"Among other weaknesses this Todd imports from the States is, he's afraid of snakes.Rattlesnakes is his abhorrence, an' if each is a disembodied sperit he can't want 'em further off.He's allers alarmed that mebby, somehow, a rattlesnake will come pokin' in onder his blankets nights, an' camp with him while he's asleep.An' this yere wretched Jaybird fosters them delusions.
"'About them serpents,' I overhears Jaybird say to him one evenin'
while we-alls is settin' 'round;--all but Moore an' Tutt, who's ridin' herd; ''bout them serpents; a gent can't be too partic'lar.
It looks like they has but one hope, which it's to crawl into a gent's blankets an' sleep some with him.Which, if he moves or turns over, they simply emits a buzz an' grabs him I knows of forty folks who's bit that a-way by snakes, an' nary a one lives to explain the game.'
"'Be rattlesnakes thick in Arizona?' I hears Todd say to this Jaybird.
"'Be they thick?' answers Jaybird.'Well, I shore wishes I had whiskey for all the rattlesnakes thar is yereabouts.I don't want to go overstatin' the census to a gent who is out playin' for information, an' who's learnin' fast, but I s'pose now thar ain't none less than a billion snakes in southeast Arizona alone.If Icould saw off the little passel of cattle I has on this range, you can gamble I'd pull my freight to-morrow.It's all right for sech old Cimmarons as Enright, an' sech parties as that sawbones Peets, to go bluffin' about thar' bein' no rattlesnakes to speak of, an'
that they couldn't p'ison you to death no how; but you bet I ain't seen forty of my nearest friends cash in of snake-bites, an' not learn nothin'.An' almost every time it's a rattlesnake as comes slidin' into bed with 'em while they's locked in dreams, an' who gets hot an' goes to chewin' of 'em, because they wants to turn out before the snake does.Rattlesnakes that a-way wants to sleep till it's fourth-drink time an' the sun's 'way up yonder.An' when a gent goes to rollin' out of his blankets say at sun-up, it makes 'em monstrous angry to be disturbed; an' the first he knows of where they be an' how they looks on early risin', their teeth's in him up to the gyard, an' before night thar's one less gent to cook for, an'
an extra saddle rides along in the grub-wagon with the blankets when they next moves camp.'
"Of course all this is a heap impressive to Todd; an' while Enright an' Peets both tells him Jaybird's havin' fun with him, you can see he's mortal afraid every night when he spreads his blankets, an' he makes a cirele about where he sleeps at with a horse-ha'r lariat he's got from a Mexican, an' who tells him it'll tickle the snakes'
necks when they goes to crawl across it, an' make 'em keep away.
"The way this yere Jaybird manages to stampede the bunch that time is this a-way.Jaybird comes ridin' in from the cattle about three hours before sun-up, to turn out Tutt, who is due to take his place on herd.Jaybird's got a rawhide rope that he's drugged about in the grass, which makes it damp an' cold.As Jaybird rides up to camp he sees this Todd rolled in his blankets, snorin' to beat four of a kind.
"Nacherally Jaybird's out to be joyous in a second.He rides up close to this he'pless shorthorn as he lays asleep, an' tosses a loop of his wet rawhide across his countenance where it's turned up in the moonlight.As it settles down cold an' startlin' on Todd's skin, Jaybird yells:
"Snake, Todd! Thar's a rattlesnake on you bigger'n a dog.'
"Jaybird says later as how this Todd behaves tremendous.He b'iles up into the atmosphere with a howl like a wolf; an', grabbin' a blanket in each hand, he starts out over the plains in a state of frenzy.Which the worst is he charges headlong toward the herd; an'
what with them shrieks he volunteers, an' the blankets flappin' an'
wavin', thar ain't a cow in the bunch who stays in her right mind a moment.Which she springs to her feet, an takin' her offspring along, goes surgin' off into the hills for good.You couldn't head or stop 'em then.It's the completest case of stampede I ever turns out to behold.
"No; this yere Todd never gathers the rights of the eepisode.He's that peevish an' voylent by nacher no one tells him it's Jaybird;an' onless, in the light of knowin' more, he has since figgered out the trooth, he allows to this day a rattlesnake as big as a roll of blankets tries to recline on his face that time.
"To keep peace in camp an' not let him go to pawin' 'round for real trouble with the festive Jaybird, Enright stands in to cap the game himse'f; an' puts it up in confab with this Todd the next day as how he sees the rattlesnake, an' that it's mighty near bein' a whopper.
"'It's shore,' says Enright, when he an' Todd is conversin' tharon, 'the most giant serpent I ever sees without the aid of licker.An'
when he goes streakin' off into the gloom, bein' amazed an' rattled by your cries, he leaves, so far as I'm concerned, a trail of relief behind.You-all can gamble, I wasn't interruptin' of no sech snake, nor makin' of no pretexts for his detainment.
"'What for was his rattles like?' says Todd; an' he gets pale at the mere sound of Enright's talk.
"'As to them rattles,' says Enright, like he's mighty thoughtful tryin' to recall 'em to mind, 'as to this reptile's rattles, it's that dark that while I sees 'em I couldn't but jest.So far as Inotes anythin' they looks like a belt full of car-tridges, sorter corrugated an' noomerous.
"Now this yere which I relates, while no doubt burnin' experiences to Todd, is after all harmless enough.An' to people not careful about the basis of their glee it might do some to laugh at.But it all closes up on a play with nothin' gay nor merry in it; leastwise not for Jaybird Bob.
