登陆注册
5247400000067

第67章 BOOK I(67)

"I am very sorry, Aunt Julia; I hate to trouble you at such a time; but I have really no choice--I ought to have spoken sooner--I owe a great deal more than a thousand dollars.""A great deal more? Do you owe two? She must have robbed you!""I told you it was not only Celeste. I--there are other bills--more pressing--that must be settled.""What on earth have you been buying? Jewelry? You must have gone off your head," said Mrs. Peniston with asperity. "But if you have run into debt, you must suffer the consequences, and put aside your monthly income till your bills are paid. If you stay quietly here until next spring, instead of racing about all over the country, you will have no expenses at all, and surely in four or five months you can settle the rest of your bills if I pay the dress-maker now."Lily was again silent. She knew she could not hope to extract even a thousand dollars from Mrs. Peniston on the mere plea of paying Celeste's bill: Mrs. Peniston would expect to go over the dress-maker's account, and would make out the cheque to her and not to Lily. And yet the money must be obtained before the day was over!

"The debts I speak of are--different--not like tradesmen's bills," she began confusedly; but Mrs. Peniston's look made her almost afraid to continue. Could it be that her aunt suspected anything? The idea precipitated Lily's avowal.

"The fact is, I've played cards a good deal--bridge; the women all do it; girls too--it's expected. Sometimes I've won--won a good deal--but lately I've been unlucky--and of course such debts can't be paid off gradually---"She paused: Mrs. Peniston's face seemed to be petrifying as she listened.

"Cards--you've played cards for money? It's true, then: when Iwas told so I wouldn't believe it. I won't ask if the other horrors I was told were true too; I've heard enough for the state of my nerves. When I think of the example you've had in this house! But I suppose it's your foreign bringing-up--no one knew where your mother picked up her friends. And her Sundays were a scandal--that I know."Mrs. Peniston wheeled round suddenly. "You play cards on Sunday?"Lily flushed with the recollection of certain rainy Sundays at Bellomont and with the Dorsets.

"You're hard on me, Aunt Julia: I have never really cared for cards, but a girl hates to be thought priggish and superior, and one drifts into doing what the others do. I've had a dreadful lesson, and if you'll help me out this time I promise you--"Mrs. Peniston raised her hand warningly. "You needn't make any promises: it's unnecessary. When I offered you a home I didn't undertake to pay your gambling debts.""Aunt Julia! You don't mean that you won't help me?""I shall certainly not do anything to give the impression that Icountenance your behaviour. If you really owe your dress-maker, Iwill settle with her--beyond that I recognize no obligation to assume your debts."Lily had risen, and stood pale and quivering before her aunt.

Pride stormed in her, but humiliation forced the cry from her lips: "Aunt Julia, I shall be disgraced--I--" But she could go no farther. If her aunt turned such a stony ear to the fiction of the gambling debts, in what spirit would she receive the terrible avowal of the truth?

"I consider that you ARE disgraced, Lily: disgraced by your conduct far more than by its results. You say your friends have persuaded you to play cards with them; well, they may as well learn a lesson too. They can probably afford to lose a little money--and at any rate, I am not going to waste any of mine in paying them. And now I must ask you to leave me--this scene has been extremely painful, and I have my own health to consider.

Draw down the blinds, please; and tell Jennings I will see no one this afternoon but Grace Stepney."Lily went up to her own room and bolted the door. She was trembling with fear and anger--the rush of the furies' wings was in her ears. She walked up and down the room with blind irregular steps. The last door of escape was closed--she felt herself shut in with her dishonour Suddenly her wild pacing brought her before the clock on the chimney-piece. Its hands stood at half-past three, and she remembered that Selden was to come to her at four. She had meant to put him off with a word--but now her heart leaped at the thought of seeing him. Was there not a promise of rescue in his love? As she had lain at Gerty's side the night before, she had thought of his coming, and of the sweetness of weeping out her pain upon his breast. Of course she had meant to clear herself of its consequences before she met him--she had never really doubted that Mrs. Peniston would come to her aid. And she had felt, even in the full storm of her misery, that Selden's love could not be her ultimate refuge; only it would be so sweet to take a moment's shelter there, while she gathered fresh strength to go on.

