Fur my part, as the train kept getting further and further north, my feelings kept getting more and more mixed. It come to me that I might be steering straight fur a bunch of trouble. The feeling that sadness and melancholy and seriousness was laying ahead of me kept me from really enjoying them dollar-apiece meals on the train. It was Martha that done it. All this past and gone love story I had been hearing about reminded me of Martha. And I was steering straight toward her, and no way out of it. How did I know but what that there girl might be expect-ing fur to marry me, or something like that? Not but what I was awful in love with her whilst we was together. But it hadn't really set in on me very deep. I hadn't forgot about her right away. But purty soon I had got to forgetting her oftener than I remembered her. And now it wasn't no use talk-ing--I jest wasn't in love with Martha no more, and didn't have no ambition to be. I had went around the country a good bit, and got intrusted in other things, and saw several other girls I liked purty well.
Keeping steady in love with jest one girl is mighty hard if you are moving around a good bit.
But I was considerable worried about Martha.
She was an awful romanceful kind of girl. And even the most sensible kind is said to be fools about getting their hearts broke and pining away and dying over a feller. I would hate to think Martha had pined herself sick.
I couldn't shut my eyes to the fact we was en-gaged to each other legal, all right. And if she wanted to act mean about it and take it to a court it would likely be binding on me. Then Isays to myself is she is mean enough to do that I'll be derned if I don't go to jail before I marry her, and stay there.
And then my conscience got to working inside of me agin. And a picture of her getting thin and not eating her vittles regular and waiting and waiting fur me to show up, and me never doing it, come to me. And I felt sorry fur poor Martha, and thought mebby I would marry her jest to keep her from dying. Fur you would feel purty tough if a girl was to get so stuck on you it killed her. Not that I ever seen that really happen, either; but first and last there has been considerable talk about it.
It wasn't but what I liked Martha well enough.
It was the idea of getting married, and staying married, made me feel so anxious. Being married may work out all right fur some folks. But Iknowed it never would work any with me. Or not fur long. Because why should I want to be tied down to one place, or have a steady job? That would be a mean way to live.
Of course, with a person that was the doctor's age it would be different. He had done his running around and would be willing to settle down now, Iguessed. That is, if he could get his differences with this here Buckner family patched up satisfactory.
I wondered whether he would be able to or not.
Him and Colonel Tom were talking constant on the train all the way up. From the little stretches of their talk I couldn't help hearing, I guessed each one was telling the other all that had happened to him in the time that had passed by. Colonel Tom what kind of a life he had lived, and how he had married and his wife had died and left him a wid-ower without any kids. And the doctor--it was always hard fur me to get to calling him anything but Doctor Kirby--how he had happened to start out with a good chancet in life and turn into jest a travelling fakir.
Well, I thinks to myself now that he has got to be that, mebby her and him won't suit so well now, even if they does get their differences patched up.
Fur all the forgiving in the world ain't going to change things, or make them no different. But, so long as the doctor appeared to want to find her so derned bad, I was awful glad I had been the means of getting him and Miss Lucy together. He had done a lot fur me, first and last, the doctor had, and I felt like it helped pay him a little. Though if they was to settle down like married folks I would feel like a good old sport was spoiled in the doctor, too.
We had to change cars at Indianapolis to get to that there little town. We was due to reach it about two o'clock in the afternoon. And the nearer we got to the place the nervouser and nervouser all three of us become. And not owning we was. The last hour before we hit the place, I took a drink of water every three minutes, I was so nervous. And when we come into the town I was already standing out onto the platform. I wouldn't of been sur-prised to find Martha and Miss Lucy down there to the station. But, of course, they wasn't. Fur some reason I felt glad they wasn't.
"Now," I says to them two, as we got off the train, "foller me and I will show you the house."Everybody rubbers at strangers in a country town, and wonders why they have come, and what they is selling, and if they are mebby going to start a new grain elevator, or buy land, or what. The usual ones around the depot rubbered at us, and Ihearn one geezer say to another:
"See that big feller there? He was through here a year or two ago selling patent medicine.""You don't say so!" says the other one, like it was something important, like a president or a circus had come, and his eyes a-bugging out. And the doctor hearn them, too. Fur some reason or other he flushed up and cut a look out of the corner of his eye at Colonel Tom.
We went right through the main street and out toward the edge of town, by the crick, where Miss Lucy's house was. And, if anything, all of us feel-ing nervouser yet. And saying nothing and not looking at each other. And Colonel Tom rolling cigarettes and fumbling fur matches and lighting them and slinging them away. Fur how does any-body know how women is going to take even the most ordinary little things?
