登陆注册
5184400000095

第95章 THE DREAMS THAT CAME(1)

I grew aware of existence,aware also of the profound,the infinite cold.I was intensely blessed--more blessed,I know,than my heart,imagining,can now recall.I could not think of warmth with the least suggestion of pleasure.I knew that I had enjoyed it,but could not remember how.The cold had soothed every care,dissolved every pain,comforted every sorrow.COMFORTED?Nay;sorrow was swallowed up in the life drawing nigh to restore every good and lovely thing a hundredfold!I lay at peace,full of the quietest expectation,breathing the damp odours of Earth's bountiful bosom,aware of the souls of primroses,daisies and snowdrops,patiently waiting in it for the Spring.

How convey the delight of that frozen,yet conscious sleep!I had no more to stand up!had only to lie stretched out and still!How cold I was,words cannot tell;yet I grew colder and colder--and welcomed the cold yet more and more.I grew continuously less conscious of myself,continuously more conscious of bliss,unimaginable yet felt.I had neither made it nor prayed for it:it was mine in virtue of existence!and existence was mine in virtue of a Will that dwelt in mine.

Then the dreams began to arrive--and came crowding.--I lay naked on a snowy peak.The white mist heaved below me like a billowy sea.

The cold moon was in the air with me,and above the moon and me the colder sky,in which the moon and I dwelt.I was Adam,waiting for God to breathe into my nostrils the breath of life.--I was not Adam,but a child in the bosom of a mother white with a radiant whiteness.I was a youth on a white horse,leaping from cloud to cloud of a blue heaven,hasting calmly to some blessed goal.For centuries I dreamed--or was it chiliads?or only one long night?--But why ask?for time had nothing to do with me;I was in the land of thought--farther in,higher up than the seven dimensions,the ten senses:I think I was where I am--in the heart of God.--I dreamed away dim cycles in the centre of a melting glacier,the spectral moon drawing nearer and nearer,the wind and the welter of a torrent growing in my ears.I lay and heard them:the wind and the water and the moon sang a peaceful waiting for a redemption drawing nigh.

I dreamed cycles,I say,but,for aught I knew or can tell,they were the solemn,鎜nian march of a second,pregnant with eternity.

Then,of a sudden,but not once troubling my conscious bliss,all the wrongs I had ever done,from far beyond my earthly memory down to the present moment,were with me.Fully in every wrong lived the conscious I,confessing,abjuring,lamenting the dead,making atonement with each person I had injured,hurt,or offended.Every human soul to which I had caused a troubled thought,was now grown unspeakably dear to me,and I humbled myself before it,agonising to cast from between us the clinging offence.I wept at the feet of the mother whose commands I had slighted;with bitter shame Iconfessed to my father that I had told him two lies,and long forgotten them:now for long had remembered them,and kept them in memory to crush at last at his feet.I was the eager slave of all whom I had thus or anyhow wronged.Countless services I devised to render them!For this one I would build such a house as had never grown from the ground!for that one I would train such horses as had never yet been seen in any world!For a third I would make such a garden as had never bloomed,haunted with still pools,and alive with running waters!I would write songs to make their hearts swell,and tales to make them glow!I would turn the forces of the world into such channels of invention as to make them laugh with the joy of wonder!Love possessed me!Love was my life!Love was to me,as to him that made me,all in all!

Suddenly I found myself in a solid blackness,upon which the ghost of light that dwells in the caverns of the eyes could not cast one fancied glimmer.But my heart,which feared nothing and hoped infinitely,was full of peace.I lay imagining what the light would be when it came,and what new creation it would bring with it--when,suddenly,without conscious volition,I sat up and stared about me.

The moon was looking in at the lowest,horizontal,crypt-like windows of the death-chamber,her long light slanting,I thought,across the fallen,but still ripening sheaves of the harvest of the great husbandman.--But no;that harvest was gone!Gathered in,or swept away by chaotic storm,not a sacred sheaf was there!My dead were gone!I was alone!--In desolation dread lay depths yet deeper than I had hitherto known!--Had there never been any ripening dead?Had I but dreamed them and their loveliness?Why then these walls?why the empty couches?No;they were all up!they were all abroad in the new eternal day,and had forgotten me!They had left me behind,and alone!Tenfold more terrible was the tomb its inhabitants away!

