I thank you, you swinged me for my love, which makes me the bolder to chide you for yours. VALENTINE In conclusion, I stand affected to her. SPEED I would you were set, so your affection would cease. VALENTINE Last night she enjoined me to write some lines to one she loves. SPEED And have you? VALENTINE I have. SPEED Are they not lamely writ? VALENTINE No, boy, but as well as I can do them.
Peace! here she comes. SPEED [Aside] O excellent motion! O exceeding puppet!
Now will he interpret to her.
Enter SILVIA VALENTINE Madam and mistress, a thousand good-morrows. SPEED [Aside] O, give ye good even! here's a million of manners. SILVIA Sir Valentine and servant, to you two thousand. SPEED [Aside] He should give her interest and she gives it him. VALENTINE As you enjoin'd me, I have writ your letter Unto the secret nameless friend of yours;
Which I was much unwilling to proceed in But for my duty to your ladyship. SILVIA I thank you gentle servant: 'tis very clerkly done. VALENTINE Now trust me, madam, it came hardly off;
For being ignorant to whom it goes I writ at random, very doubtfully. SILVIA Perchance you think too much of so much pains? VALENTINE No, madam; so it stead you, I will write Please you command, a thousand times as much;
And yet-- SILVIA A pretty period! Well, I guess the sequel;
And yet I will not name it; and yet I care not;
And yet take this again; and yet I thank you, Meaning henceforth to trouble you no more. SPEED [Aside] And yet you will; and yet another 'yet.' VALENTINE What means your ladyship? do you not like it? SILVIA Yes, yes; the lines are very quaintly writ;
But since unwillingly, take them again.
Nay, take them. VALENTINE Madam, they are for you. SILVIA Ay, ay: you writ them, sir, at my request;
But I will none of them; they are for you;
I would have had them writ more movingly. VALENTINE Please you, I'll write your ladyship another. SILVIA And when it's writ, for my sake read it over, And if it please you, so; if not, why, so. VALENTINE If it please me, madam, what then? SILVIA Why, if it please you, take it for your labour:
And so, good morrow, servant.
Exit SPEED O jest unseen, inscrutable, invisible, As a nose on a man's face, or a weathercock on a steeple!
My master sues to her, and she hath taught her suitor, He being her pupil, to become her tutor.
O excellent device! was there ever heard a better, That my master, being scribe, to himself should write the letter? VALENTINE How now, sir? what are you reasoning with yourself? SPEED Nay, I was rhyming: 'tis you that have the reason. VALENTINE To do what? SPEED To be a spokesman for Madam Silvia. VALENTINE To whom? SPEED To yourself: why, she wooes you by a figure. VALENTINE What figure? SPEED By a letter, I should say. VALENTINE Why, she hath not writ to me? SPEED What need she, when she hath made you write to yourself? Why, do you not perceive the jest? VALENTINE No, believe me. SPEED No believing you, indeed, sir. But did you perceive her earnest? VALENTINE She gave me none, except an angry word. SPEED Why, she hath given you a letter. VALENTINE That's the letter I writ to her friend. SPEED And that letter hath she delivered, and there an end. VALENTINE I would it were no worse. SPEED I'll warrant you, 'tis as well:
For often have you writ to her, and she, in modesty, Or else for want of idle time, could not again reply;
Or fearing else some messenger that might her mind discover, Herself hath taught her love himself to write unto her lover.
All this I speak in print, for in print I found it.
Why muse you, sir? 'tis dinner-time. VALENTINE I have dined. SPEED Ay, but hearken, sir; though the chameleon Love can feed on the air, I am one that am nourished by my victuals, and would fain have meat. O, be not like your mistress; be moved, be moved.
