登陆注册
5265500000160

第160章 Chapter LXVII.

From this moment I am to be considered as heir-apparent to the Shandy family--and it is from this point properly, that the story of my Life and my Opinions sets out. With all my hurry and precipitation, I have but been clearing the ground to raise the building--and such a building do I foresee it will turn out, as never was planned, and as never was executed since Adam. In less than five minutes I shall have thrown my pen into the fire, and the little drop of thick ink which is left remaining at the bottom of my ink-horn, after it--I have but half a score things to do in the time--Ihave a thing to name--a thing to lament--a thing to hope--a thing to promise, and a thing to threaten--I have a thing to suppose--a thing to declare--a thing to conceal--a thing to choose, and a thing to pray for--This chapter, therefore, I name the chapter of Things--and my next chapter to it, that is, the first chapter of my next volume, if I live, shall be my chapter upon Whiskers, in order to keep up some sort of connection in my works.

The thing I lament is, that things have crowded in so thick upon me, that Ihave not been able to get into that part of my work, towards which I have all the way looked forwards, with so much earnest desire; and that is the Campaigns, but especially the amours of my uncle Toby, the events of which are of so singular a nature, and so Cervantick a cast, that if I can so manage it, as to convey but the same impressions to every other brain, which the occurrences themselves excite in my own--I will answer for it the book shall make its way in the world, much better than its master has done before it.--Oh Tristram! Tristram! can this but be once brought about--the credit, which will attend thee as an author, shall counterbalance the many evils will have befallen thee as a man--thou wilt feast upon the one--when thou hast lost all sense and remembrance of the other!--No wonder I itch so much as I do, to get at these amours--They are the choicest morsel of my whole story! and when I do get at 'em--assure yourselves, good folks--(nor do I value whose squeamish stomach takes offence at it) I shall not be at all nice in the choice of my words!--and that's the thing I have to declare.--I shall never get all through in five minutes, that I fear--and the thing I hope is, that your worships and reverences are not offended--if you are, depend upon't I'll give you something, my good gentry, next year to be offended at--that's my dear Jenny's way--but who my Jenny is--and which is the right and which the wrong end of a woman, is the thing to be concealed--it shall be told you in the next chapter but one to my chapter of Button-holes--and not one chapter before.

And now that you have just got to the end of these (According to the preceding Editions.) three volumes--the thing I have to ask is, how you feel your heads? my own akes dismally!--as for your healths, I know, they are much better.--True Shandeism, think what you will against it, opens the heart and lungs, and like all those affections which partake of its nature, it forces the blood and other vital fluids of the body to run freely through its channels, makes the wheel of life run long and cheerfully round.

Was I left, like Sancho Panca, to choose my kingdom, it should not be maritime--or a kingdom of blacks to make a penny of;--no, it should be a kingdom of hearty laughing subjects: And as the bilious and more saturnine passions, by creating disorders in the blood and humours, have as bad an influence, I see, upon the body politick as body natural--and as nothing but a habit of virtue can fully govern those passions, and subject them to reason--I should add to my prayer--that God would give my subjects grace to be as Wise as they were Merry; and then should I be the happiest monarch, and they are the happiest people under heaven.

And so with this moral for the present, may it please your worships and your reverences, I take my leave of you till this time twelve-month, when, (unless this vile cough kills me in the mean time) I'll have another pluck at your beards, and lay open a story to the world you little dream of.

End of the Second Volume.

Volume the Third.

Dixero si quid forte jocosius, hoc mihi juris Cum venia dabis.--Hor.

--Si quis calumnietur levius esse quam decet theologum, aut mordacius quam deceat Christianum--non Ego, sed Democritus dixit.--Erasmus.

Si quis Clericus, aut Monachus, verba joculatoria, risum moventia, sciebat, anathema esto. Second Council of Carthage.

To the Right Honorable John, Lord Viscount Spencer.

My Lord, I Humbly beg leave to offer you these two Volumes (Volumes V. and VI. in the first Edition.); they are the best my talents, with such bad health as I have, could produce:--had Providence granted me a larger stock of either, they had been a much more proper present to your Lordship.

I beg your Lordship will forgive me, if, at the same time I dedicate this work to you, I join Lady Spencer, in the liberty I take of inscribing the story of Le Fever to her name; for which I have no other motive, which my heart has informed me of, but that the story is a humane one.

I am, My Lord, Your Lordship's most devoted and most humble Servant, Laur. Sterne.

The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gent.

同类推荐
  • 物不迁正量证

    物不迁正量证

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 橐钥子

    橐钥子

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • The Memorabilia

    The Memorabilia

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 一切如来名号陀罗尼经

    一切如来名号陀罗尼经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 李侍郎使北录

    李侍郎使北录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 浅浅遇,轻爱

    浅浅遇,轻爱

    “抱歉艾艾,明天出国后我得和邻国国王晚宴后去见个女人,你要理解我这种不能按照自己的意思生活的人。”语气有些的冰冷,可脸上却又噙着笑意…“我还不够不理解你?呵,邻国国王最中意的女婿的生活我当然不能理解……”自己还没意识到自己说出来的这段话醋味有多浓,正要继续说下去,夏冰艾被推倒在床上,唇即被吻住,唇角被啃咬了下,发出“嗯~”的声音,眼角已不自觉的流了泪。“你还没问我是哪国的呢?”“哪国的?”是不是傻啊,叫你问你就问啊,后知后觉的夏冰艾恨不得咬断自己的舌头。“D国。” 夏冰艾听到后瞬间瞪大了眼,顾连辰似乎很满意她的诧异,接着说“D国王女,在华国躲了十几年了,是时候该回去看看了吧……
  • 中国非营利组织法专家建议稿

