Enter SIR TOBY and SIR ANDREW
SIR TOBY.Approach, Sir Andrew.Not to be abed after midnight is to be up betimes; and 'diluculo surgere' thou know'st- AGUECHEEK.Nay, by my troth, I know not; but I know to be up late is to be up late.SIR TOBY.A false conclusion! I hate it as an unfill'd can.To be up after midnight and to go to bed then is early; so that to go to bed after midnight is to go to bed betimes.Does not our lives consist of the four elements? AGUECHEEK.Faith, so they say; but I think it rather consists of eating and drinking.SIR TOBY.Th'art a scholar; let us therefore eat and drink.Marian, I say! a stoup of wine.
Enter CLOWN
AGUECHEEK.Here comes the fool, i' faith.CLOWN.How now, my hearts! Did you never see the picture of 'wethree'? SIR TOBY.Welcome, ass.Now let's have a catch.AGUECHEEK.By my troth, the fool has an excellent breast.I had rather than forty shillings I had such a leg, and so sweet a breath to sing, as the fool has.In sooth, thou wast in very gracious fooling last night, when thou spok'st of Pigrogromitus, of the Vapians passing the equinoctial of Queubus; 'twas very good, i' faith.I sent thee sixpence for thy leman; hadst it? CLOWN.I did impeticos thy gratillity; for Malvolio's nose is no whipstock.My lady has a white hand, and the Myrmidons are no bottle-ale houses.AGUECHEEK.Excellent! Why, this is the best fooling, when all is done.Now, a song.SIR TOBY.Come on, there is sixpence for you.Let's have a song.AGUECHEEK.There's a testril of me too; if one knight give a- CLOWN.Would you have a love-song, or a song of good life? SIR TOBY.A love-song, a love-song.AGUECHEEK.Ay, ay; I care not for good life.
CLOWN sings O mistress mine, where are you roaming? O, stay and hear; your true love's coming, That can sing both high and low.Trip no further, pretty sweeting; Journeys end in lovers meeting, Every wise man's son doth know.
AGUECHEEK.Excellent good, i' faith! SIR TOBY.Good, good!
CLOWN sings
What is love? 'Tis not hereafter; Present mirth hath present laughter; What's to come is still unsure.In delay there lies no plenty, Then come kiss me, sweet and twenty; Youth's a stuff will not endure.
AGUECHEEK.A mellifluous voice, as I am true knight.SIR TOBY.A contagious breath.AGUECHEEK.Very sweet and contagious, i' faith.SIR TOBY.To hear by the nose, it is dulcet in contagion.But shall we make the welkin dance indeed? Shall we rouse the night-owl in a catch that will draw three souls out of one weaver? Shall we do that? AGUECHEEK.An you love me, let's do't.I am dog at a catch.CLOWN.By'r lady, sir, and some dogs will catch well.AGUECHEEK.Most certain.Let our catch be 'Thou knave.' CLOWN.'Hold thy peace, thou knave' knight? I shall be constrain'd in't to call thee knave, knight.AGUECHEEK.'Tis not the first time I have constrained one to call me knave.Begin, fool: it begins 'Hold thy peace.' CLOWN.I shall never begin if I hold my peace.AGUECHEEK.Good, i' faith! Come, begin.[Catch sung]
Enter MARIA
MARIA.What a caterwauling do you keep here! If my lady have not call'd up her steward Malvolio, and bid him turn you out of doors, never trust me.SIR TOBY.My lady's a Cataian, we are politicians, Malvolio's a Peg-a-Ramsey, and [Sings] Three merry men be we.Am not I consanguineous? Am I not of her blood? Tilly-vally, lady.[Sings] There dwelt a man in Babylon, Lady, lady.CLOWN.Beshrew me, the knight's in admirable fooling.AGUECHEEK.Ay, he does well enough if he be dispos'd, and so do I too; he does it with a better grace, but I do it more natural.SIR TOBY.[Sings] O' the twelfth day of December- MARIA.For the love o' God, peace!
Enter MALVOLIO
MALVOLIO.My masters, are you mad? Or what are you? Have you no wit, manners, nor honesty, but to gabble like tinkers at this time of night? Do ye make an ale-house of my lady's house, that ye squeak out your coziers' catches without any mitigation orremorse of voice? Is there no respect of place, persons, nor time, in you? SIR TOBY.We did keep time, sir, in our catches.Sneck up!
