登陆注册
5362600000316

第316章

This faggoting up of so many divers pieces is so done that I never set pen to paper but when I have too much idle time, and never anywhere but at home; so that it is compiled after divers interruptions and intervals, occasions keeping me sometimes many months elsewhere. As to the rest, I never correct my first by any second conceptions; I, peradventure, may alter a word or so, but 'tis only to vary the phrase, and not to destroy my former meaning. I have a mind to represent the progress of my humours, and that every one may see each piece as it came from the forge.

I could wish I had begun sooner, and had taken more notice of the course of my mutations. A servant of mine whom I employed to transcribe for me, thought he had got a prize by stealing several pieces from me, wherewith he was best pleased; but it is my comfort that he will be no greater a gainer than I shall be a loser by the theft. I am grown older by seven or eight years since I began; nor has it been without same new acquisition: I have, in that time, by the liberality of years, been acquainted with the stone: their commerce and long converse do not well pass away without some such inconvenience. I could have been glad that of other infirmities age has to present long-lived men withal, it had chosen some one that would have been more welcome to me, for it could not possibly have laid upon me a disease for which, even from my infancy, I have had so great a horror; and it is, in truth, of all the accidents of old age, that of which I have ever been most afraid. I have often thought with myself that I went on too far, and that in so long a voyage I should at last run myself into some disadvantage; I perceived, and have often enough declared, that it was time to depart, and that life should be cut off in the sound and living part, according to the surgeon's rule in amputations; and that nature made him pay very strict usury who did not in due time pay the principal. And yet I was so far from being ready, that in the eighteen months' time or thereabout that I have been in this uneasy condition, I have so inured myself to it as to be content to live on in it; and have found wherein to comfort myself, and to hope: so much are men enslaved to their miserable being, that there is no condition so wretched they will not accept, provided they may live! Hear Maecenas:

"Debilem facito manu, Debilem pede, coxa, Lubricos quate dentes;

Vita dum superest, bene est."

["Cripple my hand, foot, hip; shake out my loose teeth: while there's life, 'tis well."--Apud Seneca, Ep., 101.]

And Tamerlane, with a foolish humanity, palliated the fantastic cruelty he exercised upon lepers, when he put all he could hear of to death, to deliver them, as he pretended, from the painful life they lived. For there was not one of them who would not rather have been thrice a leper than be not. And Antisthenes the Stoic, being very sick, and crying out, "Who will deliver me from these evils?" Diogenes, who had come to visit him, "This," said he, presenting him a knife, "soon enough, if thou wilt."--"I do not mean from my life," he replied, "but from my sufferings." The sufferings that only attack the mind, I am not so sensible of as most other men; and this partly out of judgment, for the world looks upon several things as dreadful or to be avoided at the expense of life, that are almost indifferent to me: partly, through a dull and insensible complexion I have in accidents which do not point-blank hit me; and that insensibility I look upon as one of the best parts of my natural condition; but essential and corporeal pains I am very sensible of. And yet, having long since foreseen them, though with a sight weak and delicate and softened with the long and happy health and quiet that God has been pleased to give me the greatest part of my time, I had in my imagination fancied them so insupportable, that, in truth, I was more afraid than I have since found I had cause: by which I am still more fortified in this belief, that most of the faculties of the soul, as we employ them, more trouble the repose of life than they are any way useful to it.

I am in conflict with the worst, the most sudden, the most painful, the most mortal, and the most irremediable of all diseases; I have already had the trial of five or six very long and very painful fits; and yet I either flatter myself, or there is even in this state what is very well to be endured by a man who has his soul free from the fear of death, and of the menaces, conclusions, and consequences which physic is ever thundering in our ears; but the effect even of pain itself is not so sharp and intolerable as to put a man of understanding into rage and despair. I have at least this advantage by my stone, that what I could not hitherto prevail upon myself to resolve upon, as to reconciling and acquainting myself with death, it will perfect; for the more it presses upon and importunes me, I shall be so much the less afraid to die. I had already gone so far as only to love life for life's sake, but my pain will dissolve this intelligence; and God grant that in the end, should the sharpness of it be once greater than I shall be able to bear, it does not throw me into the other no less vicious extreme to desire and wish to die!

"Summum nec metuas diem, nec optes:"

["Neither to wish, nor fear to die." (Or:)

"Thou shouldest neither fear nor desire the last day."--Martial, x. 7.] they are two passions to be feared; but the one has its remedy much nearer at hand than the other.

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 嫡女医妃:王爷真绝色

    嫡女医妃:王爷真绝色

    宋太傅的女儿,嫡出但不受重视,宋府四小姐,母亲在生自己的时候被下药难产而死,原本被人陷害略显痴傻,女主穿越到她身上后改变了一切,性格开朗,聪明伶俐,渴望亲情,用情专一,医术高明专治各种疑难杂症,对感情反应略迟钝。--情节虚构,请勿模仿
  • 许小姐,你是我的药

    许小姐,你是我的药

    一场意外,她莫名出现在了他的面前。每天要做的,就是接受新鲜事物,还有某男时不时的在她面前刷刷存在感。某天,看着某女怀孕的化验单。裴亦是说:“以后不用他家东西了,不靠谱。”许言弱弱开口:“那个,是我扎破的。”裴亦是:“……”
  • 娶妻不取贤