The quiet ones had made me quiet with their presence--had pervaded my mind with their blissful peace;now I had no friend,and my lovers were far from me!A moment I sat and stared horror-stricken.I had been alone with the moon on a mountain top in the sky;now I was alone with her in a huge cenotaph:she too was staring about,seeking her dead with ghastly gaze!I sprang to my feet,and staggered from the fearful place.

The cottage was empty.I ran out into the night.

No moon was there!Even as I left the chamber,a cloudy rampart had risen and covered her.But a broad shimmer came from far over the heath,mingled with a ghostly murmuring music,as if the moon were raining a light that plashed as it fell.I ran stumbling across the moor,and found a lovely lake,margined with reeds and rushes:the moon behind the cloud was gazing upon the monsters'den,full of clearest,brightest water,and very still.--But the musical murmur went on,filling the quiet air,and drawing me after it.

同类推荐
  • 大唐御史台精舍题名考

    大唐御史台精舍题名考

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 度地

    度地

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 石洞集

    石洞集

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 金刚顶瑜伽降三世成就极深密门

    金刚顶瑜伽降三世成就极深密门

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 赠元和十三年登第进

    赠元和十三年登第进

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 倒霉神探系列:永生传奇

    倒霉神探系列:永生传奇

    神探的精密头脑,加上神婆警花的积极协助,一个出人意外的传说渐渐浮上台面,东方的僵尸与西方的吸血鬼在此蓦然汇合,“不死”变成了永恒的诅咒,真正魔鬼其实藏在人类的心中……
  • 钦差相公仵作妻

    钦差相公仵作妻

    女主丁可人容貌很可人,清丽,脱俗!但她的爱好却一点也不可人,她最熟悉的香水味道是福尔马林。她最喜欢的玩具自然就是死人骨头。她也喜欢男人,------躺在手术台上被谋杀的男人。她准确的鉴定报告,把无数谋杀者送进了监狱,而谋杀终于拜访了她,一场蓄意的车祸把她送到了古代,在一个黑漆漆的山洞中醒来,在荒郊野外救了一个男人的命,什么?他是一个钦差大人,该说她是他失踪的未婚妻?是当朝兵部尚书的女儿?那她到底是谁?为什么会失踪?这中间到底有什么秘密?先不管了,人家在这里,-----先要再就业了,那就当个女仵作好了!就跟着这个是自己未婚夫的钦差大人混了!特此声明:书中所用的法医知识分别引用自《中国法医学大典》,《世界法医学基本知识》以及《洗冤集录》,《古代法医学》等等,都不是柳絮发明的!*******************************************推荐柳絮的新文《邪魅丞相狂妄妻》两个绝顶聪明的男主与女主他们在官场上的争斗!推荐柳絮的红楼与悬疑相结合的新文《宝钗私奔玉晚嫁》*******************************************推荐老姐马涵的文《宝宝他爹是那位》推荐老妹流星竹的文《王爷,万“受”无疆》!美女玩转美男的《绝色逍遥》温暖的虐文《总裁狂恋》推荐燕安安虐死人不偿命《贱奴》推荐好友代萍傲妃推荐好友依蓝的文《金步摇》<p推荐好友飞天一猪的文《神棍娘子鬼夫君推荐好友烁梦的文《纯纯小爱神推荐好友祥云涧的《恶女戏情》推荐好友黑樱的文《弃妇休夫记推荐好友雪若蓝的《王爷你别拽推荐好友芸莎的《利雪风飞》推荐好友天旎的《猎爱狂情推荐好友0盈久0的《太后犯桃花》推荐好友月满霜天《上门女婿驯蛮妻》
  • 网游之王者再战