    中国非营利组织法专家建议稿

    《中华人民共和国非营利组织法》专家建议稿的起草,历时多年,征求各方意见,终成此稿。书中以保护公民结社自由、规范非营利组织的发展、规范政府的监管活动为出发点,对各种非营利组织的设立、变更、组织结构、财产、组织监管、法律责任等进行了细致规范,对学界争议较多的管理体制问题、涉外非营利组织的问题、政府支持、许可主义与准则主义的问题等进行了梳理和论证。
  • 置酒行

    置酒行

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 穿越本色,宠妃难控制

    穿越本色,宠妃难控制

    崔扇希在一次登山时,遇到上仙胡得仙,她被胡得仙赋予使命,目的是到昭陵国接近太子安凌映,并在月食之日取得龙心。胡得仙告诉她,在她魂穿后,命运会安排三个男人爱上她,而他们将有助于她得到龙心。并且这第一个男人会为她而死,第二个男人会为她而疯,而第三个男人则会为她献上心......【情节虚构,请勿模仿】
  • 他从暖风来

    他从暖风来

    三年前,‘建筑铁军’龙建集团成功中标国家援非重点工程索洛托AS63公路项目。集团第一位女性项目经理,业务能力超卓的高冷女王长安被派驻到索洛托共和国工作。一晃三年过去,被当地人寄予厚望的‘和平之路’竣工前夕,索洛托却爆发大规模的政治骚乱,中国维和步兵营协助联合国维稳,长安到政府交涉在建工路事宜,回程竟遭遇武装分子挟持,千钧一发之际,中国维和官兵将她成功解救。进入封闭的战车内,长安一眼就看到全副武装的严臻正虎视眈眈地瞪着她……气场两米八的职场女魔头VS铁骨铮铮‘蓝盔’战士,看他们在广袤迷人的非洲大陆上如何演绎一段荡气回肠的爱情神话。世人谓我恋长安,惟愿盛世长安。一带一路援非建设破镜重圆现实向
  • 梦想还是要有的,万一实现了呢!

    梦想还是要有的,万一实现了呢!

    马云在纽交所敲响上市钟前穿的T恤前后各写着一句话,这两句话是:“梦想是一定要有的”、“万一实现了呢?”很多人也有梦想,也为梦想打拼,而打拼了多年,可离梦想成真的日子却渐行渐远。于是,很多人累了,倦了,困惑了,迷茫了……是选择坚持梦想,还是选择放弃?是向左还是向右?如果你有梦想,心中却有些许的迷茫、困惑,那么,就多读一下我们的《梦想还是要有的,万一实现了呢!》。本书从各个层面,不同角度,向大读者解读了树立梦想的必要性与重要性,并向读者朋友提供了实现梦想的一些锦囊妙计与各种智慧。本书如春天的明媚阳光,给有梦想的人,不尽的温暖,它如寒冬的一把紫泥炉火,给有梦想的人不竭的动力与能量。
  • 被穿成了攻略目标肿么破

    被穿成了攻略目标肿么破

    对于程序员中顶级大神陈晨而言,最恐怖的不是被迫穿越了一个又一个世界。最恐怖的是在每一个世界里总有那么一个人或一群人想要对他进行各种花样攻略。作为程序猿大神,陈晨只得三十六计齐上阵,被迫每天演“宫斗”。是不给他们攻略呢?还是不给他们攻略呢?程序猿大大哭唧唧,持续泪奔中:被穿成了攻略目标肿么破?
  • 猎头对对碰:只想当敌人

    猎头对对碰:只想当敌人

    猎头,这个至今仍然让人感觉神秘的行业,却始终让外界对它充满误解。猎头公司之间的战争向来残酷,而此书中的男女主角却偏偏工作在这样一个战场般的环境里,成为劲敌。本书讲述了一双敌对男女从经历了爱情和友情的背叛,公司高层的有意打压,由敌人升级到情人的一路坎坷,揭密了猎头公司是如何伸展手段找到合作者与候选人,如何在行业里头奋力拼杀……
  • 西游记(语文新课标课外读物)

    西游记(语文新课标课外读物)

    由于许多世界文学名著卷帙浩繁,而广大中、小学生时间又有限,我们便在参考和借鉴以前译本许多优点和长处的基础上,在忠实原著的基础上进行了高度浓缩,保持了原著的梗概和精华,使之便于我们全面而轻松地阅读。为了全面提高广大中小学生的知识基础,培养阅读的兴趣和爱好,这套课外读物还收编了大家喜闻乐见的广博知识,把阅读名著与掌握知识结合起来,扩大阅读的深度和范围,这正是设计本套读物的最大特色。因此,本套课外读物有着极强的广泛性、知识性、阅读性、趣味性和基础性,是广大中小学生阅读和收藏的最佳版本。
  • 致命诱宠:替身娇妻,深入爱!

    致命诱宠:替身娇妻,深入爱!

    在外人眼里,他是呼风唤雨的南风少爷,为了把她永远留在身边,他无所不用其极,唯独不敢霸王硬上弓。朋友甲:“女人大都对名牌情有独钟,她要什么你就给她买什么呗。”某男郁闷至极:“你说得大都恰好不包括她!”朋友乙:“每个女孩心里都有个公主梦,你要把她当公主宠。”某男欲哭:“她已经被我宠成女王。”她一直以为自己只是个替身,殊不知,他早有图谋……