Meanwhile,Mrs Partridge had spent a pleasant day conducting Chook's business on new lines.She had always suspected that she had a gift for business,and here was an opportunity to prove it.The first customer was a child,sent for three penn'orth of potatoes.As children are naturally careless,Mrs Partridge saw here an excellent opportunity for weeding out the stock,and went to a lot of trouble in picking out the small and damaged tubers,reserving the best for customers who came to choose for themselves.Five minutes later she was exchanging them for the largest in the sack under the direction of an infuriated mother.This flustered her slightly,and when Mrs Green arrived,complaining of rheumatic twinges in her leg,she decided to try Pinkey's sympathetic manner.
"Ah,if anybody knows what rheumatism is,I do,"she cried."For years Isuffered cruelly,an'then I was persuaded to carry a new pertater in me pocket,an'I've never 'ad ache or pain since;though gettin'cured,to my mind,depends on the sort of life you've led."Mrs Green,a woman with a past,flushed heavily.
"'Oo are yer slingin'off at?"she cried."You and yer new pertater.
I'd smack yer face for two pins,"and she walked out of the shop.
This made Mrs Partridge careful,and she served the next customers in an amazing silence.Then she dined royally on the pick of the ham-and-beef shop,and settled down for the afternoon.But she recovered her tongue when Mrs Paterson wanted some lettuce for a salad.
"Which I could never understand people eatin'salads,as I shall always consider bad for the stomach,an'descendin'to the lower animals,"she cried."Nothing could make me believe I was meant to eat vegetables raw when I can 'ave them boiled an'strained for 'alf an 'our."In her eagerness to convert Mrs Paterson to her views,she forgot to charge for the lettuce.When Chook and Pinkey arrived,she had partially destroyed the business,and was regretting that she had been too delicate to marry the greengrocer.She showed Chook the till bulging with copper and silver.
"Yer've done us proud,"cried Chook,staring.
Mrs Partridge sorted out ten shillings from the heap.
"That's Mrs Robins's account,"she remarked.
"Wot made 'er pay?"inquired Pinkey,suspiciously."Yer didn't go an'ask 'er for it,did yer?""Not likely,"said Mrs Partridge;"but when she complained of the peas bein'eighteenpence a peck,I pointed out that if she considered nothing too dear for 'er back,she should consider nothing too dear for 'er stomach,an'she ran 'ome to fetch this money an'nearly threw it in my face.""Me best customer,"cried Pinkey in dismay."She pays at the end of the month like clockwork."Mrs Partridge stared at the heap of silver,and changed the subject.
"It 'ud give me the creeps to sleep in the 'ouse with all that money,"she remarked,"after readin'in the paper as 'ow burglars are passionate fond of silver,an''avin'no reg'lar 'ours for callin',like to drop in when least expected."She noted with satisfaction that Pinkey changed colour,and shook the creases out of her skirt."Well,I must be goin',"she added."I never like to keep William waitin'for 'is tea."A cold wave swept over Chook.He had clean forgotten William,who would go home to Botany Street and find an empty house.Pinkey dived into the bedroom,and left Chook to face it out.
"'Ere's yer key,"he said helplessly,to make a beginning.
"This is my key,"said Mrs Partridge,feeling in her pocket,"an'the other one is under the flower-pot for William,if I'm out.I dunno what you mean.""I mean this is the key of yer new 'ouse in Surry Hills,"said Chook,fumbling hopelessly with the piece of iron.
"You've bin drinkin',an'the beer's gone to yer 'ead,"said Mrs Partridge,unwilling to take offence.
"I tell yer I'm as dry as a bone,"cried Chook,losing patience.
"Yer think yer live in Botany Street,but yer don't.Yer live in Foveaux Street,an'this is the key of the 'ouse.""I think I live in Botany Street,but I've moved to Foveaux Street,"repeated Mrs Partridge,but the words conveyed no meaning to her mind.
She came closer to Chook.He looked and smelt sober,and suddenly a horrid suspicion ran through her mind that her brain was softening.She was older than they thought,for she had taken five years off her age when she had married William.In an agony of fear she searched her memory for the events of the past month,trying to recall any symptom of illness that should have warned her.She could remember nothing,and turned to Chook with a wild fear in her eyes.Something must be wrong with him.
"Can you understand what you're sayin'?"she asked.
"Yes,"said Chook,anxious to get it over."Yer lived in Botany Street this morning,but yer moved to-day,an'now yer live in Foveaux Street in the 'ouse yer picked on Monday.""Do you expect me to believe that?"cried Mrs Partridge.
"No,"said Chook;"but yer will w'en yer go 'ome an'find your 'ouse empty.""An'who moved me?"
"Me an'Liz,"said Chook."The picnic wasn't till next week,an'Liz an'me thought we'd give yer a surprise."
For the first time in her life Mrs Partridge was speechless.She saw that she had been tricked shamefully.They had ransacked her house,and laid bare all the secrets of her little luxuries.She quailed as she remembered what they had found in the cupboard and the bottom drawer of the wardrobe.
Never again could she face Chook and Pinkey,knowing what they did,and take her pickings of the shop.Suddenly she recovered her tongue,and turned on Chook,transformed with rage.
"William will break every bone in yer body when 'e 'ears what you've done,"she cried,"mark my words.An'in case I never see yer again,let me tell yer somethin'that's been on my mind ever since I first met you.If that ginger-headed cat 'idin'behind the bedroom door 'adn't married yer,nobody else would,for you're that ugly it 'ud pay yer to grow whiskers an''ide yer face."And with this parting shot she marched out of the shop and disappeared in the darkness.
