Ah！my dear friend，what can I say in answer except the cruel /"It is too late"/of that fool Lafayette to his royal master？Oh！my life，my sweet life，what physician will give it back to me.My own hand has dealt the deathblow.Alas！have I not been a mere will-o'-the-wisp，whose twinkling spark was fated to perish before it reached a flame？
My eyes rain torrents of tears--and yet they must not fall when I am with him.I fly to him，and he seeks me.My despair is all within.
This torture Dante forgot to place in his /Inferno./Come to see me die！
第一章THE COMTESSE DE L'ESTORADE TO THE COMTE DE L'ESTORADETHE CHALET，August 7th
My love，--Take the children away to Provence without me；I remain with Louise，who has only a few days yet to live.I cannot leave either her or her husband，for whose reason I fear.
You know the scrap of letter which sent me flying to Ville d'Avray，picking up the doctors on my way.Since then I have not left my darling friend，and it has been impossible to write to you，for I have sat up every night for a fortnight.
When I arrived，I found her with Gaston，in full dress，beautiful，laughing，happy.It was a heroic falsehood！They were like two lovely children together in their restored confidence.For a moment I was deceived，like Gaston，by the effontery；but Louise pressed my hand，whispering：
"He must not know；I am dying."
An icy chill fell over me as I felt her burning hand and saw the red spots on her cheeks.I congratulated myself on my prudence in leaving the doctors in the wood till they should be sent for.
"Leave us for a little，"she said to Gaston."Two women who have not met for five years have plenty of secrets to talk over，and Renee，Ihave no doubt，has things to confide in me."
Directly we were alone，she flung herself into my arms，unable longer to restrain her tears.
"Tell me about it，"I said."I have brought with me，in case of need，the best surgeon and the best physician from the hospital，and Bianchon as well；there are four altogether.""Ah！"she cried，"have them in at once if they can save me，if there is still time.The passion which hurried me to death now cries for life！""But what have you done to yourself？"
"I have in a few days brought myself to the last stage of consumption.""But how？"
"I got myself into a profuse perspiration in the night，and then ran out and lay down by the side of the lake in the dew.Gaston thinks Ihave a cold，and I am dying！"
"Send him to Paris；I will fetch the doctors myself，"I said，as Irushed out wildly to the spot where I had left them.
Alas！my love，after the consultation was over，not one of the doctors gave me the least hope；they all believe that Louise will die with the fall of the leaves.The dear child's constitution has wonderfully helped the success of her plan.It seems she has a predisposition to this complaint；and though，in the ordinary course，she might have lived a long time，a few days'folly has made the case desperate.
I cannot tell you what I felt on hearing this sentence，based on such clear explanations.You know that I have lived in Louise as much as in my own life.I was simply crushed，and could not stir to escort to the door these harbingers of evil.I don't know how long I remained lost in bitter thoughts，the tears running down my cheeks，when I was roused from my stupor by the words：
"So there is no hope for me！"in a clear，angelic voice.
It was Louise，with her hand on my shoulder.She made me get up，and carried me off to her small drawing-room.With a beseeching glance，she went on：
"Stay with me to the end；I won't have doleful faces round me.Above all，I must keep the truth from /him/.I know that I have the strength to do it.I am full of youth and spirit，and can die standing！For myself，I have no regrets.I am dying as I wished to die，still young and beautiful，in the perfection of my womanhood.
"As for him，I can see very well now that I should have made his life miserable.Passion has me in its grips，like a struggling fawn，impatient of the toils.My groundless jealousy has already wounded him sorely.When the day came that my suspicions met only indifference--which in the long run is the rightful meed of all jealousy--well，that would have been my death.I have had my share of life.There are people whose names on the muster-roll of the world show sixty years of service，and yet in all that time they have not had two years of real life，whilst my record of thirty is doubled by the intensity of my love.
"Thus for him，as well as for me，the close is a happy one.But between us，dear Renee，it is different.You lose a loving sister，and that is a loss which nothing can repair.You alone here have the right to mourn my death."After a long pause，during which I could only see her through a mist of tears，she continued：
"The moral of my death is a cruel one.My dear doctor in petticoats was right；marriage cannot rest upon passion as its foundation，nor even upon love.How fine and noble is your life！keeping always to the one safe road，you give your husband an ever-growing affection；while the passionate eagerness with which I threw myself into wedded life was bound in nature to diminish.Twice have I gone astray，and twice has Death stretched forth his bony hand to strike my happiness.The first time，he robbed me of the noblest and most devoted of men；now it is my turn，the grinning monster tears me from the arms of my poet husband，with all his beauty and his grace.
