登陆注册
4808500000056

第56章 THE LAST TERM.(2)

"Aha! Enjoying the study of light literature, my friends," said he, rubbing his hands. "Common mathematics are not for such soaring minds as yours, are they?"("One hundred a year," thought Beetle, smiling into vacancy.)"Our open incompetence takes refuge in the flowery paths of inaccurate fiction. But a day of reckoning approaches, Beetle mine. I myself have prepared a few trifling foolish questions in Latin prose which can hardly be evaded even by your practised acts of deception. Ye-es, Latin prose. I think, if I may say so--but we shall see when the papers are set--'Ulpian serves your need.' Aha! '_Elucescebat_, quoth our friend.' We shall see! We shall see!"Still no sign from Beetle. He was on a steamer, his passage paid into the wide and wonderful world--a thousand leagues beyond Lundy Island.

King dropped him with a snarl.

"He doesn't know. He'll go on correctin' exercises an' jawin' an' showin' off before the little boys next term--and next." Beetle hurried after his companions up the steep path of the furze-clad hill behind the College.

They were throwing pebbles on the top of the gasometer, and the grimy gas-man in change bade them desist. They watched him oil a turncock sunk in the ground between two furze-bushes.

"Cokey, what's that for?" said Stalky.

"To turn the gas on to the kitchens," said Cokey. "If so be I didn't turn her on, yeou young gen'lemen 'ud be larnin' your book by candlelight.""Um!" said Stalky, and was silent for at least a minute.

"Hullo! Where are you chaps going?" A bend of the lane brought them face to face with Tulke, senior prefect of King's house--a smallish, white-haired boy, of the type that must be promoted on account of its intellect, and ever afterwards appeals to the Head to support its authority when zeal has outrun discretion.

The three took no sort of notice. They were on lawful pass. Tulke repeated his question hotly, for he had suffered many slights from Number Five study, and fancied that he had at last caught them tripping.

"What the devil is that to you?" Stalky replied with his sweetest smile.

"Look here, I'm not goin'--I'm not goin' to be sworn at by the Fifth!" sputtered Tulke.

"Then cut along and call a prefects' meeting," said McTurk, knowing Tulke's weakness.

The prefect became inarticulate with rage.

"Mustn't yell at the Fifth that way," said Stalky. "It's vile bad form.""Cough it up, ducky!" McTurk said calmly.

"I--I want to know what you chaps are doing out of bounds?" This with an important flourish of his ground-ash.

"Ah," said Stalky. "Now we're gettin' at it. Why didn't you ask that before?""Well, I ask it now. What are you doing?"

"We're admiring you, Tulke," said Stalky. "We think you're no end of a fine chap, don't we?""We do! We do!" A dog-cart with some girls in it swept round the corner, and Stalky promptly kneeled before Tulke in the attitude of prayer; so Tulke turned a color.

"I've reason to believe--" he began.

"Oyez! Oyez! Oyez!" shouted Beetle, after the manner of Bideford's town crier, "Tulke has reason to believe! Three cheers for Tulke!"They were given. "It's all our giddy admiration," said Stalky. "You know how we love you, Tulke. We love you so much we think you ought to go home and die. You're too good to live, Tulke.""Yes," said McTurk. "Do oblige us by dyin'. Think how lovely you'd look stuffed!"Tulke swept up the road with an unpleasant glare in his eye.

"That means a prefects' meeting--sure pop," said Stalky. "Honor of the Sixth involved, and all the rest of it. Tulke'll write notes all this afternoon, and Carson will call us up after tea. They daren't overlook that.""Bet you a bob he follows us!" said McTurk. "He's King's pet, and it's scalps to both of 'em if we're caught out. We must be virtuous.""Then I move we go to Mother Yeo's for a last gorge. We owe her about ten bob, and Mary'll weep sore when she knows we're leaving," said Beetle.

"She gave me an awful wipe on the head last time--Mary," said Stalky.

"She does if you don't duck," said McTurk. "But she generally kisses one back. Let's try Mother Yeo."They sought a little bottle-windowed half dairy, half restaurant, a dark-brewed, two-hundred-year-old house, at the head of a narrow side street. They had patronized it from the days of their fagdom, and were very much friends at home.