But now his love was her only hope, and as she sat alone with her wretchedness the thought of confiding in him became as seductive as the river's flow to the suicide. The first plunge would be terrible--but afterward, what blessedness might come! She remembered Gerty's words: "I know him--he will help you"; and her mind clung to them as a sick person might cling to a healing relic. Oh, if he really understood--if he would help her to gather up her broken life, and put it together in some new semblance in which no trace of the past should remain! He had always made her feel that she was worthy of better things, and she had never been in greater need of such solace. Once and again she shrank at the thought of imperilling his love by her confession: for love was what she needed--it would take the glow of passion to weld together the shattered fragments of her self-esteem. But she recurred to Gerty's words and held fast to them. She was sure that Gerty knew Selden's feeling for her, and it had never dawned upon her blindness that Gerty's own judgment of him was coloured by emotions far more ardent than her own.

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 我是暗黑小土著

    我是暗黑小土著

    一个15年前的老游戏,直到如今依然活跃着,那个世界究竟是怎样。暗黑的世界如果没有毁灭,那么若干年后又是怎样。暗黑世界一NPC与入侵的地球玩家互动后觉醒了,看他怎么周旋于地狱人类天堂等各势力之间,走出自己的强者之路……
  • 元和郡县图志

    元和郡县图志

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 白沙语录

    白沙语录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 转世龙皇传说

    转世龙皇传说

    因为一场意外不甘心逝世的我,在一股神秘的金光帮助下,夺舍了在神界还未孵化出的龙神,开始了异界逍遥之旅。
  • 杂货封神

    杂货封神

    正统简介:唐临有一个荷包,生成杂货,售卖杂货,花钱就能修炼,他觉得这挺好的。不正统简介:山巅云海间,白衣青年,手握光华流转的长剑,面对一位,身边站着两个小童的灰衣少年,“亮出你的宝器,咱们大战三百回合”灰衣少年抬手,站在他身边的小童,左边的粉嫩小姑娘,递上一把扫帚,右边的鼻涕小童,捧上一双草鞋,灰衣少年抬头,懒懒的道:“来”
  • 对你不仅仅是喜欢

    对你不仅仅是喜欢

    一场意外,将不相识的两人命运紧密捆绑,她却仓惶逃窜。五年后,风风火火回归……顾浅浅领着一位萌正太站在他面前:先生买儿子吗?赚的起钱,卖的了萌,完美的居家旅游必备之物哦,绝对划算!萌宝软软的凑上前来:Boss,买我回家吧,买我送妈咪哦!祁冥夜看着缩小版的自己,咆哮:女人,你竟然偷了我儿子!顾浅浅连忙抱起儿子,跑!
  • 无上皇宠

    无上皇宠

    墨色的眸子在黑夜里闪着暗淡的光,就像黑珍珠一样蒙着淡淡的霜,但那幽深珍珠里面却蕴藏着火苗,愤怒的随时要爆发出来,将眼前的一切烧个精光。就在她绝望的时候,忽然,一滴温热的液体滴落在了她早已冰冷的嘴角,让她将疼痛感受的更加彻底。液体慢慢的渗进千泠玥的嘴唇,咸涩的感觉直冲她的味觉,是眼泪?她静静的看着眼前这头发了狂的狮子,竟然渐渐忘记了身体剧烈的疼痛,不禁开始探究这个男人心中的愤怒,是什么让他这么折磨自己,是什么让他这么……痛苦。“既然你这么快乐,哭什么?”千泠玥朱唇轻启,而他面对着她的质疑,竟然慌了神色,眼神闪烁不定,不敢直视她的眼睛。
  • 最强神阶武魂

    最强神阶武魂

    叶峰意外穿越到一个陌生武道世界,天隆世界。没想到自己研发的无敌系统一同穿越,并且成为现实版。从此叶峰开辟绝世神阶武魂,一路横扫,傲战无敌。拳打天隆王尊,脚踏神魔仙皇!仙丹、遗迹、神通、法宝,系统在手,统统我有!
  • 青春无悔从未忘记我们的青春

    青春无悔从未忘记我们的青春

    从小便来到他身边的小女孩云落微,喜欢上了自己名义上的哥哥。十五岁那年的一次意外,让黎想失去了以前的记忆,他只记得落微是自己疼爱的妹妹,也让他遇见了另外的女孩,并且所谓的爱上了她。那次意外,是这场悲剧的开始…十八岁,本该是美好的年纪,她离开了这个城市,离开了他的身边。在云端上的爆炸,是这场故事的结束,也是另一场故事的开始。
  • 水灵

    水灵

    江宇文提着旅行袋,肩扛着一大捆的书籍,来到渔村里的小木屋,他不知自己会不会厌倦这里的单纯与孤寂,但至少可暂时拋却城市里复杂的感情纠缠,和那炙心的折磨……。云霏华厦、风铃、心香数朵、水灵……多篇精彩绝伦、感人至深的故事,值得您一一品赏……