You see, I deceived him just now, I made him promise to believe me and I told him a lie.I told him that I was going to spend the evening with my old man, Kuzma Kuzmitch, and should be there till late counting up his money.I always spend one whole evening a week with him making up his accounts.We lock ourselves in and he counts on the reckoning beads while I sit and put things down in the book.Iam the only person he trusts.Mitya believes that I am there, but Icame back and have been sitting locked in here, expecting some news.
How was it Fenya let you in? Fenya, Fenya, run out to the gate, open it and look about whether the captain is to be seen! Perhaps he is hiding and spying, I am dreadfully frightened."There's no one there, Agrafena Alexandrovna, I've just looked out;I keep running to peep through the crack; I am in fear and trembling myself.""Are the shutters fastened, Fenya? And we must draw the curtains- that's better!" She drew the heavy curtains herself."He'd rush in at once if he saw a light.I am afraid of your brother Mitya to-day, Alyosha."Grushenka spoke aloud, and, though she was alarmed, she seemed very happy about something.
"Why are you so afraid of Mitya to-day?" inquired Rakitin."Ishould have thought you were not timid with him, you'd twist him round your little finger.""I tell you, I am expecting news, priceless news, so I don't want Mitya at all.And he didn't believe, I feel he didn't, that Ishould stay at Kuzma Kuzmitch's.He must be in his ambush now, behind Fyodor Pavlovitch's, in the garden, watching for me.And if he's there, he won't come here, so much the better! But I really have been to Kuzma Kuzmitch's, Mitya escorted me there.I told him Ishould stay there till midnight, and I asked him to be sure to come at midnight to fetch me home.He went away and I sat ten minutes with Kuzma Kuzmitch and came back here again.Ugh, I was afraid, I ran for fear of meeting him.""And why are you so dressed up? What a curious cap you've got on!""How curious you are yourself, Rakitin! I tell you, I am expecting a message.If the message comes, I shall fly, I shall gallop away and you will see no more of me.That's why I am dressed up, so as to be ready.""And where are you flying to?"
"If you know too much, you'll get old too soon.""Upon my word! You are highly delighted...I've never seen you like this before.You are dressed up as if you were going to a ball." Rakitin looked her up and down.
"Much you know about balls."
"And do you know much about them?"
"I have seen a ball.The year before last, Kuzma Kuzmitch's son was married and I looked on from the gallery.Do you suppose I want to be talking to you, Rakitin, while a prince like this is standing here.
Such a visitor! Alyosha, my dear boy, I gaze at you and can't believe my eyes.Good heavens, can you have come here to see me! To tell you the truth, I never had a thought of seeing you and I didn't think that you would ever come and see me.Though this is not the moment now, I am awfully glad to see you.Sit down on the sofa, here, that's right, my bright young moon.I really can't take it in even now....Eh, Rakitin, if only you had brought him yesterday or the day before! But I am glad as it is! Perhaps it's better he has come now, at such a moment, and not the day before yesterday."She gaily sat down beside Alyosha on the sofa, looking at him with positive delight.And she really was glad, she was not lying when she said so.Her eyes glowed, her lips laughed, but it was a good-hearted merry laugh.Alyosha had not expected to see such a kind expression in her face....He had hardly met her till the day before, he had formed an alarming idea of her, and had been horribly distressed the day before by the spiteful and treacherous trick she had played on Katerina Ivanovna.He was greatly surprised to find her now altogether different from what he had expected.And, crushed as he was by his own sorrow, his eyes involuntarily rested on her with attention.Her whole manner seemed changed for the better since yesterday, there was scarcely any trace of that mawkish sweetness in her speech, of that voluptuous softness in her movements.Everything was simple and good-natured, her gestures were rapid, direct, confiding, but she was greatly excited.
"Dear me, how everything comes together to-day!" she chattered on again."And why I am so glad to see you, Alyosha, I couldn't say myself! If you ask me, I couldn't tell you.""Come, don't you know why you're glad?" said Rakitin, grinning.
"You used to be always pestering me to bring him, you'd some object, Isuppose."
"I had a different object once, but now that's over, this is not the moment.I say, I want you to have something nice.I am so good-natured now.You sit down, too, Rakitin; why are you standing?
You've sat down already? There's no fear of Rakitin's forgetting to look after himself.Look, Alyosha, he's sitting there opposite us, so offended that I didn't ask him to sit down before you.Ugh, Rakitin is such a one to take offence!" laughed Grushenka."Don't be angry, Rakitin, I'm kind to-day.Why are you so depressed, Alyosha? Are you afraid of me?" She peeped into his eyes with merry mockery.
"He's sad.The promotion has not been given," boomed Rakitin.
"His elder stinks."
"What? You are talking some nonsense, you want to say something nasty.Be quiet, you stupid! Let me sit on your knee, Alyosha, like this." She suddenly skipped forward and jumped, laughing, on his knee, like a nestling kitten, with her right arm about his neck."I'll cheer you up, my pious boy.Yes, really, will you let me sit on your knee?
