登陆注册
5233000000041

第41章 CHAPTER XXVII.(1)

"I Remember only the expression of their faces when I opened the door. I remember that, because it awakened in me a feeling of sorrowful joy. It was an expression of terror, such as Idesired. Never shall I forget that desperate and sudden fright that appeared on their faces when they saw me. He, I believe, was at the table, and, when he saw or heard me, he started, jumped to his feet, and retreated to the sideboard. Fear was the only sentiment that could be read with certainty in his face. In hers, too, fear was to be read, but accompanied by other impressions. And yet, if her face had expressed only fear, perhaps that which happened would not have happened. But in the expression of her face there was at the first moment--at least, Ithought I saw it--a feeling of ennui, of discontent, at this disturbance of her love and happiness. One would have said that her sole desire was not to be disturbed IN THE MOMENT OF HERHAPPINESS. But these expressions appeared upon their faces only for a moment. Terror almost immediately gave place to interrogation. Would they lie or not? If yes, they must begin.

If not, something else was going to happen. But what?

"He gave her a questioning glance. On her face the expression of anguish and ennui changed, it seemed to me, when she looked at him, into an expression of anxiety for HIM. For a moment I stood in the doorway, holding the dagger hidden behind my back.

Suddenly he smiled, and in a voice that was indifferent almost to the point of ridicule, he said:

"'We were having some music.'

"'I did not expect--,' she began at the same time, chiming in with the tone of the other.

"But neither he nor she finished their remarks. The same rage that I had felt the previous week took possession of me. I felt the need of giving free course to my violence and 'the joy of wrath.'

"No, they did not finish. That other thing was going to begin, of which he was afraid, and was going to annihilate what they wanted to say. I threw myself upon her, still hiding the dagger, that he might not prevent me from striking where I desired, in her bosom, under the breast. At that moment he saw . . . and, what I did not expect on his part, he quickly seized my hand, and cried:

"'Come to your senses! What are you doing? Help! Help!'

"I tore my hands from his grasp, and leaped upon him. I must have been very terrible, for he turned as white as a sheet, to his lips. His eyes scintillated singularly, and--again what Idid not expect of him--he scrambled under the piano, toward the other room. I tried to follow him, but a very heavy weight fell upon my left arm. It was she.

"I made an effort to clear myself. She clung more heavily than ever, refusing to let go. This unexpected obstacle, this burden, and this repugnant touch only irritated me the more. I perceived that I was completely mad, that I must be frightful, and I was glad of it. With a sudden impulse, and with all my strength, Idealt her, with my left elbow, a blow squarely in the face.

"She uttered a cry and let go my arm. I wanted to follow the other, but I felt that it would be ridiculous to pursue in my stockings the lover of my wife, and I did not wish to be grotesque, I wished to be terrible. In spite of my extreme rage, I was all the time conscious of the impression that I was making upon others, and even this impression partially guided me.

"I turned toward her. She had fallen on the long easy chair, and, covering her face at the spot where I had struck her, she looked at me. Her features exhibited fear and hatred toward me, her enemy, such as the rat exhibits when one lifts the rat-trap.

At least, I saw nothing in her but that fear and hatred, the fear and hatred which love for another had provoked. Perhaps I still should have restrained myself, and should not have gone to the last extremity, if she had maintained silence. But suddenly she began to speak; she grasped my hand that held the dagger.

"'Come to your senses! What are you doing? What is the matter with you? Nothing has happened, nothing, nothing! I swear it to you!'

"I might have delayed longer, but these last words, from which Iinferred the contrary of what they affirmed,--that is, that EVERYTHING had happened,--these words called for a reply. And the reply must correspond to the condition into which I had lashed myself, and which was increasing and must continue to increase.

Rage has its laws.

"'Do not lie, wretch. Do not lie!' I roared.

"With my left hand I seized her hands. She disengaged herself.

Then, without dropping my dagger, I seized her by the throat, forced her to the floor, and began to strangle her. With her two hands she clutched mine, tearing them from her throat, stifling.

Then I struck her a blow with the dagger, in the left side, between the lower ribs.

"When people say that they do not remember what they do in a fit of fury, they talk nonsense. It is false. I remember everything.

I did not lose my consciousness for a single moment. The more Ilashed myself to fury, the clearer my mind became, and I could not help seeing what I did. I cannot say that I knew in advance what I would do, but at the moment when I acted, and it seems to me even a little before, I knew what I was doing, as if to make it possible to repent, and to be able to say later that I could have stopped.

