"'Three, anyhow,' replied the witness, with feeling, 'though afterwards I thought there was a whole bench-show atop of me.'
"'Your witness,' said Coke.
"A murmur of applause went through the court-room, at which Apollyon frowned; but his face cleared in a moment when Catiline rose up.
"'My cross-examination of this witness, your honor, will be confined to one question.' Then turning to the witness he said, blandly: 'My poor friend, if you considered Cerberus to be three dogs anyhow, why did you in your examination a moment since refer to the avalanche of caninity, of which you so affectingly speak, as him?'
"'He is a him,' said the witness.
"'But if there were three, should he not have been a them?'
"Coke swore profanely beneath his breath, and the witness squirmed about in his chair, confused and broken, while both Judge Blackstone and Apollyon smiled broadly. Manifestly the point of the defence had pierced the armor of the plaintiff.
"'Your witness for re-direct,' said Catiline.
"'No thanks,' retorted Coke; 'there are others,' and, motioning to his first witness to step down, he called the second dog-catcher.
"'What is your business?' asked Coke, after the usual preliminary questions.
"'I'm out of business. Livin' on my damages,' said the witness.
"'What damages?' asked Coke.
"'Them I got from the city for injuries did me by that there--I should say them there--dorgs, Cerberus.'
"'Them there what?' persisted Coke, to emphasize the point.
"'Dorgs,' said the witness, convincingly--'D-o-r-g-s.'
"'Why s?' queried Coke. 'We may admit the r, but why the s?'
"'Because it's the pullural of dorg. Cerberus ain't any single-headed commission,' said the witness, who was something of a ward politician.
"'Why do you say that Cerberus is more than one dog?'
"Because I've had experience,' replied the witness. 'I've seen the time when he was everywhere all at once; that's why I say he's more than one dorg. If he'd been only one dorg he couldn't have been anywhere else than where he was.'
"'When was that?'
"'When I lassoed him.'
"'Him?' remonstrated Coke.
"'Yes,' said the witness. 'I only caught one of him, and then the other two took a hand.'
"'Ah, the other two,' said Coke. 'You know dogs when you see them?'
"'I do, and he was all of 'em in a bunch,' replied the witness.
"'Your witness,' said Coke.
"'My friend,' said Catiline, rising quietly. 'How many men are you?'
"'One, sir,' was the answer.
"'Have you ever been in two places at once?'
"'Yes, sir.'
"'When was that?'
"'When I was in jail and in London all at the same time.'
"'Very good; but were you in two places on the day of this attack upon you by Cerberus?'
"'No, sir. I wish I had been. I'd have stayed in the other place.'
"'Then if you were in but one place yourself, how do you know that Cerberus was in more than one place?'
"'Well, I guess if you--'
"'Answer the question,' said Catiline.
"'Oh, well--of course--'
"'Of course,' echoed Catiline. 'That's it, your honor; it is only "of course,"--and I rest my case. We have no witnesses to call. We have proven by their own witnesses that there is no evidence of Cerberus being more than one dog.'
"You ought to have heard the cheers as Catiline sat down," continued Boswell. "As for poor Coke, he was regularly knocked out, but he rose up to sum up his case as best he could. Blackstone, however, stopped him right at the beginning.
"'The counsel for the plaintiff might as well sit down,' he said, 'and save his breath. I've decided this case in favor of the defendant long ago. It is plain to every one that Cerberus is only one dog, in spite of his many talents and manifest ability to be in several places at once, and inasmuch as the tax which is sued for is merely a dog-tax and not a poll-tax, I must render judgment for the defendants, with costs. Next case.'
"And the city of Cimmeria was thrown out of court," concluded Boswell. "Interesting, eh?"
"Very," said I. "But how will this affect Blackstone? Isn't he a City Judge?"
"No," replied Boswell; "he was, but his term expired this morning, and this afternoon Apollyon appointed him Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of Hades."
