登陆注册
5200700000040

第40章

Even before the most seductive reveries I have remained mindful of that sobriety of interior life,that asceticism of sentiment,in which alone the naked form of truth,such as one conceives it,such as one feels it,can be rendered without shame.It is but a maudlin and indecent verity that comes out through the strength of wine.I have tried to be a sober worker all my life--all my two lives.I did so from taste,no doubt,having an instinctive horror of losing my sense of full self-possession,but also from artistic conviction.Yet there are so many pitfalls on each side of the true path that,having gone some way,and feeling a little battered and weary,as a middle-aged traveller will from the mere daily difficulties of the march,I ask myself whether I have kept always,always faithful to that sobriety where in there is power and truth and peace.

As to my sea sobriety,that is quite properly certified under the sign-manual of several trustworthy shipmasters of some standing in their time.I seem to hear your polite murmur that "Surely this might have been taken for granted."Well,no.It might not have been.That August academical body,the Marine Department of the Board of Trade,takes nothing for granted in the granting of its learned degrees.By its regulations issued under the first Merchant Shipping Act,the very word SOBER must be written,or a whole sackful,a ton,a mountain of the most enthusiastic appreciation will avail you nothing.The door of the examination rooms shall remain closed to your tears and entreaties.The most fanatical advocate of temperance could not be more pitilessly fierce in his rectitude than the Marine Department of the Board of Trade.As I have been face to face at various times with all the examiners of the Port of London in my generation,there can be no doubt as to the force and the continuity of my abstemiousness.Three of them were examiners in seamanship,and it was my fate to be delivered into the hands of each of them at proper intervals of sea service.The first of all,tall,spare,with a perfectly white head and mustache,a quiet,kindly manner,and an air of benign intelligence,must,I am forced to conclude,have been unfavourably impressed by something in my appearance.

His old,thin hands loosely clasped resting on his crossed legs,he began by an elementary question,in a mild voice,and went on,went on.It lasted for hours,for hours.Had I been a strange microbe with potentialities of deadly mischief to the Merchant Service I could not have been submitted to a more microscopic examination.Greatly reassured by his apparent benevolence,I had been at first very alert in my answers.But at length the feeling of my brain getting addled crept upon me.

And still the passionless process went on,with a sense of untold ages having been spent already on mere preliminaries.Then I got frightened.I was not frightened of being plucked;that eventuality did not even present itself to my mind.It was something much more serious and weird."This ancient person,"I said to myself,terrified,"is so near his grave that he must have lost all notion of time.He is considering this examination in terms of eternity.It is all very well for him.His race is run.But I may find myself coming out of this room into the world of men a stranger,friendless,forgotten by my very landlady,even were I able after this endless experience to remember the way to my hired home."This statement is not so much of a verbal exaggeration as may be supposed.Some very queer thoughts passed through my head while I was considering my answers;thoughts which had nothing to do with seamanship,nor yet with anything reasonable known to this earth.I verily believe that at times I was light-headed in a sort of languid way.At last there fell a silence,and that,too,seemed to last for ages,while,bending over his desk,the examiner wrote out my pass-slip slowly with a noiseless pen.He extended the scrap of paper to me without a word,inclined his white head gravely to my parting bow.

When I got out of the room I felt limply flat,like a squeezed lemon,and the doorkeeper in his glass cage,where I stopped to get my hat and tip him a shilling,said:

"Well!I thought you were never coming out."

"How long have I been in there?"I asked,faintly.

He pulled out his watch.

"He kept you,sir,just under three hours.I don't think this ever happened with any of the gentlemen before."

It was only when I got out of the building that I began to walk on air.And the human animal being averse from change and timid before the unknown,I said to myself that I really would not mind being examined by the same man on a future occasion.But when the time of ordeal came round again the doorkeeper let me into another room,with the now familiar paraphernalia of models of ships and tackle,a board for signals on the wall,a big,long table covered with official forms and having an unrigged mast fixed to the edge.The solitary tenant was unknown to me by sight,though not by reputation,which was simply execrable.

Short and sturdy,as far as I could judge,clad in an old brown morning-suit,he sat leaning on his elbow,his hand shading his eyes,and half averted from the chair I was to occupy on the other side of the table.He was motionless,mysterious,remote,enigmatical,with something mournful,too,in the pose,like that statue of Giugliano (I think)de Medici shading his face on the tomb by Michael Angelo,though,of course,he was far,far from being beautiful.He began by trying to make me talk nonsense.

同类推荐
  • 补红楼梦

    补红楼梦

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • Sintram and His Companions

    Sintram and His Companions

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 子平真诠评注

    子平真诠评注

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 修真十书盘山语录卷

    修真十书盘山语录卷

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 璇矶图

    璇矶图

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 梧桐交魂

    梧桐交魂

    一百年前,我是一颗存在千年的人参,因为自己的执念,天界追杀,我结束了自己的生命。一百年后,生死轮回,我的灵魂被分割在了两个时空。意外的发生,现代的我重新回到了这个未知的时空。梧桐树下我们的约定变成了他的诅咒,一场阴谋的发生,我失去了亲情,失去了友谊,也结束了我们之间的誓言。成长,职责,我必须放下,未知的空间,我学会了责任,学会了爱,一场场重逢,一次次相遇,我终于找到了真实的自己,找回了曾经的感觉。人参山,一百年的前的诅咒,一百年前的约定,我还是我,那个守护人参山的小人参。
  • 英雄联盟之拯救剑圣

    英雄联盟之拯救剑圣

    【热血】【穿越】【逆袭】大学里的吊丝孟多多逆袭成为警局里的风云实习生,成为了英雄穿越地球的“大门”,得到了拉克丝的爱情,同时也陷入了深深的危机。
  • 快穿位面收割攻略

