...I found Jeanne very happy indeed.She told me that, on the Thursday previous, after the visit of her guardian, Mademoiselle Prefere had set her free from the ordinary regulations and lightened her tasks in several ways.Since that lucky Thursday she could walk in the garden--which only lacked leaves and flowers--as much as she liked; and she had been given facilities to work at her unfortunate little figure of Saint-George.
She said to me, with a smile, "I know very well that I owe all of this to you."I tried to talk with her about other matters, but I remarked that she could not attend to what I was saying, in spite of her effort to do so.
"I see you are thinking about something else," I said."Well, tell me what it is; for, if you do not, we shall not be able to talk to each other at all, which would be very unworthy of both of us."She answered, "Oh! I was really listening to you, Monsieur; but it is true that Iwas thinking about something else.You will excuse me, won't you?
I could not help thinking that Mademoiselle Prefere must like you very, very much indeed, to have become so good to me all of a sudden."Then she looked at me in an odd, smiling, frightened way, which made me laugh.
"Does that surprise you?" I asked.
"Very much," she replied.
"Please tell me why?"
"Because I can see no reason, no reason at all...but there!...no reason at all why you should please Mademoiselle Prefere so much.""So, then, you think I am very displeasing, Jeanne?"She bit her lips, as if to punish them for having made a mistake;and then, in a coaxing way, looking at me with great soft eyes, gentle and beautiful as a spaniel's, she said, "I know I said a foolish think; but, still, I do not see any reason why you should be so pleasing to Mademoiselle Prefere.And, nevertheless, you seem to please her a great deal--a very great deal.
She called me one day, and asked me all sorts of questions about you.""Really?"
"Yes; she wanted to find out all about your house.Just think! she even asked me how old your servant was!"And Jeanne burst out laughing.
"Well, what do you think about it?" I asked.
She remained a long while with her eyes fixed on the worn-out cloth of her shoes, and seemed to be thinking very deeply.Finally, looking up again, she answered, "I am distrustful.Isn't it very natural to feel uneasy about what one cannot understand; I know I am foolish; but you won't be offended with me, will you?""Why, certainly not, Jeanne.I am not a bit offended with you."I must acknowledge that I was beginning to share her surprise; and Ibegan to turn over in my old head the singular thought of this young girl--"One is uneasy about what one cannot understand."But, with a fresh burst of merriment, she cried out, "She asked me...guess! I will give you a hundred guesses--a thousand guesses.You give it up?...She asked me if you liked good eating.""And how did you receive this shower of interrogations, Jeanne?""I replied, 'I don't know, Mademoiselle.' And Mademoiselle then said to me, 'You are a little fool.The least details of the life of an eminent man ought to be observed.Please to know, Mademoiselle, that Monsieur Sylvestre Bonnard is one of the glories of France!'""Stuff!" I exclaimed."And what did YOU think about it, Mademoiselle?""I thought that Mademoiselle Prefere was right.But I don't care at all...(I know it is naughty what I am going to say)...I don't care a bit, not a bit, whether Mademoiselle Prefere is or is not right about anything.""Well, then, content yourself, Jeanne, Mademoiselle Prefere was not right.""Yes, yes, she was quite right that time; but I wanted to love everybody who loved you--everybody without exception--and I cannot do it, because it would never be possible for me to love Mademoiselle Prefere.""Listen, Jeanne," I answered, very seriously, "Mademoiselle Prefere has become good to you; try now to be good to her."She answered sharply, "It is very easy for Mademoiselle Prefere to be good to me, and it would be very difficult indeed for me to be good to her."I then said, in a still more serious tone:
"My child, the authority of a teacher is sacred.You must consider your schoolmistress as occupying the place to you of the mother whom you lost."I had scarcely uttered this solemn stupidity when I bitterly regretted it.The child turned pale, and the tears sprang to her eyes.
"Oh, Monsieur!" she cried, "how could you say such a thing--YOU?
You never knew mamma!"
Ay, just Heaven! I did know her mamma.And how indeed could I have been foolish enough to have said what I did?
She repeated, as if to herself:
"Mamma! my dear mamma! my poor mamma!"
A lucky chance prevented me from playing the fool any further.I do not know how it happened at that moment I looked as if I was going to cry.At my age one does not cry.It must have been a bad cough which brought the tears into my eyes.But, anyhow, appearances were in my favour.Jeanne was deceived by them.Oh! what a pure and radiant smile suddenly shone out under her beautiful wet eyelashes--like sunshine among branches after a summer shower! We took each other by the hand and sat a long while without saying a word--absolutely happy.Those celestial harmonies which I once thought I heard thrilling through my soul while I knelt before that tomb to which a saintly woman had guided me, suddenly awoke again in my heart, slow-swelling through the blissful moments with infinite softness.Doubtless the child whose hand pressed my own also heard them; and then, elevated by their enchantment above the material world, the poor old man and the artless young girl both knew that a tender ghostly Presence was making sweetness all about them.
"My child," I said at last, "I am very old, and many secrets of life, which you will only learn little by little, have been revealed to me.
Believe me, the future is shaped out of the past.Whatever you can do to live contentedly here, without impatience and without fretting, will help you live some future day in peace and joy in your own home.
