Enter OLIVIA and MARIA
OLIVIA.I have sent after him; he says he'll come.How shall I feast him? What bestow of him? For youth is bought more oft than begg'd or borrow'd.I speak too loud.Where's Malvolio? He is sad and civil, And suits well for a servant with my fortunes.Where is Malvolio? MARIA.He's coming, madam; but in very strange manner.He is sure possess'd, madam.OLIVIA.Why, what's the matter? Does he rave? MARIA.No, madam, he does nothing but smile.Your ladyship were best to have some guard about you if he come; for sure the man is tainted in's wits.OLIVIA.Go call him hither.Exit MARIA I am as mad as he, If sad and merry madness equal be.Re-enter MARIA with MALVOLIOHow now, Malvolio! MALVOLIO.Sweet lady, ho, ho.OLIVIA.Smil'st thou? I sent for thee upon a sad occasion.MALVOLIO.Sad, lady? I could be sad.This does make some obstruction in the blood, this cross- gartering; but what of that? If it please the eye of one, it is with me as the very true sonnet is: 'Please one and please all.' OLIVIA.Why, how dost thou, man? What is the matter with thee? MALVOLIO.Not black in my mind, though yellow in my legs.It did come to his hands, and commands shall be executed.I think we do know the sweet Roman hand.OLIVIA.Wilt thou go to bed, Malvolio? MALVOLIO.To bed? Ay, sweetheart, and I'll come to thee.OLIVIA.God comfort thee! Why dost thou smile so, and kiss thy hand so oft? MARIA.How do you, Malvolio? MALVOLIO.At your request? Yes, nightingales answer daws! MARIA.Why appear you with this ridiculous boldness before my lady? MALVOLIO.'Be not afraid of greatness.' 'Twas well writ.OLIVIA.What mean'st thou by that, Malvolio? AIALVOLIO.'Some are born great,'- OLIVIA.Ha? MALVOLIO.'Some achieve greatness,'- OLIVIA.What say'st thou? MALVOLIO.'And some have greatness thrust upon them.' OLIVIA.Heaven restore thee! MALVOLIO.'Remember who commended thy yellow stockings,'- OLIVIA.'Thy yellow stockings?' MALVOLIO.'And wish'd to see thee cross-garterd.' OLIVIA.'Cross-garter'd?' MALVOLIO.'Go to, thou an made, if thou desir'st to be so';- OLIVIA.Am I made?
MALVOLIO.'If not, let me see thee a servant still.' OLIVIA.Why, this is very midsummer madness.
Enter SERVANT SERVANT.Madam, the young gentleman of the Count Orsino's is return'd; I could hardly entreat him back; he attends your ladyship's pleasure.OLIVIA.I'll come to him.[Exit SERVANT] Good Maria, let this fellow be look'd to.Where's my cousin Toby? Let some of my people have a special care of him; I would not have him miscarry for the half of my dowry.Exeunt OLIVIA and MARIA MALVOLIO.O, ho! do you come near me now? No worse man than Sir Toby to look to me! This concurs directly with the letter: she sends him on purpose, that I may appear stubborn to him; for she incites me to that in the letter.'Cast thy humble slough,' says she.'Be opposite with kinsman, surly with servants; let thy tongue tang with arguments of state; put thyself into the trick of singularity' and consequently sets down the manner how, as: a sad face, a reverend carriage, a slow tongue, in the habit of some sir of note, and so forth.I have lim'd her; but it is Jove's doing, and Jove make me thankful! And when she went away now- 'Let this fellow be look'd to.' 'Fellow,' not 'Malvolio' nor after my degree, but 'fellow.' Why, everything adheres together, that no dram of a scruple, no scruple of a scruple, no obstacle, no incredulous or unsafe circumstance- What can be said? Nothing that can be can come between me and the full prospect of my hopes.Well, Jove, not I, is the doer of this, and he is to be thanked.
Re-enter MARIA, with SIR TOBY and FABIAN
SIR TOBY.Which way is he, in the name of sanctity? If all the devils of hell be drawn in little, and Legion himself possess'd him, yet I'll speak to him.FABIAN.Here he is, here he is.How is't with you, sir? SIR TOBY.How is't with you, man? MALVOLIO.Go off; I discard you.Let me enjoy my private; go off.MARIA.Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks within him! Did not I tell you? Sir Toby, my lady prays you to have a care of him.MALVOLIO.Ah, ha! does she so? SIR TOBY.Go to, go to; peace, peace; we must deal gently with him.Let me alone.How do you, Malvolio? How is't with you? What, man, defy the devil; consider, he's an enemy to mankind.MALVOLIO.Do you know what you say? MARIA.La you, an you speak ill of the devil, how he takes it at heart! Pray God he be notbewitched.FABIAN.Carry his water to th' wise woman.MARIA.Marry, and it shall be done to-morrow morning, if I live.My lady would not lose him for more than I'll say.MALVOLIO.How now, mistress! MARIA.O Lord! SIR TOBY.Prithee hold thy peace; this is not the way.Do you not see you move him? Let me alone with him.FABIAN.No way but gentleness- gently, gently.The fiend is rough, and will not be roughly us'd.SIR TOBY.Why, how now, my bawcock! How dost thou, chuck? MALVOLIO.Sir! SIR TOBY.Ay, Biddy, come with me.What, man, 'tis not for gravity to play at cherrypit with Satan.Hang him, foul collier! MARIA.Get him to say his prayers, good Sir Toby, get him to pray.MALVOLIO.My prayers, minx! MARIA.No, I warrant you, he will not hear of godliness.MALVOLIO.Go, hang yourselves all! You are idle shallow things; I am not of your element; you shall know more hereafter.Exit SIR TOBY.Is't possible? FABIAN.If this were play'd upon a stage now, I could condemn it as an improbable fiction.SIR TOBY.His very genius hath taken the infection of the device, man.MARIA.Nay, pursue him now, lest the device take air and taint.FABIAN.Why, we shall make him mad indeed.MARIA.The house will be the quieter.SIR TOBY.Come, we'll have him in a dark room and bound.My niece is already in the belief that he's mad.We may carry it thus, for our pleasure and his penance, till our very pastime, tired out of breath, prompt us to have mercy on him; at which time we will bring the device to the bar and crown thee for a finder of madmen.But see, but see.
