登陆注册
4606300000167

第167章

I obeyed respectfully, and in less than one hour I had taken possession of my new quarters. Madame F---- told me how delighted she was to see that great affair ended according to her wishes, and I

answered with a deep reverence.

I found myself like the salamander, in the very heart of the fire for which I had been longing so ardently.

Almost constantly in the presence of Madame F----, dining often alone with her, accompanying her in her walks, even when M. D---- R-----

was not with us, seeing her from my room, or conversing with her in her chamber, always reserved and attentive without pretension, the first night passed by without any change being brought about by that constant intercourse. Yet I was full of hope, and to keep up my courage I imagined that love was not yet powerful enough to conquer her pride. I expected everything from some lucky chance, which I

promised myself to improve as soon as it should present itself, for I

was persuaded that a lover is lost if he does not catch fortune by the forelock.

But there was one circumstance which annoyed me. In public, she seized every opportunity of treating me with distinction, while, when we were alone, it was exactly the reverse. In the eyes of the world I had all the appearance of a happy lover, but I would rather have had less of the appearance of happiness and more of the reality. My love for her was disinterested; vanity had no share in my feelings.

One day, being alone with me, she said, "You have enemies, but I silenced them last night."

"They are envious, madam, and they would pity me if they could read the secret pages of my heart. You could easily deliver me from those enemies."

"How can you be an object of pity for them, and how could I deliver you from them?"

"They believe me happy, and I am miserable; you would deliver me from them by ill-treating me in their presence."

"Then you would feel my bad treatment less than the envy of the wicked?"

"Yes, madam, provided your bad treatment in public were compensated by your kindness when we are alone, for there is no vanity in the happiness I feel in belonging to you. Let others pity me, I will be happy on condition that others are mistaken."

"That's a part that I can never play."

I would often be indiscreet enough to remain behind the curtain of the window in my room, looking at her when she thought herself perfectly certain that nobody saw her; but the liberty I was thus guilty of never proved of great advantage to me. Whether it was because she doubted my discretion or from habitual reserve, she was so particular that, even when I saw her in bed, my longing eyes never could obtain a sight of anything but her head.

One day, being present in her room while her maid was cutting off the points of her long and beautiful hair, I amused myself in picking up all those pretty bits, and put them all, one after the other, on her toilettable, with the exception of one small lock which I slipped into my pocket, thinking that she had not taken any notice of my keeping it; but the moment we were alone she told me quietly, but rather too seriously, to take out of my pocket the hair I had picked up from the floor. Thinking she was going too far, and such rigour appearing to me as cruel as it was unjust and absurd, I obeyed, but threw the hair on the toilet-table with an air of supreme contempt.

"Sir, you forget yourself."

"No, madam, I do not, for you might have feigned not to have observed such an innocent theft."

"Feigning is tiresome."

"Was such petty larceny a very great crime?"

"No crime, but it was an indication of feelings which you have no right to entertain for me."

"Feelings which you are at liberty not to return, madam, but which hatred or pride can alone forbid my heart to experience. If you had a heart you would not be the victim of either of those two fearful passions, but you have only head, and it must be a very wicked head, judging by the care it takes to heap humiliation upon me. You have surprised my secret, madam, you may use it as you think proper, but in the meantime I have learned to know you thoroughly. That knowledge will prove more useful than your discovery, for perhaps it will help me to become wiser."

After this violent tirade I left her, and as she did not call me back retired to my room. In the hope that sleep would bring calm, I

undressed and went to bed. In such moments a lover hates the object of his love, and his heart distils only contempt and hatred. I could not go to sleep, and when I was sent for at supper-time I answered that I was ill. The night passed off without my eyes being visited by sleep, and feeling weak and low I thought I would wait to see what ailed me, and refused to have my dinner, sending word that I was still very unwell. Towards evening I felt my heart leap for joy when I heard my beautiful lady-love enter my room. Anxiety, want of food and sleep, gave me truly the appearance of being ill, and I was delighted that it should be so. I sent her away very soon, by telling her with perfect indifference that it was nothing but a bad headache, to which I was subject, and that repose and diet would effect a speedy cure.

But at eleven o'clock she came back with her friend, M. D---- R-----, and coming to my bed she said, affectionately, "What ails you, my poor Casanova?"

"A very bad headache, madam, which will be cured to-morrow."

"Why should you wait until to-morrow? You must get better at once.

I have ordered a basin of broth and two new-laid eggs for you."

