SIR TOBY.Gentleman, God save thee.VIOLA.And you, sir.SIR TOBY.That defence thou hast, betake thee tot.Of what nature the wrongs are thou hast done him, I know not; but thy intercepter, full of despite, bloody as the hunter, attends thee at the orchard end.Dismount thy tuck, be yare in thy preparation, for thy assailant is quick, skilful, and deadly.VIOLA.You mistake, sir; I am sure no man hath any quarrel to me; my remembrance is very free and clear from any image of offence done to any man.SIR TOBY.You'll find it otherwise, I assure you; therefore, if you hold your life at any price, betake you to your guard; for your opposite hath in him what youth, strength, skill, and wrath, can furnish man withal.VIOLA.I pray you, sir, what is he? SIR TOBY.He is knight, dubb'd with unhatch'd rapier and on carpet consideration; but he is a devil in private brawl.Souls and bodies hath he divorc'd three; and his incensement at this moment is so implacable that satisfaction can be none but by pangs of death and sepulchre.Hob-nob is his word- give't or take't.VIOLA.I will return again into the house and desire some conduct of the lady.I am no fighter.I have heard of some kind of men that put quarrels purposely on others to taste their valour; belike this is a man of that quirk.SIR TOBY.Sir, no; his indignation derives itself out of a very competent injury; therefore, get you on and give him his desire.Back you shall not to the house, unless you undertake that with me which with as much safety you might answer him; therefore on, or strip your sword stark naked; for meddle you must, that's certain, or forswear to wear iron about you.VIOLA.This is as uncivil as strange.I beseech you do me this courteous office as to know of the knight what my offence to him is: it is something of my negligence, nothing of my purpose.SIR TOBY.I Will do so.Signior Fabian, stay you by this gentleman till my return.Exit SIR TOBY VIOLA.Pray you, sir, do you know of this matter? FABIAN.I know the knight is incens'd against you, even to a mortal arbitrement; but nothing ofthe circumstance more.VIOLA.I beseech you, what manner of man is he? FABIAN.Nothing of that wonderful promise, to read him by his form, as you are like to find him in the proof of his valour.He is indeed, sir, the most skilful, bloody, and fatal opposite that you could possibly have found in any part of Illyria.Will you walk towards him? I will make your peace with him if I can.VIOLA.I shall be much bound to you for't.I am one that would rather go with sir priest than sir knight.I care not who knows so much of my mettle.ExeuntRe-enter SIR TOBY With SIR ANDREW
SIR TOBY.Why, man, he's a very devil; I have not seen such a firago.I had a pass with him, rapier, scabbard, and all, and he gives me the stuck in with such a mortal motion that it is inevitable; and on the answer, he pays you as surely as your feet hit the ground they step on.They say he has been fencer to the Sophy.AGUECHEEK.Pox on't, I'll not meddle with him.SIR TOBY.Ay, but he will not now be pacified; Fabian can scarce hold him yonder.AGUECHEEK.Plague on't; an I thought he had been valiant, and so cunning in fence, I'd have seen him damn'd ere I'd have challeng'd him.Let him let the matter slip, and I'll give him my horse, grey Capilet.SIR TOBY.I'll make the motion.Stand here, make a good show on't; this shall end without the perdition of souls.[Aside] Marry, I'll ride your horse as well as I ride you.
Re-enter FABIAN and VIOLA
[To FABIAN] I have his horse to take up the quarrel; I have persuaded him the youth's a devil.FABIAN.[To SIR TOBY] He is as horribly conceited of him; and pants and looks pale, as if a bear were at his heels.SIR TOBY.[To VIOLA] There's no remedy, sir: he will fight with you for's oath sake.Marry, he hath better bethought him of his quarrel, and he finds that now scarce to be worth talking of.Therefore draw for the supportance of his vow; he protests he will not hurt you.VIOLA.[Aside] Pray God defend me! A little thing would make me tell them how much I lack of a man.FABIAN.Give ground if you see him furious.SIR TOBY.Come, Sir Andrew, there's no remedy; the gentleman will, for his honour's sake, have one bout with you; he cannot by the duello avoid it; but he has promis'd me, as he is a gentleman and a soldier, he will not hurt you.
