登陆注册
5210900000100

第100章

It was not unexpected entirely.Aunt Juley's health had been bad all the winter.She had had a long series of colds and coughs,and had been too busy to get rid of them.She had scarcely promised her niece "to really take my tiresome chest in hand,"when she caught a chill and developed acute pneumonia.Margaret and Tibby went down to Swanage.

Helen was telegraphed for,and that spring party that after all gathered in that hospitable house had all the pathos of fair memories.On a perfect day,when the sky seemed blue porcelain,and the waves of the discreet little bay beat gentlest of tattoos upon the sand,Margaret hurried up through the rhododendrons,confronted again by the senselessness of Death.One death may explain itself,but it throws no light upon another:the groping inquiry must begin anew.Preachers or scientists may generalize,but we know that no generality is possible about those whom we love;not one heaven awaits them,not even one oblivion.

Aunt Juley,incapable of tragedy,slipped out of life with odd little laughs and apologies for having stopped in it so long.She was very weak;she could not rise to the occasion,or realize the great mystery which all agree must await her;it only seemed to her that she was quite done up--more done up than ever before;that she saw and heard and felt less every moment;and that,unless something changed,she would soon feel nothing.

Her spare strength she devoted to plans:could not Margaret take some steamer expeditions?were mackerel cooked as Tibby liked them?She worried herself about Helen's absence,and also that she could be the cause of Helen's return.The nurses seemed to think such interests quite natural,and perhaps hers was an average approach to the Great Gate.

But Margaret saw Death stripped of any false romance;whatever the idea of Death may contain,the process can be trivial and hideous.

"Important--Margaret dear,take the Lulworth when Helen comes.""Helen won't be able to stop,Aunt Juley.

She has telegraphed that she can only get away just to see you.She must go back to Germany as soon as you are well.""How very odd of Helen!Mr.Wilcox--"

"Yes,dear?"

"Can he spare you?"

Henry wished her to come,and had been very kind.

Yet again Margaret said so.

Mrs.Munt did not die.Quite outside her will,a more dignified power took hold of her and checked her on the downward slope.She returned,without emotion,as fidgety as ever.On the fourth day she was out of danger.

"Margaret--important,"it went on:"I should like you to have some companion to take walks with.Do try Miss Conder.""I have been a little walk with Miss Conder.""But she is not really interesting.If only you had Helen.""I have Tibby,Aunt Juley."

"No,but he has to do his Chinese.Some real companion is what you need.Really,Helen is odd.""Helen is odd,very,"agreed Margaret.

"Not content with going abroad,why does she want to go back there at once?""No doubt she will change her mind when she sees us.She has not the least balance."That was the stock criticism about Helen,but Margaret's voice trembled as she made it.By now she was deeply pained at her sister's behaviour.It may be unbalanced to fly out of England,but to stop away eight months argues that the heart is awry as well as the head.A sick-bed could recall Helen,but she was deaf to more human calls;after a glimpse at her aunt,she would retire into her nebulous life behind some poste restante.She scarcely existed;her letters had become dull and infrequent;she had no wants and no curiosity.

And it was all put down to poor Henry's account!Henry,long pardoned by his wife,was still too infamous to be greeted by his sister-in-law.

It was morbid,and,to her alarm,Margaret fancied that she could trace the growth of morbidity back in Helen's life for nearly four years.

The flight from Oniton;the unbalanced patronage of the Basts;the explosion of grief up on the Downs--all connected with Paul,an insignificant boy whose lips had kissed hers for a fraction of time.Margaret and Mrs.

Wilcox had feared that they might kiss again.Foolishly:the real danger was reaction.Reaction against the Wilcoxes had eaten into her life until she was scarcely sane.At twenty-five she had an idée fixe.What hope was there for her as an old woman?

The more Margaret thought about it the more alarmed she became.For many months she had put the subject away,but it was too big to be slighted now.There was almost a taint of madness.

Were all Helen's actions to be governed by a tiny mishap,such as may happen to any young man or woman?Can human nature be constructed on lines so insignificant?The blundering little encounter at Howards End was vital.It propagated itself where graver intercourse lay barren;it was stronger than sisterly intimacy,stronger than reason or books.

In one of her moods Helen had confessed that she still "enjoyed"it in a certain sense.Paul had faded,but the magic of his caress endured.

And where there is enjoyment of the past there may also be reaction--propagation at both ends.

Well,it is odd and sad that our minds should be such seed-beds,and we without power to choose the seed.But man is an odd,sad creature as yet,intent on pilfering the earth,and heedless of the growths within himself.He cannot be bored about psychology.

He leaves it to the specialist,which is as if he should leave his dinner to be eaten by a steam-engine.He cannot be bothered to digest his own soul.Margaret and Helen have been more patient,and it is suggested that Margaret has succeeded--so far as success is yet possible.She does understand herself,she has some rudimentary control over her own growth.Whether Helen has succeeded one cannot say.