"We've come to pay our debts, mother," said Stalky, sliding his arm round the fifty-six-inch waist of the mistress of the establishment. "To pay our debts and say good-by--and--and we're awf'ly hungry.""Aie!" said Mother Yeo, "makkin' love to me! I'm shaamed of 'ee.""'Rackon us wouldn't du no such thing if Mary was here," said McTurk, lapsing into the broad North Devon that the boys used on their campaigns.

"Who'm takin' my name in vain?" The inner door opened, and Mary, fair-haired, blue-eyed, and apple-checked, entered with a bowl of cream in her bands. McTurk kissed her. Beetle followed suit, with exemplary calm. Both boys were promptly cuffed.

"Niver kiss the maid when 'e can kiss the mistress," said Stalky, shamelessly winking at Mother Yeo, as he investigated a shelf of jams.

"Glad to see one of 'ee don't want his head slapped no more?" said Mary invitingly, in that direction.

"Neu! Reckon I can get 'em give me," said Stalky, his back turned.

"Not by me--yeou little masterpiece!"

"Niver asked 'ee. There's maids to Northam. Yiss--an' Appledore." An unreproducible sniff, half contempt, half reminiscence, rounded the retort.

"Aie! Yeou won't niver come to no good end. Whutt be 'baout, smellin' the cream?""'Tees bad," said Stalky. "Zmell 'un."

Incautiously Mary did as she was bid.

"Bidevoor kiss."

"Niver amiss," said Stalky, taking it without injury.

"Yeou--yeou--yeou--" Mary began, bubbling with mirth.

"They'm better to Northam--more rich, laike an' us gets them give back again," he said, while McMcTurk solemnly waltzed Mother Yeo out of breath, and Beetle told Mary the sad news, as they sat down to clotted cream, jam, and hot bread.

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 苯毒流入松花江

    苯毒流入松花江

    哈尔滨市民赖以生存的母亲河——松花江突然遭受“苯毒”污染,滋养冰城的血脉被迫立即切断——四百万人口的大都市骤然面临空前而奇特的大水难——大恐慌、大停水、大饥渴、大考验……本纪实披露“水难”期间鲜为人知的故事“小道消息”——大传播2005年11月19日,立冬后的松花江涌动着冰块缓缓流淌着,蜿蜒流过哈尔滨……然而,一条骇人听闻的消息也从松花江上游流传进冰城,迅速在民间传递蔓延。
  • 天涯之外我等你

    天涯之外我等你

    老天永远是公平的,凡事都不能两全其美,给了你别的,便给不了你爱。我出生便活在世界的中心,我是迈集团的第一顺位继承人,陈乔西。“我拥有一切可以用钱买到的东西,可我做这一切并不是想要买了你。”我曾对少年天才路思杰这样说过。“成王败寇,我不需要你的怜悯,更不要你抛妻弃子施舍给我的感情。”我曾对金融巨贾薛成恺这样说过。“我像是深海里的鱼,靠近比自己大的生物格外小心,我靠近了你,果然就被你吞入腹中尸骨无存了。”我曾对我深爱的许穆森这样说过。那些生活的希望,生命的希望,生生不息的希望都连同我对你毫无保留的爱,沉入海底。跟你比起来,钱和欲望不过只是海底砂石,你最重要,你最重要了
  • 宋词是一朵情花

    宋词是一朵情花

    《宋词是一朵情花》:宋词就是开在绝情谷的绚烂情花,我们都中了她的。拈一朵情花,呷一口词香,国学大师汤一介、北大教授李中华、王守常倾情推荐。十余位资深教师倾心审读。
  • 锦绣肥田:农家小地主

