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第69章 FORWARD, MOLLUSKS!(1)

The next day, Wednesday, Monsieur Rabourdin was to transact business with the minister, for he had filled the late La Billardiere's place since the beginning of the latter's illness. On such days the clerks came punctually, the servants were specially attentive, there was always a certain excitement in the offices on these signing-days,--and why, nobody ever knew. On this occasion the three servants were at their post, flattering themselves they should get a few fees; for a rumor of Rabourdin's nomination had spread through the ministry the night before, thanks to Dutocq. Uncle Antoine and Laurent had donned their full uniform, when, at a quarter to eight, des Lupeaulx's servant came in with a letter, which he begged Antoine to give secretly to Dutocq, saying that the general-secretary had ordered him to deliver it without fail at Monsieur Dutocq's house by seven o'clock.

"I'm sure I don't know how it happened," he said, "but I overslept myself. I've only just waked up, and he'd play the devil's tattoo on me if he knew the letter hadn't gone. I know a famous secret, Antoine;but don't say anything about it to the clerks if I tell you; promise?

He would send me off if he knew I had said a single word; he told me so.""What's inside the letter?" asked Antoine, eying it.

"Nothing; I looked this way--see."

He made the letter gape open, and showed Antoine that there was nothing but blank paper to be seen.

"This is going to be a great day for you, Laurent," went on the secretary's man. "You are to have a new director. Economy must be the order of the day, for they are going to unite the two divisions under one director--you fellows will have to look out!""Yes, nine clerks are put on the retired list," said Dutocq, who came in at the moment; "how did you hear that?"Antoine gave him the letter, and he had no sooner opened it than he rushed headlong downstairs in the direction of the secretary's office.

The bureaus Rabourdin and Baudoyer, after idling and gossiping since the death of Monsieur de la Billardiere, were now recovering their usual official look and the dolce far niente habits of a government office. Nevertheless, the approaching end of the year did cause rather more application among the clerks, just as porters and servants become at that season more unctuously civil. They all came punctually, for one thing; more remained after four o'clock than was usual at other times. It was not forgotten that fees and gratuities depend on the last impressions made upon the minds of masters. The news of the union of the two divisions, that of La Billardiere and that of Clergeot, under one director, had spread through the various offices. The number of the clerks to be retired was known, but all were in ignorance of the names. It was taken for granted that Poiret would not be replaced, and that would be a retrenchment. Little La Billardiere had already departed. Two new supernumeraries had made their appearance, and, alarming circumstance! they were both sons of deputies. The news told about in the offices the night before, just as the clerks were dispersing, agitated all minds, and for the first half-hour after arrival in the morning they stood around the stoves and talked it over. But earlier than that, Dutocq, as we have seen, had rushed to des Lupeaulx on receiving his note, and found him dressing. Without laying down his razor, the general-secretary cast upon his subordinate the glance of a general issuing an order.

"Are we alone?" he asked.

"Yes, monsieur."

"Very good. March on Rabourdin; forward! steady! Of course you kept a copy of that paper?""Yes."

"You understand me? Inde iroe! There must be a general hue and cry raised against him. Find some way to start a clamor--""I could get a man to make a caricature, but I haven't five hundred francs to pay for it.""Who would make it?"

"Bixou."

"He shall have a thousand and be under-head-clerk to Colleville, who will arrange with them; tell him so.""But he wouldn't believe it on nothing more than my word.""Are you trying to make me compromise myself? Either do the thing or let it alone; do you hear me?""If Monsieur Baudoyer were director--"

"Well, he will be. Go now, and make haste; you have no time to lose.

Go down the back-stairs; I don't want people to know you have just seen me."While Dutocq was returning to the clerks' office and asking himself how he could best incite a clamor against his chief without compromising himself, Bixiou rushed to the Rabourdin office for a word of greeting. Believing that he had lost his bet the incorrigible joker thought it amusing to pretend that he had won it.

Bixiou [mimicking Phellion's voice]. "Gentlemen, I salute you with a collective how d'ye do, and I appoint Sunday next for the dinner at the Rocher de Cancale. But a serious question presents itself. Is that dinner to include the clerks who are dismissed?"Poiret. "And those who retire?"

Bixiou. "Not that I care, for it isn't I who pay." [General stupefaction.] "Baudoyer is appointed. I think I already hear him calling Laurent" [mimicking Baudoyer], "Laurent! lock up my hair-shirt, and my scourge." [They all roar with laughter.] "Yes, yes, he laughs well who laughs last. Gentlemen, there's a great deal in that anagram of Colleville's. 'Xavier Rabourdin, chef de bureau--D'abord reva bureaux, e-u fin riche.' If I were named 'Charles X., par la grace de Dieu roi de France et de Navarre,' I should tremble in my shoes at the fate those letters anagrammatize."Thuillier. "Look here! are you making fun?"

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