寒温篇

    寒温篇

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 枷锁里舞蹈

    枷锁里舞蹈

    春节过后我们相约去了新加坡旅游,这一次旅游可给我带来无尽的麻烦了。这个美人闹出了天大的痴情伤魂落魄的笑话了。
  • 鸿蒙神帝

    鸿蒙神帝

    孙羽原本是一个乡村少年,偶然之间获得秘宝,打开修炼者的大门。随后,他却做了一个无比真实的噩梦,可怕的是那噩梦后来竟然实现……随着一个又一个的梦境,孙羽的身世也变得扑朔迷离……升级体系:灵元境、武元境、地元境、天元境、宗元境、尊元境、王元境、皇元境、帝元境。
  • 旧人还

    旧人还

    汽笛声已经响起,窗外那对情侣依然难舍难分,也不知那姑娘说了什么,带着金丝框眼镜的儒雅男人嘴角弯成好看的弧度,亲了亲姑娘的额头,转身上了火车。眼见姑娘满眼不舍,商灵觉得有趣,便托着下巴靠在窗边看个够。也真是巧,那男人就坐她对面,见着商灵,礼貌地点了下头,温文尔雅。坐下后,又扭头看向窗外。火车徐徐开动,略过蓝色站牌。顺着男人的视线看去,站台上的姑娘跟着火车慢慢跑了起来。商灵看看这个,又看看那个,心里又酸又甜,她想起了她的长腿哥哥,那个动不动就爬上梅子树给她摘梅子的哥哥。