同类推荐
  • 医述

    医述

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • Dickory Cronke

    Dickory Cronke

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • ON FRACTURES

    ON FRACTURES

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 樗隠集

    樗隠集

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 吴越春秋

    吴越春秋

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 奇门异行录

    奇门异行录

    人类最畏惧的并非财富、权力或者死亡,而是未知的事物。——方楚。
  • 彼时花开君不知

    彼时花开君不知

    有些人,终究会是心底隐秘角落里的暗恋;而有些人,才是陪你看完每一场花开花落的等待。花开曾以为,池郁会是她此生唯一的美好,隐藏在心底的角落里,然后随她一起慢慢消失。直到她遇见了周卿言——他几乎是突如其来地出现在她的生活里,还带着无数秘密。他的身份,她的身世,十多年前的灭门惨案与阴谋……真相一点点被揭开,曾经的那些安静美好的生活与她仿佛已隔着一世。当谎言和仇恨缓缓落幕,那颗爱情的种子也已在两人心中生根、发芽、开花。彼时尚有花开,君知否?
  • 90后也有过的春天

    90后也有过的春天

    一缕忧伤,错过了曾今,遐想笔露锋芒;一曲忧殇,尝过了苦涩,记忆里人海茫茫;他不借烈酒寻殃,只愿提起坚强金戈铁马醉倒边疆。错过了花芳花败,感动了一世浮萍,那也只是记忆渺茫,不是他孤傲寒霜,世道凄凉,君子跪求淑女,婀娜一走他方。环顾人海茫茫,脚步匆匆,一度才华卧入肚囊化作粪水污汤;知己失去了,信念一落千丈,即使水涨船高,也是无功无效白做一场,今世有子沫,来世木兰依我照样报国保疆。无情的现实似火焚烧也铮铮铁骨,踉踉跄跄,当年几度磨难。爱他的所有却最终看着他一次次在爱情的追逐中受伤,学习和奋斗齐趋,拼死拼活一份考卷一脸沧桑,一生的坚强只为改变落后不在为钱愁眉苦展焦躁荒凉。
  • 呐谁,请許我一世承诺!

    呐谁,请許我一世承诺!

    请你记住我说过的,“如果有一天,我的放手可以过得更好,哪怕会很痛,我可以放手成全你。”
  • 时间封印

    时间封印

    我是第一次写作品也不知道写些什么,不过我告诉你们,我更文会很慢,因为我才十三岁还要上学,大家不要急哦
  • 龙族Ⅲ:黑月之潮(中)

    龙族Ⅲ:黑月之潮(中)

    日本海沟深处发现龙类遗迹,卡塞尔王牌专员组恺撒、楚子航、路明非在身深潜过程中遭遇龙类袭击。三人组挣扎逃离险境,试图联络本部,却发现遭到整个日本分部的背叛与追杀。千鹤町街头,三人与暴走族赤备狭路相逢,掀起疯狂的对决。死里逃生后,三人流落到歌舞伎町著名牛郎店高天原,开始了牛郎生涯。与此同时,因日本分部的叛离,校长昂热孤身一人来到东京,与自己昔日的弟子犬山贺兵刃相见,卡塞尔学院与蛇岐八家彻底决裂……
  • 金牌狂妃

    金牌狂妃

    世人皆知,凤家大小姐凤妖娆胆小懦弱、胸无点墨、人人厌之。殊不知,一朝灵魂变换,迎来了二十一世纪的金牌杀手,腹黑、狡诈、睚眦必报如她,又怎么能放过那些伤害她的人呢!从此,世人言,“宁愿得罪阎罗王,也勿惹到凤妖娆。”,因为凤妖娆,就如同恶魔一般的存在,人人惧之。暖色新文【霸气穿越:暴王的鬼眼妃】
  • 荷塘月色

    荷塘月色

    《朱自清:荷塘月色》一书收录的都是朱自清最为经典的名篇佳作。其中“第一辑:人生·追忆似水年华”收录的是朱自清经典写人、叙事散文,其中不乏《背影》《阿河》这样的经典名篇;“第二辑:游思·荷塘月色”收录的大部分是写景抒情散文,例如大家耳熟能详的《春》《匆匆》《荷塘月色》;“第三辑:杂论·读书与做人”收录的是作者的杂文名篇,极具启发意义;“第四辑:旅欧·欧洲杂记”收录的是作者旅欧游记,既是游记,又是散文,情之所至,感人至深,篇篇经典。
  • 永恒的乐园

    永恒的乐园

    书中以报告文学的形式,收录了陈祖芬大量的作品,这些作品内容丰富,涉及面广,文笔生动亲和,具有较强的可读性。书中除收录了文字作品外,还配有大量生动风趣插图,画面简洁,寓意深刻。本书内容丰富,图文并茂,融理论性、知识性及可读性为一体,它不仅适合小朋友的阅读,同时对成年人来说也颇值得一读。
  • 如果没有你

    如果没有你

    15岁,孟海涛是《天鹅湖》中的王子,而11岁的伊恋只是四只小天鹅中最瘦小的一只。他们搭档12年,从舞蹈学院跳到了国际舞台,成了一流的芭蕾舞者。一场车祸后,他们失去了如日中天的舞蹈事业,却收获了患难与共的爱情。然而在远离舞蹈的日子里,他们的信念发生了分歧,爱情也日渐枯萎。没有孟海涛的伊恋成不了舞台上的公主,只能远走他乡,承受流言蜚语;没有伊恋的孟海涛更是被卷入一重又一重命运的漩涡,独自承受寂寞甚至死亡的威胁。12年青梅竹马的爱情和共同热爱的舞蹈事业能否使他们重新走到一起,生命在爱情面前能否创造出奇迹?如果没有你,我的生命无法完整;如果能有你,就让我们一起谱写我们的传奇……