登陆注册
4617600000056

第56章

I've thought and suffered until my reason seemed going. You don't realize, you don't know the depths into which I've fallen. It can't be right."Holcroft was almost appalled at this passionate outburst in one who thus far had been sad, indeed, yet self-controlled. He looked at her in mingled pity and consternation. His own troubles had seemed heavy enough, but he now caught glimpses of something far beyond trouble--of agony, of mortal dread that bordered on despair. He could scarcely comprehend how terrible to a woman like Alida were the recent events of her life, and how circumstances, with illness, had all tended to create a morbid horror of her situation. Like himself she was naturally reticent in regard to her deeper feelings, patient and undemonstrative. Had not his words evoked this outburst she might have suffered and died in silence, but in this final conflict between conscience and hope, the hot lava of her heart had broken forth. So little was he then able to understand her, that suspicions crossed his mind. Perhaps his friend Watterly had not heard the true story or else not the whole story. But his straightforward simplicity stood him in good stead, and he said gently, "Alida, you say I don't know, I don't realize. I believe you will tell me the truth. You went to a minister and were married to a man that you thought you had a right to marry--""You shall know it all from my own lips," she said, interrupting him; "you have a right to know; and then you will see that it cannot be," and with bowed head, and low, rapid, passionate utterance, she poured out her story. "That woman, his wife," she concluded, "made me feel that I was of the scum and offscouring of the earth, and they've made me feel so here, too--even these wretched paupers. So the world will look on me till God takes me to my mother. O, thank God! She don't know. Don' you see, now?" she asked, raising her despairing eyes from which agony had dried all tears.

"Yes, I see you do," she added desperately, "for even you have turned from me.""Confound it!" cried Holcroft, standing up and searching his pockets for a handkerchief. "I--I--I'd like--like to choke that fellow. If I could get my hands on him, there'd be trouble. Turn away from you, you poor wronged creature! Don't you see I'm so sorry for you that I'm making a fool of myself? I, who couldn't shed a tear over my own troubles--there, there,--come now, let us be sensible. Let's get back to business, for I can't stand this kind of thing at all. I'm so confused betwixt rage at him and pity for you--Let me see; this is where we were: I want someone to take care of my home, and you want a home. That's all there is about it now. If you say so, I'll make you Mrs. Holcroft in an hour.""I did not mean to work upon your sympathies, only to tell you the truth. God bless you! That the impulses of your heart are so kind and merciful. But let me be true to you as well as to myself. Go away and think it all over calmly and quietly. Even for the sake of being rescued from a life that I dread far more than death, I cannot let you do that which you may regret unspeakably.

Do not think I misunderstand your offer. It's the only one I could think of, and I would not have thought of it if you had not spoke. I have no heart to give. I could be a wife only in name, but I could work like a slave for protection from a cruel, jeering world; I could hope for something like peace and respite from suffering if I only had a safe refuge. But I must not have these if it is not right and best. Good to me must not come through wrong to you.""Tush, tush! You mustn't talk so. I can't stand it at all. I've heard your story. It's just as I supposed at first, only a great deal more so. Why, of course it's all right. It makes me believe in Providence, it all turns out so entirely for our mutual good. I can do as much to help you as you to help me.

Now let's get back on the sensible, solid ground from which we started. The idea of my wanting you to work like a slave! Like enough some people would, and then you'd soon break down and be brought back here again. No, no; I've explained just what I wish and just what I mean. You must get over the notion that I'm a sentimental fool, carried away by my feelings. How Tom Watterly would laugh at the idea! My mind is made up now just as much as it would be a week hence. This is no place for you, and I don't like to think of your being here. My spring work is pressing, too. Don't you see that by doing what Iask you can set me right on my feet and start me uphill again after a year of miserable downhill work? You have only to agree to what I've said, and you will be at home tonight and I'll be quietly at my work tomorrow. Mr. Watterly will go with us to the justice, who has known me all my life. Then, if anyone ever says a word against you, he'll have me to settle with. Come, Alida!

Here's a strong hand that's able to take care of you."She hesitated a moment, then clasped it like one who is sinking, and before he divined her purpose, she kissed and bedewed it with tears.