    网游之王者再战

    昔日王者,如今野人,三年空白,落伍他人甚多,却无法掩埋自身本有的光与热,游戏内外,等待他重返荣耀,找回曾属自己的游戏坦途。昔日少爷,如今村夫,三年遁走,埋没多少尘事,却无法摆脱自身应有的缘与命,漫漫人生,等待他重新站起,突破束缚自己的万千桎梏。这是一个退役职业选手,作为老鸟玩家在游戏里装逼的故事。但命运当前,游戏内外的他是否能够把握自己的选择,然后重新塑造自己的人生?“选择决定命运,命运编织未来。”
  • 娃哈哈攻略

    娃哈哈攻略

    1.娃哈哈宗旨:娃哈哈 健康你我他 欢乐千万家2.娃哈哈精神:励精图治 艰苦奋斗 勇于开拓 自强不息3.娃哈哈经营哲学:凝聚小家 发展大家 报效国家4.娃哈哈座右铭:先将诚信施于人 才能取信于人5.娃哈哈工作要求:认真 严格 主动 高效6.娃哈哈行为准则:忠诚 创新 负责 亲情7.娃哈哈工作作风:拉得出 打得响 过得硬8.娃哈哈人才观:唯德唯才 有用即才 人皆为才9.娃哈哈团队意识:道相同 心相通 力相聚 情相融10.娃哈哈核心价值观:敬业爱岗 能上能下 崇尚科学 精益求精
  • 瘫痪

    瘫痪

    陈集益,70后重要作家。曾就读于鲁迅文学院第七届中青年作家高级研讨班。浙江省作协签约作家。在《十月》《人民文学》《中国作家》《钟山》《天涯》等大型文学期刊发表小说六十万字。2009年获《十月》新锐人物奖。2010年获浙江省青年文学之星奖。
  • 知我如你,情深不负

    知我如你,情深不负

    《纵然缘浅,奈何情深》姊妹篇!影视剧已筹拍!他是面容光朗清晖、救死扶伤的白衣天使,也是风评巨差的神秘诱惑者。她不知道,他到底是怎样的一个人,明知前方就是无间地狱,她还是东张西望、充满好奇地叩响了他的门。知我如你,情深不负,她用纯真笑靥,换他交付一生,美好的初识、绝望的爱欲、伤情的分离、极致的偏爱,读过这本书的你和我,都一起分享过。
  • 怀孕生活参照书

    怀孕生活参照书

    只有健康怀孕才能生育健康宝宝,因此,在怀孕时要保证没有遗传疾病和先天疾病,同时还要注意整个孕期的保健,特别是饮食保健和医疗预防等知识,还必须了解有关妊娠知识和胎儿发育规律,并很好地进行胎教,这样的健康怀孕,才能生育身心非常健康的小宝宝。
  • 重生之流年织锦

    重生之流年织锦

    穿成高门嫡女,继母为难她,庶妹算计她?且看她戴着神秘手镯,如何治继母,踩庶妹,她的婚事她做主!咦,这个美男似乎哪里很眼熟?“娘子,你不记得当年河边树下那个救你的美男子了么?”
  • 我家全能医妃超凶的

    我家全能医妃超凶的

    男主重生,女主穿越,自带特工技能。不渣不虐,慢慢爱上!
  • 木倾天下

    木倾天下

    她,现世孤苦无依。异世却大放光彩,别人契约兽宠,本姑娘可不稀罕,看我的金刚琉璃树,看我的乾原绳,看我的食人花。啥,木怕火,那是别人的植物宠,我的植物宠那是能挡魔兽,能护主,又能帮忙,再说了野火烧不尽,春风吹又生吗,天下一切木系植物为我独尊。他,异世大陆上的一个带有神秘色彩的人物,妖孽的容貌,独特的身份,强横的实力,对万千美女不屑于一眼,却独独偏爱她这个人人称为的废物。他说,“有你陪伴,就是地狱我也会潇潇洒洒的走一遭。”☆晓月晨曦★