"I cannot," sobbed Madame, beginning once more to catch her breath."At such a moment food becomes repulsive!""I assure you our cook's ice puddings are quite delicious; aren't they, grannie?""I have no idea, Hennessey," said Mrs.Merillia, who was so upset by the extraordinary scene at which she was presiding in the character of hostess, that she mechanically clutched the left bandeau of her delightful wig, and set it quite a quarter of an inch awry.
"Try it, Madame," cried the Prophet."I implore you to try it."Thus adjured Madame detached a large piece of the agile pudding with some difficulty, and subsided into a morose silence, while her husband sat with his eyes fixed imploringly upon her, totally regardless of his social duties.As both Mrs.Merillia and Lady Julia were by this time thoroughly unnerved, and Sir Tiglath was once more immersed in his food, the whole burden of conversation fell upon the Prophet, who indulged in a feverish monologue that lasted until the end of dinner.
What he talked about he could never afterwards certainly remember, but he had a vague idea that he discussed the foreign relations of England with Madagascar, the probable future of Poland, the social habits of the women of Alaska, the prospects of tobacco culture in West Meath, and the effect that imported Mexicans would be likely to produce upon the natural simplicity of such unsophisticated persons as inhabit Lundy Island or the more remote districts of the Shetlands.When the ladies at length rose to leave the dining-room his brain was in a whirl and he had little doubt that his temperature was up to 104.Nevertheless his mind was still active, was indeed preternaturally acute for the moment, and he saw in a flash the impossibility of leaving Madame Sagittarius alone with his grandmother and Lady Julia.As they got up from their seats he therefore took out his watch and said,--"Dear me! It is later than I had supposed.I am afraid we ought to be starting for Zoological House.Mrs.Bridgeman will be expecting us.""Certainly, sir, certainly!" said Mr.Sagittarius, with all the alacrity of supreme cowardice, and casting a terror-stricken glance towards Sir Tiglath, who was glowering at him with glassy eyes above a glass of port."Mrs.Bridgeman will be expecting us!""I will assume my cloak," said Madame, fiercely."Jupiter!""My darling!"
"Kindly seek my furs."
"Certainly, my love," replied Mr.Sagittarius, darting eagerly from the apartment to fetch the rabbit-skins.
"Lady Julia, I hope you will forgive us," said the Prophet, with passionate contrition."If I had had the slightest idea that we should have the pleasure of seeing you to-night, of course I should have given up this engagement.But it is such an old one--settled months ago--and I have promised Mrs.Bridgeman so faithfully that--""The old astronomer will go with you," cried Sir Tiglath at this moment, swallowing his glass of port at a gulp, and rolling out of his chair.
The Prophet turned cold, thinking of Miss Minerva, who would be present at Mrs.Bridgeman's living her secret double life.It was imperative to prevent the astronomer from accompanying them.
"I did not think you knew Mrs.Bridgeman, Sir Tiglath," the Prophet began, while Mrs.Merillia and Lady Julia stood blankly near the door, trying to look calm and dignified while everyone was ardently preparing to desert them.
"The old astronomer must know her before the evening is one hour more advanced.He must question her regarding the holy stars.He must examine her and this Sagittarius, who claims to be an outside broker and yet to have discovered oxygen in the fixed inhabitants of the sacred heavens.My cloak!"The last words were bellowed at Gustavus, who rushed forward with Sir Tiglath's Inverness.
The Prophet lowed his head, and metaphorically, threw up the sponge.
"Lady Julia," said Mrs.Merillia, in a soft voice that slightly trembled, "let us go upstairs."The two old ladies bowed with tearful dignity, and retired with a sort of gentle majesty that cut the Prophet to the heart.
"One moment, if you please!" he said to his guests.
And he darted out of the room and leaped up the stairs.He found Mrs.
Merillia and Lady Julia just about to dispose themselves side by side upon a sofa near the fire.They turned and looked at him with reproachful doves' eyes.
"Grannie--Lady Julia!" he exclaimed, "I implore your forgiveness.
Pardon me! Appearances are against me, I know.But some day you may understand how I am placed.My position is--my--my situation--I--you--do not wholly condemn me! Wait--wait a few days, I implore you!"He rushed out of the room.
The two old ladies seated themselves upon the sofa, and tremblingly spread abroad their damask skirts.They looked at each other in silence, shaking their elegant heads.Then Mrs.Merillia said, in a fluttering voice,--"Oh, Julia, you were a lady in waiting to Her Majesty, you were kissed by the great Duke--tell me--tell me what it all means!""Victoria," replied Lady Julia, "it means that your grandson has fallen into the clutches of a dangerous and determined ratcatcher."And then the two old ladies mingled their damask skirts and their lace caps and wept.