    娶妻不取贤

    芳华系列之一:“乔南木,你应该知道的娶妻娶贤,纳妾纳色,我自认是贤妻,你也可以去纳你的娇妾,我们互不干涉,这个婚姻对你来说是最好的选择!”杨思存坐在桌子的另一边如谈判一样谈着婚姻。这个世界上有着浪子回头这种事吗?什么样的女人能够终结种马的生活呢?乔南木说,浪子回头也还是浪子!杨思存说,爱上种马的女人是自取其辱,何必何苦!但是有时候生活远比戏剧更加的戏剧。当一个浪子兼种马爱上一个万分鄙视这两种动物的才女兼美女时,你猜谁先低头呢?我不知道!你知道吗?我的空间已经开通了,如果你有空不妨来坐坐吧:http://m.wkkk.net/1900433推荐一下我的文文:【他来自大唐】一个关于大唐的大侠来到今天的故事,很有趣的!又安的新文已开:【相亲九十九次】是娶贤一个系列的,写的是董欣的故事!好友张小艾的文文:【红楼遗梦】好友恋醉的文文:【孽后】
  • 医锦还乡

    医锦还乡

    穿越就穿越吧,也没要直接穿越到战场里边来的。她不要当军医官,也不要什么功名。一边哀叹着,却发现想要过平常安稳的农家生活,就必须先帮大军打赢这场战争……那至少……让她从战场里拐个汉子带走呗?【和氏璧及以上打赏会有加更】
  • 穿越铠甲之我是蛟龙

    穿越铠甲之我是蛟龙

    一觉醒来,林凡竟然发现自己穿越到了五行铠甲世界里面,不仅如此自己还成为了一名异能兽,还能够吞噬其他铠甲,这下爽歪歪了!吊打异能兽,掌控暗影界,吊打铠甲勇士!打爆铠甲勇士,吸收炼化。(本故事及人物纯属虚构,如有雷同,纯属巧合,切勿模仿。)
  • 告诉你一个诺贝尔的故事

    告诉你一个诺贝尔的故事

    本书从诺贝尔的儿时开始写起,生动地讲述了诺贝尔这位传奇人物充满了非凡的戏剧性和悲剧性的一生,旨在让广大青少年了解这位发明家和企业家不平凡的人生经历及伟大的人格。
  • 情挑黑色女王(全本)

    情挑黑色女王(全本)

    原名《如果幸福是一道微光》酒吧内,感觉到身后的目光,转身,递上一杯蓝色妖姬,邪魅一笑:“如此看我,有想法?”。她微微一怔,狡黠笑道:“是啊!我想泡你!”。酒店内,黑夜迷情,几度缠绵,谁也看不清自己。再见,她由小记者变身夜总会当家花魁,而他却是玩世不恭的太子爷……什么?她接近他只为收集证据?什么?他接近她只为保护她?到底,是谁保护谁,是谁为谁在这个黑夜沉沦?当迷雾层层剥开,那是一种怎样的痛....PS:谨以此文献给依然相信爱与梦想的善良人们!
  • 我被关在森林动物园:周锐幽默童话

    我被关在森林动物园:周锐幽默童话

    《我被关在森林动物园:周锐幽默童话》是著名儿童文学作家周锐的经典童话集。收录了《黑底红字》《宋街》《酿酒人》《我被关在森林动物园》《电话大串线》《谁拿嫉妒金牌》等三十多篇获奖童话。《双A机器人》获《少年月刊》1988年征文奖,《森林手记》获《儿童文学》龙年童话诗歌大奖赛二等奖,《炒命》获《东方少年》1997年儿童小说、童话征文奖,《出窍》获第二十届陈伯吹儿童文学大奖、第六届全国少儿图书奖二等奖,《B我消灭A我》获台湾国语日报第四届儿童文学牧笛奖、台湾2001年“好书大家读”最佳少年儿童读物奖。
  • 心芯相印

    心芯相印

    作者在书中叙述了自己艰辛的童年生活、成长过程以及如何走上航空事业道路的历程,进而成为企业、事业单位的高层有效管理者。书中有不少篇幅再现了作者传奇般的经历。本书文字朴素、语言通俗、内容真实、感情丰富。适合青少年、航空工业从业人员及企事业单位的管理人员阅读参考。
  • 帝少追妻:腹黑老公缠上门

    帝少追妻:腹黑老公缠上门

    欧阳翰庭,炙手可热的钻石人物,黑暗中的帝王!在他的世界里,但凡他想要的就没有得不到的!他以为,这世上,只有他征服一切,没有什么可以征服他,直到遇见一个叫做夏羽沫的女人……夏羽沫:“我要衣服要鞋子要名牌包!”“可以”欧阳翰廷看着手里的文件头也不抬。“我要项链要戒指要宝石!”“没问题!”欧阳翰廷依然盯着文件目不转睛;夏羽沫咬牙“我要股票要债券要期权”“好啊!”欧阳翰廷云谈风轻。夏羽沫戳着手指小心翼翼,“我要离婚找男人!”“男人何须离婚找,我不就在你面前?”欧阳翰廷抬眼,起身,剥光,推倒所有动作一气呵成……