    锦绣肥田:农家小地主

    【正文已完结,请放心阅读】瞧一瞧,算一算啦,定吉凶祸福,看阴阳风水,成人八折,小孩半价,调戏者赠送断子绝孙脚一整套了啦!人家说寿终正寝是福,吃饱撑死的是神马?一朝穿越,不是灰姑娘变公主的戏码也就罢了,偏偏变成了农家女,神棍二叔,抠门婶婶,食古不化的爷爷,偏心的奶奶,包子爹妈,还有一不满五岁的弟弟。老天你还能再黑点吗?神马?没问题?你妹,生活刚刚有了起色,就被抠门婶子卖给了人家做媳妇。公婆倒是好人两枚,只是这相公怎么看起来傻乎乎的?且看吃货萌主,如何掐指定乾坤,发家致富斗极品。这位客官请自重,我只需掐一指即可让你断子绝孙……
  • 拿破仑大传

    拿破仑大传

    拿破仑的一生,对于整个历史长河来说是短暂的,但是,他的生命历程如同史诗一般;那深刻的底蕴,肤浅的人根本不可能体会,只有崇尚真实的人才能走到他的内心深处。他称得上前无古人,后无来者,用一生写就了生命的悲歌。在他身上,我们会看到自信和勇气,激情与幻想,勤奋与斗志,而他也凭借这些,使自己的人生达到辉煌。今天,世界充满着变化,无数的机遇,只有那些有卓越才能的人才能得到。全欧洲的热血青年们,没有谁比拿破仑更适合做你们的榜样了!他在所有的西方人中,独一无二,在历史的舞台上呼风唤雨,掀起狂风巨浪,并为之付出了毕生的代价。
  • 家庭幸福经济学

    家庭幸福经济学

    对于“什么是幸福”,范伟曾在电影中有过这样的解释:“我饿了看见别人手里拿个热肉包子,那他就比我幸福;我冷了,看见别人穿了一件厚棉袄,他就比我幸福;我想上茅房,就一个坑,你蹲那儿,你就比我幸福。”范伟的这段话通俗易懂,却有着丰富的经济学内涵。幸福的感觉能在比较中获得,经济学中便有比较优势的理论。
  • 我把你当基友你却想睡我

    我把你当基友你却想睡我

    有一个成天跳大神的基友怎么办?有一个成天看你跳大神还不信你是大神的基友怎么办?很简单,睡了他!!!这就是一对基友,没事儿破破案,抓抓鬼,跳跳大神,然后洗洗抱抱好好睡的故事啊~--情节虚构,请勿模仿
  • 满堂空留梨花泪

    满堂空留梨花泪

    她没想到自己的真心相付,却累得亲人送命!林木青,做过的事都要付出代价,你的命,你的家族我一个都不会放过!可谁能告诉我,为什么儿时玩伴会成了名满国家的少将?自己的孩子竟然也是他的!种种交易背后隐藏的究竟是什么……--情节虚构,请勿模仿
  • 不良校草:我的绝色男友

    不良校草:我的绝色男友

    她是全校有名的年级第一,在他眼中不过是个只会死读书的老土丑丫头;他是人见人爱花见花开的完美校草,在她眼中不过是空长了张漂亮脸蛋的嚣张不良男。不过是因为打赌输了才向他告白,他居然吓得当场晕倒?!表白闹剧之后,“丑丫头”藤千叶与“不良校草”江宇伦的进展成为众人瞩目的头号焦点。可没人知道,这对冤家其实一直在“同居”!更奇怪的是,当得知江宇伦指腹为婚的未婚妻是藤家大小姐时,藤千叶百般破坏,想尽办法逼他解除婚约。在校园话剧中,藤千叶竟由丑陋的“野兽”变身为全场最耀眼的公主!难道千叶并非众人眼中的“丑小鸭”?褪下伪装后她真实的身份是……
  • 王阳明传:心学大师修炼记

    王阳明传:心学大师修炼记

    书香门第奇葩子,龙场觉悟终得道。平定宁王、讨伐两广,且看一代圣贤的传奇人生。阳明者,姓王,名守仁。明代最著名的思想家、教育家、文学家、书法家、哲学家和军事家,也是中国最著名的一代圣贤。就让我们翻开这本书,看看这样一位文韬武略、拯救大明的“古今完人”传奇却又极其充满坎坷的一生。