登陆注册
5233000000037

第37章 CHAPTER XXV.(1)

"I had to go twenty-five versts by carriage and eight hours by train. By carriage it was a very pleasant journey. The coolness of autumn was accompanied by a brilliant sun. You know the weather when the wheels imprint themselves upon the dirty road.

The road was level, and the light strong, and the air strengthening. The tarantass was comfortable. As I looked at the horses, the fields, and the people whom we passed, I forgot where I was going. Sometimes it seemed to me that I was travelling without an object,--simply promenading,--and that Ishould go on thus to the end of the world. And I was happy when I so forgot myself. But when I remembered where I was going, Isaid to myself: 'I shall see later. Don't think about it.'

"When half way, an incident happened to distract me still further. The tarantass, though new, broke down, and had to be repaired. The delays in looking for a telegue, the repairs, the payment, the tea in the inn, the conversation with the dvornik, all served to amuse me. Toward nightfall all was ready, and Istarted off again. By night the journey was still pleasanter than by day. The moon in its first quarter, a slight frost, the road still in good condition, the horses, the sprightly coachman, all served to put me in good spirits. I scarcely thought of what awaited me, and was gay perhaps because of the very thing that awaited me, and because I was about to say farewell to the joys of life.

"But this tranquil state, the power of conquering my preoccupation, all ended with the carriage drive. Scarcely had I entered the cars, when the other thing began. Those eight hours on the rail were so terrible to me that I shall never forget them in my life. Was it because on entering the car I had a vivid imagination of having already arrived, or because the railway acts upon people in such an exciting fashion? At any rate, after boarding the train I could no longer control my imagination, which incessantly, with extraordinary vivacity, drew pictures before my eyes, each more cynical than its predecessor, which kindled my jealousy. And always the same things about what was happening at home during my absence. I burned with indignation, with rage, and with a peculiar feeling which steeped me in humiliation, as I contemplated these pictures. And I could not tear myself out of this condition. I could not help looking at them, I could not efface them, I could not keep from evoking them.

"The more I looked at these imaginary pictures, the more Ibelieved in their reality, forgetting that they had no serious foundation. The vivacity of these images seemed to prove to me that my imaginations were a reality. One would have said that a demon, against my will, was inventing and breathing into me the most terrible fictions. A conversation which dated a long time back, with the brother of Troukhatchevsky, I remembered at that moment, in a sort of ecstasy, and it tore my heart as I connected it with the musician and my wife. Yes, it was very long ago.

The brother of Troukhatchevsky, answering my questions as to whether he frequented disreputable houses, said that a respectable man does not go where he may contract a disease, in a low and unclean spot, when one can find an honest woman. And here he, his brother, the musician, had found the honest woman.

'It is true that she is no longer in her early youth. She has lost a tooth on one side, and her face is slightly bloated,' thought I for Troukhatchevsky. 'But what is to be done? One must profit by what one has.'

"'Yes, he is bound to take her for his mistress,' said I to myself again; 'and besides, she is not dangerous.'

"'No, it is not possible' I rejoined in fright. 'Nothing, nothing of the kind has happened, and there is no reason to suppose there has. Did she not tell me that the very idea that I could be jealous of her because of him was humiliating to her?' 'Yes, but she lied,' I cried, and all began over again.

同类推荐
  • 观妓人入道二首

    观妓人入道二首

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 翠虚篇

    翠虚篇

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 天妃显圣录

    天妃显圣录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 摄大乘论释序(十五卷成)

    摄大乘论释序(十五卷成)

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 抒情集

    抒情集

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 口袋妖怪之小风

    口袋妖怪之小风

    神奇宝贝之行,看二世为人的小风,在精灵大陆闯下一片天空。QQ群206131356
  • 解放北平(百城百战解放战争系列)

    解放北平(百城百战解放战争系列)

    本书以纪实手法纪录了为实现和平解放北平的目的,中共中央加强了对傅作义的政治争取工作,傅作义将军最终顺应历史潮流,施行了和平解放北平的行动……
  • 种植小窍门(最实用的居家小书)

    种植小窍门(最实用的居家小书)

    我想要一方土地和一角阳台,在那里种上我喜欢的各种植物,看着它们绿色盎然,看着它们争奇斗艳。浇水、施肥、培土我都会亲力亲为,我希望它们可以健康的成长,开出美丽的花朵,结出丰硕的果实。可是它们有时也会生病,我会心疼的寻找它们生病的原因,为他们治疗。做这些让我很快乐,朋友们,你们也和我一起来种植吧!
  • 让学生争做第一的66个故事

    让学生争做第一的66个故事

    励志就是勉励自己勤奋向学,集中心思致力于某种事业。志,就是心愿所往,心之所向,是未表露出来的长远的打算。汉代班固《白虎通·谏诤》里“励志忘生,为君不避丧生”的话,讲的就是这个意思。励志是一门学问,这门学问应该从小学起,终生不辍。
  • 海贼中的守门人

    海贼中的守门人

    你穿越到了海贼王...你得到一个游戏系统...你毫不犹豫的开始升级...某天,你听见了一道声音好像在说,“世界即将开启...”
  • 中国散曲与曲词精读讲堂(中国文学知识漫谈)

    中国散曲与曲词精读讲堂(中国文学知识漫谈)

    《中国文学知识漫谈》,主要包括中国文学发展历史、民族与民间文学、香港与台湾文学、神话与传说、诗歌与文赋、散曲与曲词、小说与散文、寓言与小品、笔记与游记、楹联与碑铭等内容, 具有很强的文学性、可读性和知识性, 是我们广大读者了解中国文学作品、增长文学素质的良好读物, 也是各级图书馆珍藏的最佳版本。
  • 电影编剧学

    电影编剧学

    写作这本书的目的,是想向读者介绍写作影视剧本必须具备的一些知识。通过这本书,我想告诉读者,写影视剧本不同于写小说,或写舞台剧本。尽管无论是小说,还是舞台剧本,或是影视剧本,它们都包含主题、人物、情节、结构、语言等要素,但影视剧本有它自身的一些特点。这些特点概括起来说:一是,因为影视是造型和叙事相结合的艺术,因此写影视剧本的人必须具备强烈的造型意识,要学会用镜头去讲故事;二是,因为影视是画面和声音相结合的艺术,因此写影视剧本的人必须掌握视听语言,要学会用声画结合的方式去讲故事;三是,因为影视是时间和空间相结合的艺术,因此写影视剧本的人必须具备影视的时空结构意识,要学会用时空的变化去结构剧本。
  • 某美漫的阴阳师

    某美漫的阴阳师

    一位非酋少年的美漫之路。(ps:以漫威电影为主,时间线作者脑补。)(慢热型)
  • 恃宠而骄:笨妃误乱邪皇心

    恃宠而骄:笨妃误乱邪皇心

    可爱如她,邪魅如他,她总是不断的扰乱他的心活泼如他,腹黑如他,她总是不断的让他用心呵护。神。“你就是我又厌恶又喜爱的玩具。“??
  • 林家铺子(走进名家 重温经典)

    林家铺子(走进名家 重温经典)

    本书收录了茅盾先生的《林家铺子》、“农村三部曲”等短篇小说。《林家铺子》原名《倒闭》,它以1932年“一·二八”事变前后的江浙农村为背景,透过林家铺子由挣扎到的倒闭的过程,揭示了民族商业走向破产的厄运。1959年,文学家夏衍将其改编成剧本,同名电影成为银幕经典。