同类推荐
  • 玉景九天金霄威神王祝太元上经

    玉景九天金霄威神王祝太元上经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • The Lily of the Valley

    The Lily of the Valley

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 文始经言外旨

    文始经言外旨

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 牧云和尚懒斋别集

    牧云和尚懒斋别集

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 石田诗选

    石田诗选

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 明智·留一个角落安放信仰

    明智·留一个角落安放信仰

    我们所认识的世界,所熟习的人,真的就是的确如此吗?有没有一颗时刻澄明的心能够去随时随地看透任何一个流转不息的人和瞬息万变的世界呢?当这样追问自己的心灵时,就会发现执著于自己一时一地、一人一物的幻象是多么可笑的事情。认识的主体在迁流变化,认识的客体也同样在迁流变化;我是有限的我,你也并非全知全能的你,那么为何那么确实地相信这个虚妄的、流动的自我呢?
  • 合法夫妻

    合法夫妻

    当苏九再次回到十八岁,她只想远离苏家。穷并不可怕,但若是识人不清,那可真要误终身的大事。她本想安安静静的读书赚钱,根本没想过要谈个什么恋爱。但无奈,桃花却一朵接着一朵的往她怀里撞。许一岷:“谈恋爱吗?”苏九:“我是你侄儿的前女友。”许一岷:“无妨。”苏九:“我性冷淡。”许一岷:“我的女人不需要主动。”苏九:“……”
  • Heart of the West

    Heart of the West

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 逃杀之末日迷城

    逃杀之末日迷城

    末日世界的来临,面临这两种选择。生存还是死亡。逃过了生死,躲过了结局,那接下来等待的又将是什么呢。“你到底是一个什么怪物,竟然有这样的能力”傅子琛说道。“你是谁,你到底是谁”薇薇安。“原来是这样………………”看千月是怎么在末日活下去的,看薇薇安是怎么在异国生存的。(搭配着行尸走肉的内容,希望你们不要介意)
  • 钢珠枪

    钢珠枪

    我专门给那把钢珠枪做了个套子,往皮带上一套,腰间就鼓凸起来,市场上的人眼珠子也跟着亮了。二所长,公安执勤室的人也配枪?一个小贩问。我嗯了一声,装得蛮神秘。这枪不是假的吧?小贩仍然不相信。我学着电视上胡司令的样子,拍拍肚皮,再拍拍枪,照例不作回答。小贩这下是相信了。市场公安执勤室挂牌一个月了,我从市管所抽调到执勤室做副主任,跟公安一样,穿警服。前两天,执勤室通过公安局,购了几把钢珠枪。
  • 世界名人成长历程:财富巨擘的企业家(3)

    世界名人成长历程:财富巨擘的企业家(3)

    本书精选荟萃了古今中外各行各业具有代表性的有关名人,其中有政治家、外交家、军事家、谋略家、思想家、文学家、艺术家、教育家、科学家、发明家、探险家、经济学家、企业家等,阅读这些名人的成长故事,能够领略他们的人生追求与思想力量,使我们受到启迪和教益,使我们能够很好地把握人生的关健时点,指导我们走好人生道路,取得事业发展。
  • 十二生肖玩具机器人奇幻之旅

    十二生肖玩具机器人奇幻之旅

    《十二生肖玩具机器人奇幻之旅》中,一个偶然的机会,十二生肖玩具机器人离开了小主人家。他们驾船驶入了大海,在险象环生的孤魂岛,玩具机器人们大开眼界,并在磨难中变得愈加坚强;莫名其妙的漂流瓶使他们再次卷入一场斗争;为了弄清两个月亮之谜,玩具机器人们跌入了海底深渊,并幸运地结识了六大神兽。
  • 你所希望的,终有一天会实现

    你所希望的,终有一天会实现

    这是一本关于爱、梦想和未来的温暖读物。有时候,我们外表看似坚强,但内心却无比脆弱。我们会为了身边人的一句话,而觉得倍受伤害;我们会因为工作一时的不顺,而对未来产生怀疑。
  • 悦读MOOK(第十七卷)

    悦读MOOK(第十七卷)

    本书将带你走进茫茫书海,我们将请一些学者和专家帮你指津,请一些书界人士为你剖析书坛风云,使你从中获得大量的图书信息,还能饱览各类书籍的精彩片段,一册在手,尽情享受读书的乐趣。
  • 爱上一位名叫春妮的女子

    爱上一位名叫春妮的女子

    李东文, 70后。1999年开始学习写作,以小说及情感专栏为主,曾在《天涯》《长城》《十月》《西湖》《长江文艺》等杂志发表小说,作品多次被《小说选刊》《中篇小说选刊》《读者》等转载。