The tyrant Borck was inexorable; he wished to expedite my death, and rid himself of his troubles and his terrors. Here did I experience what was the lamentable condition of a sick prisoner, without bed, refreshment, or aid from human being. Reason, fortitude, heroism, all the noble qualities of the mind, decay when the corporal faculties are diseased; and the remembrance of my sufferings, at this dreadful moment, still agitates, still inflames my blood, so as almost to prevent an attempt to describe what they were.
Yet hope had not totally forsaken me. Deliverance seemed possible, especially should peace ensue; and I sustained, perhaps, what mortal man never bore, except myself, being, as I was, provided with pistols, or any such immediate mode of despatch.
I continued ill about two months, and was so reduced at last that Ihad scarcely strength to lift the water-jug to my mouth. What must the sufferings of that man be who sits two months on the bare ground in a dungeon so damp, so dark, so horrible, without bed or straw, his limbs loaded as mine were, with no refreshment but dry ammunition bread, without so much as a drop of broth, without physic, without consoling friend, and who, under all these afflictions, must trust, for his recovery, to the efforts of nature alone Sickness itself is sufficient to humble the mightiest mind; what, then, is sickness, with such an addition of torment? The burning fever, the violent headaches, my neck swelled and inflamed with the irons, enraged me almost to madness. The fever and the fetters together flayed my body so that it appeared like one continued wound--Enough! Enough! The malefactor extended living on the wheel, to whom the cruel executioner refuses the last stroke--the blow of death--must yet, in some short period, expire: he suffers nothing I did not then suffer; and these, my excruciating pangs, continued two dreadful months--Yet, can it be supposed? There came a day! A day of horror, when these mortal pangs were beyond imagination increased. I sat scorched with this intolerable fever, in which nature and death were contending; and when attempting to quench my burning entrails with cold water, the jug dropped from my feeble hands, and broke! I had four-and-twenty hours to remain without water. So intolerable, so devouring was my thirst, I could have drank human blood! Ay, in my madness, had it been the blood of my father!
* * * * * *
Willingly would I have seized my pistols, but strength had forsaken me, I could not open the place I was obliged to render so secure.
My visitors next day supposed me gone at last. I lay motionless, with my tongue out of my mouth. They poured water down my throat, and I revived.
Oh, God! Oh, God! How pure, how delicious, how exquisite was this water! My insatiable thirst soon emptied the jug; they filled it anew, bade me farewell, hoped death would soon relieve my mortal sufferings, and departed.
The lamentable state in which I lay at length became the subject of general conversation, that all the ladies of the town united with the officers, and prevailed on the tyrant, Borck, to restore me my bed.
Oh, Nature, what are thy operations? From the day I drank water in such excess I gathered strength, and to the astonishment of every one, soon recovered. I had moved the heart of the officer who inspected my prison; and after six months, six cruel months of intense misery, the day of hope again began to dawn.
One of the majors of the day entrusted his key to Lieutenant Sonntag, who came alone, spoke in confidence, and related his own situation, complained of his debts, his poverty, his necessities;and I made him a present of twenty-five louis-d'ors, for which he was so grateful that our friendship became unshaken.
The three lieutenants all commiserated me, and would sit hours with me, when a certain major had the inspection; and he himself, after a time, would even pass half the day with me. He, too, was poor: and I gave him a draft for three thousand florins; hence new projects took birth.
Money became necessary; I had disbursed all I possessed, a hundred florins excepted, among the officers. The eldest son of Captain K-, who officiated as major, had been cashiered: his father complained to me of his distress, and I sent him to my sister, not far from Berlin, from whom he received a hundred ducats. He returned and related her joy at hearing from me. He found her exceedingly ill; and she informed me, in a few lines, that my misfortunes, and the treachery of Weingarten, had entailed poverty upon her, and an illness which had endured more than two years. She wished me a happy deliverance from my chains, and, in expectation of death, committed her children to my protection. She, however, grew better, and married a second time, Colonel Pape; but died in the year 1758. I shall forbear to relate her history: it indeed does no honour to the ashes of Frederic, and would but less dispose my own heart to forgiveness, by reviving the memory of her oppressions and griefs.
K-n returned happy with the money: all things were concerted with the father. I wrote to the Countess Bestuchef, also to the Grand Duke, afterwards Peter III., recommended the young soldier, and entreated every possible succour for myself.
K-n departed through Hamburg, for Petersburg, where, in consequence of my recommendation, he became a captain, and in a short time major. He took his measures so well that I, by the intervention of his father, and a Hamburg merchant, received two thousand rubles from the Countess, while the service he rendered me made his own fortune in Russia.