    快穿位面收割攻略

    踏遍千山万水,穿梭三千位面,只为救醒你。——洛彼岸洛彼岸此人,遇见她的人都说她像一团雾,看不透。没有手脚的苦瓜:“为什么他们的名字都那么好听!我却要叫苦瓜!你嫌我还不够苦吗?”某人慵懒的坐在一侧“当时正好在喝苦瓜汁。”“主人,啥时候能带我出去玩啊!”“很快!”之后,苦瓜望着自己的小短手小短脚,留下两碗宽面:“我为什么要做个人!”简而言之,就是某大佬为了救某个人制造出苦瓜穿梭位面收割灵魂力的故事。各个位面里面不涉及谈情说爱,有些位面适当玩智商。某个人并不会在文中出现太多,不是攻略男主或者收集碎片任务,所以并无cp,也不搞暧昧。若欢喜,愿大家点点收藏,不喜也勿喷。作者娇弱。
  • 拂柳临池

    拂柳临池

    前世,你欠我的,我忘了,却在我心中深深地留下了烙印,害得今生与你相遇时,心中嗡鸣。若是重新来过,是不是,可以……
  • 狂少真爱

    狂少真爱

    第一卷:五年之痒婚姻就象一块薄薄的膜,一捅即破。她张着一双美丽的娇瞳,呆滞的眸光定定地落在了男人俊美脸孔上,她的老公,她毕生最爱的人背叛了她,脸色的血色迅速褪尽。她胸尖瞬间蔓延过一片幽冥,心口如蒙上了一层深重的厚布。心瓣破裂,心尖一寸寸地变凉。她看着手机屏幕上闪烁的短信,这个手机号码让她心口变成了一片荒芜。凄凉的泪花从她眼角边沉重地坠落。原来是她,她此生最最好的朋友。第二卷:离婚“要离婚是吧!”她悲哀绝望地盯着他面无表情的俊颜。“一千万。”一字一句从红唇中嗌出。“还真是个爱慕虚荣的女人。”男人森冷一笑,笑意中渗满了讥诮的味道。“第二卷:华丽蜕变三年后女人破茧成蝶,毅然重生。“近来可好,我的前夫。”“你…”望着这个华丽蜕变的女人,男人俊美的笑容僵在了唇边。眼底划过一抹苦涩。——————————————————————————————————————————————————————卷一一场盛大、隆重,空前绝后的国际婚礼,新娘居然跟别的男人跑了。男人因爱而恨,就此展开杀手锏,缠上了女人的妹妹,用着残忍的手段逼她代替姐姐,成了他报复的工具。母亲巨额的医药费,让她别无选择……他娶她无关情爱,完全是因为姐姐背叛了他,高高在上,在商场上能呼风唤雨的男人经不起别人的背叛,就如一把刀狠狠划过他心口,而她嫁他却是因为她爱他。卷二他的身体里住着一头魔,背叛两字象沉重的十字架他逼迫她的姐姐走投无路,满目沧桑地归来。将她逼入低谷,而她只能紧紧地握着指尖那张烙下名字的薄薄纸片凝望着街头来来往往的车辆,茫然空洞的眼瞳,凄瑟哀绝,心门缓缓阖上的刹那,报复的婚姻划上了休止符,她的心坠入冰谷,。
  • 盼来世

    盼来世

    疏桐一世爱的荒唐,他自认为的救命恩人杀她父皇,欲夺天下他她真正的救命恩人却死于她手,为她留下了个完完整整的天下今生无缘黄泉路忘川河奈何桥如若你愿意,三生石上请刻上你的名字就算在忘川河中受难千年只为看你从桥上走过我也愿意
  • 陨无极

    陨无极

    满清御前侍卫与才子,纳兰容若,灵魂飘落在这千年前的秦朝。附于巴蜀郡温家的小小公子温容身上。且看少年如何颠覆这乾坤,结英雄,破红尘,遁入历史长河;着朝服,修帝陵,执掌天下棋局;寻帝者,承史书,大隐隐于世间。
  • 试飞英雄

    试飞英雄

    《试飞英雄》是国内首部关于试飞和试飞员的长篇纪实文学作品。试飞是全世界公认的高风险职业,担任试飞工作的中国空军试飞员被称为“在和平时期离死亡最近的人”。军旅作家张子影历经16载,追随这支英雄群体,亲历他们投身实现伟大复兴中国梦的火热实践,细致记录描绘了历代试飞英雄们叱咤风云、气贯长虹的试飞壮举,解密中国历代各型战机试飞内幕,表现了他们为了理想信念“千金不求,万死不辞”的赤胆忠诚,让我们在感佩时代英雄拼搏奉献精神的同时,也为我国试飞人所取得的一次次试飞奇迹、为我国航空事业的腾飞发展感到自豪和骄傲。
  • 天生帝尊

    天生帝尊

    王尊在出生的那一刻,便无敌了。然而…“尊弟,你是我青瑶大帝的因果,我当护你一生!”重生归来的顾馨遥淡淡道。“尊哥哥,这辈子,天上地下,没人伤得了你。记住,这话,羽凰魔君说的!”转世而来的林小雨轻声道。“尊哥哥,这一次,我不会再让你退我的婚了!”六岁的陆飘雪巧笑嫣然的看着王尊。“王尊,我一定要把你踩在脚下,让你仰望我,爱上我!”……王尊:“???喂喂,我是无敌的好嘛!”PS:纯至尊天才流,无重生,无背景,无奇遇,无金手指…主角就出生就无敌,天生不凡,吊打一切!PS:上本书太监中,人品不能保证,慎入坑……
  • 花严经疏卷第三

    花严经疏卷第三

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。