Come on; to't.AGUECHEEK.Pray God he keep his oath! [They draw] Enter ANTONIOVIOLA.I do assure you 'tis against my will.ANTONIO.Put up your sword.If this young gentleman Have done offence, I take the fault on me: If you offend him, I for him defy you.SIR TOBY.You, sir! Why, what are you? ANTONIO.One, sir, that for his love dares yet do more Than you have heard him brag to you he will.SIR TOBY.Nay, if you be an undertaker, I am for you.[They draw]
Enter OFFICERS
FABIAN.O good Sir Toby, hold! Here come the officers.SIR TOBY.[To ANTONIO] I'll be with you anon.VIOLA.Pray, sir, put your sword up, if you please.AGUECHEEK.Marry, will I, sir; and for that I promis'd you, I'll be as good as my word.He will bear you easily and reins well.FIRST OFFICER.This is the man; do thy office.SECOND OFFICER.Antonio, I arrest thee at the suit Of Count Orsino.ANTONIO.You do mistake me, sir.FIRST OFFICER.No, sir, no jot; I know your favour well, Though now you have no sea-cap on your head.Take him away; he knows I know him well.ANTONIO.I Must obey.[To VIOLA] This comes with seeking you; But there's no remedy; I shall answer it.What will you do, now my necessity Makes me to ask you for my purse? It grieves me Much more for what I cannot do for you Than what befalls myself.You stand amaz'd; But be of comfort.SECOND OFFICER.Come, sir, away.ANTONIO.I must entreat of you some of that money.VIOLA.What money, sir? For the fair kindness you have show'd me here, And part being prompted by your present trouble, Out of my lean and low ability I'll lend you something.My having is not much; I'll make division of my present with you; Hold, there's half my coffer.ANTONIO.Will you deny me now? Is't possible that my deserts to you Can lack persuasion? Do not tempt my misery, Lest that it make me so unsound a man As to upbraid you with those kindnesses That I have done for you.VIOLA.I know of none, Nor know I you by voice or any feature.I hate ingratitude more in a man Than lying, vainness, babbling drunkenness, Or any taint of vice whose strong corruption Inhabits our frail blood.ANTONIO.O heavens themselves! SECOND OFFICER.Come, sir, I pray you go.ANTONIO.Let me speaka little.This youth that you see here I snatch'd one half out of the jaws of death, Reliev'd him with such sanctity of love, And to his image, which methought did promise Most venerable worth, did I devotion.FIRST OFFICER.What's that to us? The time goes by; away.ANTONIO.But, O, how vile an idol proves this god! Thou hast, Sebastian, done good feature shame.In nature there's no blemish but the mind: None can be call'd deform'd but the unkind.Virtue is beauty; but the beauteous evil Are empty trunks, o'erflourish'd by the devil.FIRST OFFICER.The man grows mad.Away with him.Come, come, sir.ANTONIO.Lead me on.Exit with OFFICERS VIOLA.Methinks his words do from such passion fly That he believes himself; so do not I.Prove true, imagination, O, prove true, That I, dear brother, be now ta'en for you! SIR TOBY.Come hither, knight; come hither, Fabian; we'll whisper o'er a couplet or two of most sage saws.VIOLA.He nam'd Sebastian.I my brother know Yet living in my glass; even such and so In favour was my brother; and he went Still in this fashion, colour, ornament, For him I imitate.O, if it prove, Tempests are kind, and salt waves fresh in love! Exit SIR TOBY.A very dishonest paltry boy, and more a coward than a hare.His dishonesty appears in leaving his friend here in necessity and denying him; and for his cowardship, ask Fabian.FABIAN.A coward, a most devout coward, religious in it.AGUECHEEK.'Slid, I'll after him again and beat him.SIR TOBY.Do; cuff him soundly, but never draw thy sword.AGUECHEEK.And I do not- Exit FABIAN.Come, let's see the event.SIR TOBY.I dare lay any money 'twill be nothing yet.Exeunt