The day that Mrs.Munt rallied Helen's letter arrived.

She had posted it at Munich,and would be in London herself on the morrow.

同类推荐
  • NOSTROMO

    NOSTROMO

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • Hospital Sketches

    Hospital Sketches

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 六十种曲紫钗记

    六十种曲紫钗记

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 永嘉证道歌

    永嘉证道歌

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • Alfred Tennyson

    Alfred Tennyson

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 华宠令

    华宠令

    新书《七零律政俏佳人》已上传,欢迎大家移步! 重生的薛沐洵最大的苦恼不是如何为前世的父母和自己复仇,也不是嫁个好夫婿,而是她明明内心是个女汉子,父母兄姐和某人偏偏要把她宠成软妹子。父母兄姐:“动我家小六者,往死里揍!”某男:“小六是我的,不服来战!”外表软萌的薛小六一脸淡定,“姐自己搞得定!”
  • 异星垦荒团

    异星垦荒团

    异虫大军:嗷嗷嗷!人类枪兵:哒哒哒哒!灵能利刃:唰唰唰!
  • 离开一座城

    离开一座城

    第二天,当飞机从北郊机场起飞飞到城市的上空时,田梅透过机窗俯视着身下的这座城市,突然觉得陌生起来,这就是自己生活中的城市吗?此时此刻,她想不起还有谁还在这座城市里……周晓曼去了印尼,刘天水回东湾过年去了,叶一凡逃避得无影无踪,连老蓝也去了另一个城市的拘留所。原来,离开一座城是一件很简单的事情,离开后,想想一点儿也不复杂。只是,每个人离开的理由不同。
  • 如果巴黎不快乐3

    如果巴黎不快乐3

    佟少说过:爱过他的女人,再也不会爱上别的男人。所以我们相信,一切都不会变,那些误会,是我们相爱的过程中最常见的。一切只因,我太过爱你。他们之间,有了一个可爱的女儿,叫佟黎声。曼君成为赫赫有名的大律师,她终于可以与那个优秀骄傲的卓尧相匹配。一个律政佳人,一个商界大亨,他们的婚姻,还会浪漫如初吗?“阮曼君,你跟我比,你唯一可以骄傲的就是你的男人是佟卓尧,除此之外,你还有什么?”【情节虚构,请勿模仿】
  • Random Acts of Senseless Violence
  • 贡愚录

    贡愚录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 紫箫记(汤显祖戏曲全集)

    紫箫记(汤显祖戏曲全集)

    本书取材于唐代蒋防的传奇小说《霍小玉传》,但割弃了小说中因李益负心而导致霍小玉死亡的情节。叙述李益与霍小玉结婚后,李益随军出征,霍小玉在家怀念不已,至李益七夕回京,两人团聚而止,仅为卷首“开宗”所预告的剧情之半。
  • 锄奸

    锄奸

    这是著名作家石钟山继《激情燃烧的岁月》、《幸福像花儿一样》之后,最新写就的一部长篇小说。小说写的是抗日战争时期,县大队吃了汉奸林振海的大亏,在一次反围剿中损失惨重。李彪临危授命,出任锄奸队队长。在几次锄奸活动中,李彪好几次都把林振海抓住了,但都因为种种原因,阴差阳错地屡次被林振海逃脱。李彪从抗战时期一直追踪林振海到解放战争,直至建国后,最后两人在庙里意外撞上,林振海服毒自杀,李彪扛着他回去复命除了锄奸的主线外,小说还穿插了李彪与白冬菊、胡小月等的情感纠葛,为作品增添了一些烟火气,丰富了小说叙述的层面。
  • 超级位面商城

    超级位面商城

    重生平行世界,发展华夏的军工科技,为成为全宇宙最大的军火帝国而努力。QQ群:523304758
  • 重生媚骨倾颜

    重生媚骨倾颜

    枫叶国丞相之女一出生脸上呈现五种颜色,身上皮肤青紫,一出生睁着双眼,把接生婆吓晕在产房,而母亲因难产大出血而亡!丞相认为此女带煞将才出生第一天的她连夜送走埋葬…母亲院里的管事嚒嚒于心不忍,偷偷将她塞在一辆出城马车帘子后…殊不知此时襁褓中的孩子已经在出生换了芯,确切的说孩子胎死腹中,出生的是莫嫣一个A国暗艳组成员,专门收集重要情报,暗艳组属于A国特殊存在,组员美艳不可方物,从小被培养柔骨术,必须媚骨天成者方可修炼,万万人中方有一人,修炼者就算天生丑也会越来越美…莫嫣就是其中一员,一次任务中误入古墓触碰密室中一条五彩手链,晕炫中睁开眼已经是婴儿……………