登陆注册
5239300000092

第92章 OUR VESTRY(2)

Our Vestry is eminently parliamentary. Playing at Parliament is its favourite game. It is even regarded by some of its members as a chapel of ease to the House of Commons: a Little Go to be passed first. It has its strangers' gallery, and its reported debates (see the Sunday paper before mentioned), and our Vestrymen are in and out of order, and on and off their legs, and above all are transcendently quarrelsome, after the pattern of the real original.

Our Vestry being assembled, Mr. Magg never begs to trouble Mr. Wigsby with a simple inquiry. He knows better than that. Seeing the honourable gentleman, associated in their minds with Chumbledon Square, in his place, he wishes to ask that honourable gentleman what the intentions of himself, and those with whom he acts, may be, on the subject of the paving of the district known as Piggleum Buildings? Mr. Wigsby replies (with his eye on next Sunday's paper) that in reference to the question which has been put to him by the honourable gentleman opposite, he must take leave to say, that if that honourable gentleman had had the courtesy to give him notice of that question, he (Mr. Wigsby) would have consulted with his colleagues in reference to the advisability, in the present state of the discussions on the new paving-rate, of answering that question. But, as the honourable gentleman has NOT had the courtesy to give him notice of that question (great cheering from the Wigsby interest), he must decline to give the honourable gentleman the satisfaction he requires. Mr. Magg, instantly rising to retort, is received with loud cries of 'Spoke!' from the Wigsby interest, and with cheers from the Magg side of the house.

Moreover, five gentlemen rise to order, and one of them, in revenge for being taken no notice of, petrifies the assembly by moving that this Vestry do now adjourn; but, is persuaded to withdraw that awful proposal, in consideration of its tremendous consequences if persevered in. Mr. Magg, for the purpose of being heard, then begs to move, that you, sir, do now pass to the order of the day; and takes that opportunity of saying, that if an honourable gentleman whom he has in his eye, and will not demean himself by more particularly naming (oh, oh, and cheers), supposes that he is to be put down by clamour, that honourable gentleman - however supported he may be, through thick and thin, by a Fellow Parishioner, with whom he is well acquainted (cheers and counter-cheers, Mr. Magg being invariably backed by the Rate-Payer) - will find himself mistaken. Upon this, twenty members of our Vestry speak in succession concerning what the two great men have meant, until it appears, after an hour and twenty minutes, that neither of them meant anything. Then our Vestry begins business.

We have said that, after the pattern of the real original, our Vestry in playing at Parliament is transcendently quarrelsome. It enjoys a personal altercation above all things. Perhaps the most redoubtable case of this kind we have ever had - though we have had so many that it is difficult to decide - was that on which the last extreme solemnities passed between Mr. Tiddypot (of Gumption House) and Captain Banger (of Wilderness Walk).

In an adjourned debate on the question whether water could be regarded in the light of a necessary of life; respecting which there were great differences of opinion, and many shades of sentiment; Mr. Tiddypot, in a powerful burst of eloquence against that hypothesis, frequently made use of the expression that such and such a rumour had 'reached his ears.' Captain Banger, following him, and holding that, for purposes of ablution and refreshment, a pint of water per diem was necessary for every adult of the lower classes, and half a pint for every child, cast ridicule upon his address in a sparkling speech, and concluded by saying that instead of those rumours having reached the ears of the honourable gentleman, he rather thought the honourable gentleman's ears must have reached the rumours, in consequence of their well-known length. Mr. Tiddypot immediately rose, looked the honourable and gallant gentleman full in the face, and left the Vestry.

The excitement, at this moment painfully intense, was heightened to an acute degree when Captain Banger rose, and also left the Vestry.

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 拼搏创新,兴旺发达

    拼搏创新,兴旺发达

    事实上,所谓企业文化,是指企业在经营实践中形成的具有本企业特色的文化观念、文化形式和行为模式,它是理念形态文化、物质形态文化和制度行为文化的综合体。企业文化的激励作用是指企业文化本身所具有的通过各组成要素来激发员工动机与潜在能力的作用,属于精神激励的范畴。具体来说,企业文化能够满足员工的精神需要,调动员工的精神力量,使他们产生归属感、自尊感和成就感,从而充分发挥他们的巨大潜力。企业文化是否能产生它所应有的作用,最为关键的是员工对企业文化的理解和认同程度,一旦员工对企业文化产生了强烈的共鸣,那么企业文化的激励功能就具有持久性、整体性和全员性的特点和优势。我们看到,在盘锦兴达集团,这样的企业文化正在形成,我们也相信,有了这样的企业文化,盘锦兴达集团势必会开拓出更加广阔的发展空间,取得更加辉煌的业绩,为盘锦的发展,为辽宁的发展,做出巨大的贡献。
  • 智力闯关趣味百科(趣味智力测验百科)

