登陆注册
4709100000145

第145章

He more and more seldom went out of the house, more and more seldom left his apartment. At times he would read a great deal, then for days would not open a book, but seem absorbed in meditation--a meditation which had nothing in it worthy of the name. In his communications with Donal, he did not seem in the least aware that he had made him the holder of a secret by which he could frustrate his plans for his family. These plans he clung to, partly from paternity, partly from contempt for society, and partly in the fancy of repairing the wrong he had done his children's mother. The morally diseased will atone for wrong by fresh wrong--in its turn to demand like reparation! He would do anything now to secure his sons in the position of which in law he had deprived them by the wrong he had done the woman whom all had believed his wife. Through the marriage of the eldest with the heiress, he would make him the head of the house in power as in dignity, and this was now almost the only tie that bound him to the reality of things. He cared little enough about Forgue, but his conscience was haunted with his cruelties to the youth's mother. These were often such as I dare not put on record: they came all of the pride of self-love and self-worship--as evil demons as ever raged in the fiercest fire of Moloch. In the madness with which they possessed him, he had inflicted upon her not only sorest humiliations, but bodily tortures: he would see, he said, what she would bear for his sake!

In the horrible presentments of his drug-procured dreams they returned upon him in terrible forms of righteous retaliation. And now, though to himself he was constantly denying a life beyond, the conviction had begun to visit and overwhelm him that he must one day meet her again: fain then would he be armed with something which for her sake he had done for her children! One of the horrible laws of the false existence he led was that, for the deadening of the mind to any evil, there was no necessity it should be done and done again; it had but to be presented in the form of a thing done, or a thing going to be done, to seem a thing reasonable and doable. In his being, a world of false appearances had taken the place of reality; a creation of his own had displaced the creation of the essential Life, by whose power alone he himself falsely created; and in this world he was the dupe of his own home-born phantoms. Out of this conspiracy of marsh and mirage, what vile things might not issue! Over such a chaos the devil has power all but creative. He cannot in truth create, but he can with the degenerate created work moral horrors too hideous to be analogized by any of the horrors of the unperfected animal world. Such are being constantly produced in human society; many of them die in the darkness in which they are generated; now and then one issues, blasting the public day with its hideous glare. Because they are seldom seen, many deny they exist, or need be spoken of if they do. But to terrify a man at the possibilities of his neglected nature, is to do something towards the redemption of that nature.

School-hours were over, but Davie was seated where he had left him, still working. At sight of him Donal, feeling as if he had just come from the presence of the damned, almost burst into tears. A moment more and Arctura entered: it was as if the roof of hell gave way, and the blue sky of the eternal came pouring in heavenly deluge through the ruined vault.

"I have been to call upon Sophia," she said.

"I am glad to hear it," answered Donal: any news from an outer world of yet salvable humanity was welcome as summer to a land of ice.

"Yes," she said; "I am able to go and see her now, because I am no longer afraid of her--partly, I think, because I no longer care what she thinks of me. Her power over me is gone."

"And will never return," said Donal, "while you keep close to the master. With him you need no human being to set you right, and will allow no human being to set you wrong; you will need neither friend nor minister nor church, though all will help you. I am very glad, for something seems to tell me I shall not be long here."

Arctura dropped on a chair--pale as rosy before.

"Has anything fresh happened?" she asked, in a low voice that did not sound like hers. "Surely you will not leave me while--.--I thought--I thought--.--What is it?"

"It is only a feeling I have," he answered. "I believe I am out of spirits."

"I never saw you so before!" said Arctura. "I hope you are not going to be ill."

"Oh, no; it is not that! I will tell you some day, but I cannot now.

All is in God's hands!"

She looked anxiously at him, but did not ask him any question more.

She proposed they should take a turn in the park, and his gloom wore gradually off.