"Nothing, madam; complete abstinence can alone cure me."

"He is right," said M. D---- R-----, "I know those attacks."

I shook my head slightly. M. D---- R----- having just then turned round to examine an engraving, she took my hand, saying that she would like me to drink some broth, and I felt that she was giving me a small parcel. She went to look at the engraving with M. D----

R-----.

I opened the parcel, but feeling that it contained hair, I hurriedly concealed it under the bed-clothes: at the same moment the blood rushed to my head with such violence that it actually frightened me.

同类推荐
  • 经幄管见

    经幄管见

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • A Fragment on Government

    A Fragment on Government

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 太上玄灵北斗本命延生经注

    太上玄灵北斗本命延生经注

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 华严经骨目

    华严经骨目

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 道诗精华录

    道诗精华录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 今天大佬和我结婚了

    今天大佬和我结婚了

    傅止言这男人卖相好、智商高,唯一的缺点大概是外界盛传他不举。第一次见面,韩小野就用番茄酱当血浆,堂堂总裁救助不成反被......她花了一年,她死皮赖脸缠着他,好不容易追上了高冷男人。万万没想到,一夜之间,未来老公成了……“为什么要跑?”她推开他,痞气吹了声口哨。下一秒,她屁股被揍开了花。
  • 殿下,君四爷来了!!

    殿下,君四爷来了!!

    身为血族三亲王的萧钰被一个人类害死了(当然,最主要的是她本身的懦弱),重生之十六岁时,女扮男装,步步为营。但,谁告诉她,这个君四爷是神马情况!!!!!!
  • N021

    N021

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 名剑之死(二)

    名剑之死(二)

    前面就是通往家中的路,中午的阳光刺眼地打在灰白路面上。家门就在眼前,艾小梅三步并作两步闯进去,无论是前院还是后院,所有地方都寂静无声,只有慢慢咀嚼草料的骡子,和自然盛开的花朵在空中摇曳,艾小梅习惯性四处张望了一下,她什么也没看到,所有的摆设都如离开时摆放妥当。艾小梅打开衣柜准备换衣服,下意识地看了柜底一眼:那是她放捡来的烧焦残肢的地方。它不在那里。
  • 看清看透不看破

    看清看透不看破

    在生活中,对待一些事情太过于较真,无异于庸人自扰。常言说:退一步海阔天空。只有看清看透却不看破地做人,才是解放心灵的哲学之道;在生活甲,投机取巧得不偿失;锋芒太露容易招人嫉恨。唯有舍小利时便舍得,该不争时便不争,才能做人有人缘,做事有机缘,“糊里糊涂” 地笑到最后。
  • 用爱心拥抱世界的盲聋女作家:海伦·凯勒

    用爱心拥抱世界的盲聋女作家:海伦·凯勒

    本书是人物传记故事,生动地记述了美国女作家、演讲家、教育家、社会活动家海伦·凯勒坎坷的一生。海伦出生后19个月就丧失了视力和听力。然而,在80多年无光、无声的孤独岁月中,她却靠着一颗不屈不挠的心,以惊人的毅力去面对困难,终于用自己的努力,创造了生命的奇迹。她毕业于哈佛大学拉德克利夫学院,并用生命的全部力量投身各种社会活动,经常四处演讲,奔走于世界各地,致力于残疾人事业。她还克服千难万苦,出版了我的一生中流等14部著作,为残疾人找到了一条通往光明的道路,为人们留下了千古传颂的生命之歌。
  • 决定一生的10堂情商课

    决定一生的10堂情商课

    积极向上的心态能改变一个人的一生,决定未来的不仅仅是才能和技巧,更重要是心态。心态好,人生更美好。心态是决定命运的真正主人,它能够从里到外影响一个人一生的命运。积极的心态让人能够积极进取,创造成功;消极的心态却让人消极悲观,永远没有成功的机会。
  • 人类往事之猩球大战

    人类往事之猩球大战

    一场诡异的太空灾难使主角萧羽智等同胞穿越到了一个异星球:古星。古星是个猿统治人的世界,人类的尊严和生命被猿族无情践踏,人类面临灭种的危机。为避免猿族将来为祸地球,萧羽智等人率领本地人类对猿族帝国展开坚决反击,并逐步赢得胜利。可萧羽智不知道的是,古星的战争不过是开始,人类和猿族的战争将会成为波及整个银河的种族存亡大战。文明与野蛮的较量,开始!
  • 寓简

    寓简

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 雨过山村

    雨过山村

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。