    智力闯关趣味百科(趣味智力测验百科)

    本套丛书最大的特点是,标题提问简单明了,正文讲述精炼扼要,一问一答,相得益彰,详略得当,通俗易懂。正文还有趣味小版块,是对主要内容的适当补充、引申、扩展、点评、启发和引导等,用以开拓思维和引导知识,具有很强的启迪性。本套丛书涉及到少年儿童必须知道的许多知识领域,具有很强的系统性、实用性和现代性,是一套小小的百科全书,非常适合少年儿童阅读和收藏。
  • 最强狂妃

    最强狂妃

    【1v1互宠虐渣爽文,无虐无小三,小可爱们请放心食用!】她为天选之女,生来不凡,却因敛尽风华,被人视作废物,无情背叛;既如此,她便绽放绝世锋芒!从此,觉醒血脉,炼丹炼器,无所不能;驱龙驭凤,随心所欲;天下至尊,手到擒来!从此,她受万人敬仰,成为名副其实的最强狂妃!唯独那个不小心招惹到的冷邪冰帝,霸道无比,无处不在的爱她、护她、帮她……“真是的,被他如此对待,还怎么可能看得上别人?这个男人,可真狡猾!”
  • 西洋哲学史

    西洋哲学史

    《西洋哲学史》是李长之先生在抗日战争期间编著、向中国人介绍西方哲学史的著作,体例参考了法国人韦伯的《哲学史》,对西方哲学史上颇具研究性和争议性的哲学家做了简明的介绍。在融会贯通的基础上,对西方哲学史与中国哲学史有一定比较,表达了其写作时的“中国人的立场”,除了在体例上附以中国年代外,还将中西关键节点的人物的进行比较,这让当时对西方文化了解不深的文人很容易有代入感和亲切感,也便于现在的中西哲学文化研究。
  • 一世情深:嚣张萌妻不好惹

    一世情深:嚣张萌妻不好惹

    传言夜家大小姐心狠手辣,蛇蝎心肠,为了权势无所不用其极!传言夜家大小姐是夜家真正的掌权人,得夜大小姐就可得天下!传言,夜家大小姐……传言都只是传言,真相是什么,谁会关心!“想要报仇,我帮你,想要虐渣男我来动手,想要壮大你夜家势力我给你撑腰,只要你乖乖待在我身边……”他将她困在怀中,一如既往地玩世不恭。“想要让我听话,那就看你有没有这个能力,我想要得到的,不需要别人插手!”她笑的邪魅,却是撩拨着他所有的心弦……
  • 词论

    词论

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 炮灰女王玩大了

    炮灰女王玩大了

    虐恋情深少了情深,比翼双飞少了比翼鲍薇怎么也弄不明白了,明明是女王的命怎么就变炮灰了初恋攀龙附凤,行,人各有命,你走你的阳光道,我行我的独木桥情敌炫美炫富炫男友,好,你们郎才女貌天作之合可你沈先生又来胡搅蛮缠什么劲儿?!“我不是很漂亮”“嗯,我很帅”“我也不是很聪明”“晓得,我智商不低”“我工资也不高”“正好,我家财万贯”。爱情应该是一场无关任何外在的风花雪月,在你不经然的回眸间,他,悄然出现!【四海阁,爱是天时地利的迷信】
  • 观自在菩萨如意轮瑜伽念诵法

    观自在菩萨如意轮瑜伽念诵法

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 谠论集

    谠论集

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 火影忍者之逆天改命

    火影忍者之逆天改命

    因未知原因,保留着全部记忆的火影忍者忠实粉丝,穿越至火影忍者世界,成为了足以给世界带来变革的预言之子漩涡鸣人。 在幼年时,相识并接纳了未被灭族惨案,给扭曲了性格的宇智波佐助后,鸣人毅然改变了最初稳扎稳打、遵循原有历史发展轨迹行动的念想! 在体内已经完全互相信任的九尾妖狐九喇嘛帮助支持下,灭团藏、降大蛇丸、力战晓组织……与命运为敌,只为打破伙伴们的死亡宿命!欢迎加入①群,群号码:307685821