Enter VIOLA, and CLOWN with a tabor
VIOLA.Save thee, friend, and thy music! Dost thou live by thy tabor? CLOWN.No, sir, I live by the church.VIOLA.Art thou a churchman? CLOWN.No such matter, sir: I do live by the church; for I do live at my house, and my house doth stand by the church.VIOLA.So thou mayst say the king lies by a beggar, if a beggar dwell near him; or the church stands by thy tabor, if thy tabor stand by the church.CLOWN.You have said, sir.To see this age! A sentence is but a chev'ril glove to a good wit.How quickly the wrong side may be turn'd outward! VIOLA.Nay, that's certain; they that dally nicely with words may quickly make them wanton.CLOWN.I would, therefore, my sister had had name, sir.VIOLA.Why, man? CLOWN.Why, sir, her name's a word; and to dally with that wordmight make my sister wanton.But indeed words are very rascals since bonds disgrac'd them.VIOLA.Thy reason, man? CLOWN.Troth, sir, I can yield you none without words, and words are grown so false I am loath to prove reason with them.VIOLA.I warrant thou art a merry fellow and car'st for nothing.CLOWN.Not so, sir; I do care for something; but in my conscience, sir, I do not care for you.If that be to care for nothing, sir, I would it would make you invisible.VIOLA.Art not thou the Lady Olivia's fool? CLOWN.No, indeed, sir; the Lady Olivia has no folly; she will keep no fool, sir, till she be married; and fools are as like husbands as pilchers are to herrings- the husband's the bigger.I am indeed not her fool, but her corrupter of words.VIOLA.I saw thee late at the Count Orsino's.CLOWN.Foolery, sir, does walk about the orb like the sun- it shines everywhere.I would be sorry, sir, but the fool should be as oft with your master as with my mistress: think I saw your wisdom there.VIOLA.Nay, an thou pass upon me, I'll no more with thee.Hold, there's expenses for thee.[Giving a coin] CLOWN.Now Jove, in his next commodity of hair, send the a beard! VIOLA.By my troth, I'll tell thee, I am almost sick for one; [Aside] though I would not have it grow on my chin.- Is thy lady within? CLOWN.Would not a pair of these have bred, sir? VIOLA.Yes, being kept together and put to use.CLOWN.I would play Lord Pandarusof Phrygia, sir, to bring a Cressida to this Troilus.VIOLA.I understand you, sir; 'tis well begg'd.[Giving another coin] CLOWN.The matter, I hope, is not great, sir, begging but a beggar: Cressida was a beggar.My lady is within, sir.I will construe to them whence you come; who you are and what you would are out of my welkin- I might say 'element' but the word is overworn.Exit CLOWN VIOLA.This fellow is wise enough to play the fool; And to do that well craves a kind of wit.He must observe their mood on whom he jests, The quality of persons, and the time; And, like the haggard, check at every feather That comes before his eye.This is a practice As full of labour as a wise man's art; For folly that he wisely shows is fit; But wise men, folly-fall'n, quite taint their wit.
Enter SIR TOBY and SIR ANDREW