同类推荐
  • 新石头记

    新石头记

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 太上正一法文经

    太上正一法文经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 金光明经玄义

    金光明经玄义

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 峡中行

    峡中行

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • Windsor Castle

    Windsor Castle

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 智慧说话术(现代人智慧全书)

    智慧说话术(现代人智慧全书)

    《现代人智慧全书:智慧说话术》讲述的是教你怎么巧用智慧去说话。
  • 华丽血时代两晋南北朝人的另类历史

    华丽血时代两晋南北朝人的另类历史

    中华盛世的胎动期——两晋南北朝的华丽血时代如果能有部历史回放机,我们按“返回”键,搜索公元265年至公元589年的历史,肯定会在这315年间中华历史上称作“两晋南北朝”的时间段上发现许许多多惊心动魄、叹为观止而又骇人心目、荒诞离奇的“场景”。场景一:公元280年,晋武帝司马炎灭吴国一统天下,飘飘然之余,这位…
  • 亮剑(电视剧《亮剑》原著)

    亮剑(电视剧《亮剑》原著)

    李云龙是一个叱咤风云、百战沙场的职业军人,是一个一生都在血与火中搏斗的名将。他的人生信条是:面对强大的对手,明知不敌,也要毅然亮剑,即使倒下,也要成为一座山、一道岭。在战争与和平的时空转换中,他的人生注定要成为一个传奇。
  • 永嘉禅宗集注

    永嘉禅宗集注

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • The Lifted Veil

    The Lifted Veil

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 一呼百应

    一呼百应

    已完本、出版。出版时已更改书名为《摇滚少女》。不是我们不会飞翔,是你们没有给我们可以翱翔的天空—花开学院高一七班全体语录.萧景夜瞳一个天才的少女吉他手,11岁她折断了鸢乐队节奏吉他手的双翼,16岁,她砍断了鸢乐队主音吉他手的翅膀.从此她成为圈里人的梦魇,她的梦想就是打败秦楚,成就另一个传奇.种萱,一个糊涂的千万里挑一的主唱,自信不满的她却有着让人难以相信的音域跨度。她的本事就是唱的过就唱,唱不过就闪人,咱的特长是舞蹈不是唱歌。摇滚乐手、空手道少女、泡妞四人组、海归派小提琴高手,还有更多的高手,他们都在高一7班。青春+爱情+竞技+励志=一呼百应本文中所有歌词均为原创,谢绝转载。********书友群:48801977加入请注明:书友或书名.
  • 本草纲目花草养颜经

    本草纲目花草养颜经

    自古人们就习惯用花来形容女人的美丽,每个女人也都梦想如花般娇艳。在古代,没有任何的化学方剂,女人养颜之材全部源于天然之物,花草是用得最多的美容材料,历代医家为女人创造了许多美肤养颜的天然本草配方。桃花、红花、芦荟、玫瑰花等被制成香粉、面脂、沐浴香汤等美容用品,用来对付色斑、皮肤粗糙、肤色暗沉、皱纹等各种美容难题。本书集结了历代医家的花草美容养颜妙方,无需担心化学物质对身体的伤害,轻松拥有健康美丽。
  • 英雄联盟之逆天外挂

    英雄联盟之逆天外挂

    (欢迎加入英雄联盟之逆天外挂,开着外挂虐全服。faker:“中国的服务器太不严谨了,我要举报,这个EZ的技能会转弯!”“妈蛋,我要举报,不我要报警,提莫骑大龙了!”PDD:“刀妹大招刮全屏,我从未见过如此无耻的刀妹,我要举报……”小苍、miss、堂姐众多女主播哭着喊着要双排。faker、PDD气得发抖,要举报挂逼。这是一个逆天的外挂,一个挂逼的传奇!
  • 欺骗输赢

    欺骗输赢

    有人曾说,当虚伪的面具被一层层剥下,只剩下背叛、谎言、冷漠。我向往回到当初的寻梦园,真诚、美好、纯净。而现在这个世界存在不只是虚伪,还有高超以真诚来掩饰的谎言,在这场谎言的较量中到底谁能赢,这是一个未知数。敬请期待~
  • 都市超品仙医

    都市超品仙医

    身怀逆天神功,拥有神奇医术,纵横在美女如云的花花都市,苏凌强势崛起,吊打一切,成就一段仙医神话。