登陆注册
5382700000049

第49章

"My God!" he thought, appalled; "is it possible that I have not got to the bottom of this question?" And, turning his back on the audience, he gazed in a sort of agony at the figure of Nelson towering into the sky above him.He was about to cry out piteously: "Countrymen, I know not what I think.Oh! I am unhappy!" when he inadvertently stepped back over the edge of the plinth, and, still entangled in the flag, was picked up by two policemen and placed in a dazed condition and a deserted spot opposite the National Gallery.

It was while he was standing there, encircled by, pigeons and forgotten by his fellow man, that there came to him a spiritual revelation.

"Strange!" he thought; "I notice a certain inconsistency in myself, and even in my utterances.I am two men, one of whom is me and one not me;and the one which is not me is the one which causes me to fall into the arms of policemen and other troubles.The one which is me loves these pigeons, and desires to live quietly with my dog, not considering public affairs, which, indeed, seem to be suited to persons of another sort.

Whence, then, comes the one which is not me? Can it be that it is derived from the sayings and writings of others, and is but a spurious spirit only meet to be outcast? Do I, to speak in the vernacular, care any buttons whether we stick to Gibraltar or not so long as men do but live in kindness? And if that is so, have I the right to say I do?

Ought I not, rather, to be true to my private self and leave the course of public affairs to those who have louder voices and no private selves?"The thought was extremely painful, for it seemed to disclose to him grave inconsistency in the recent management of his life.And, thoroughly mortified, he turned round with a view of entering the National Gallery and soothing his spirit with art, when he was arrested by the placard which covered it announcing which town had taken which sum of bonds.

This lighted up such a new vista of public utility that his brain would certainly have caught fire again if one of the policemen who had conducted him across the Square had not touched him on the arm, and said:

"How are you now, sir?"

"I am pretty well, thank you, policeman," replied Mr.Lavender, "and sorry that I occasioned so much disturbance.""Don't mention it, sir," answered the policeman; "you came a nasty crump.""Tell me," said Mr.Lavender, suddenly looking up into his face, "do you consider that a man is justified in living a private life? For, as regards my future, it is largely on your opinion that I shall act."The policeman, whose solid face showed traces of astonishment, answered slowly: "As a general thing, a man's private life don't bear lookin'

into, as you know, sir."

"I have not lived one for some time," said Mr.Lavender.

"Well," remarked the policeman, "if you take my advice you won't try it a-gain.I should say you 'adn't the constitution.""I fear you do not catch my meaning," returned Mr.Lavender, whose whole body was aching from his fall; "it is my public life which tries me.""Well, then, I should chuck it," said the policeman.

"Really?" murmured Mr.Lavender eagerly "would you?""Why not?" said the -policeman.

So excited was Mr.Lavender by this independent confirmation of his sudden longing that he took out half a crown.

"You will oblige me greatly," he said, by accepting this as a token of my gratitude.""Well, sir, I'll humour you," answered the policeman; "though it was no trouble, I'm sure; you're as light as a feather.Goin' anywhere in particular?" he added.

"Yes," said Mr.Lavender, rather faintly, "the Tube Station.""Come along with me, then."

Mr.Lavender went along, not sorry to have the protection of that stalwart form, for his nerve was shaken, not so much by physical suffering as by the revelation he had received.

"If you'll take my tip, sir," said the policeman, parting from him, "you won't try no private life again; you don't look strong.""Thank you, policeman," said Mr.Lavender musingly; "it is kind of you to take an interest in me.Good-bye!"Safely seated in the Tube for Hampstead he continued the painful struggle of his meditations."If, indeed," he thought, "as a public man I do more harm than good, I am prepared to sacrifice all for my country's sake and retire into private life.But the policeman said that would be dangerous for me.What, then, is left? To live neither a public nor a private life!"This thought, at once painful and heroic, began to take such hold of him that he arrived at his house in a high fever of the brain.

同类推荐
  • 存神固气论

    存神固气论

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 新译大乘入楞伽经

    新译大乘入楞伽经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 四代

    四代

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 无量寿佛赞注

    无量寿佛赞注

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 都表如意摩尼转轮圣王次第念诵秘密最要略法

    都表如意摩尼转轮圣王次第念诵秘密最要略法

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 弃妃逍遥:王爷,你被休了!

    弃妃逍遥:王爷,你被休了!

    “啊……”直冲云霄的尖叫声,顿时让整个皇宫都沸腾了。“鬼叫什么?”宿醉后,被人吵醒的当今二皇子,皇上册封的康王,双眼未睁,就怒斥出口。可是……触手可及,一片嫩滑温润。双眸爆睁,入眼之人,竟然是该成为他弟媳的当朝相府三小姐冷夜儿。……纷沓而至的脚步声来不及阻挡,已经全都冲进了敞开的殿门。“荒唐!”“无耻!”“唉……”“二弟,你也……”当朝太子无奈喟叹,转身离去。“滚出去……”终于清醒了的康王恼怒的吩咐,猛的抽出了一直被身旁女子做枕的手臂。
  • 犹太智慧书

    犹太智慧书

    托尔斯泰说:“犹太民族的智慧包含了永不消逝的温情与魅力,这些都是伟大的东西,就像玫瑰色的晨星,闪耀在寂寞的早晨,那是对人类灵魂永恒秘密充满激情的探索。”正如智慧的学者引导着智慧的民族一样,犹太人总是能给人类带来一些新奇,他们在“钱的海洋”中玩耍着、滚打着、摩擦着,以及生存着,我们只有细细地品味,才会从中吮吸出智慧的滋味。《犹太智慧书》一书全面地介绍了犹太人在各个方面、各个领域中的杰出智慧,可以说“集大成为一体”,从而找到打开智慧殿堂的钥匙,点燃一簇令人肃然起敬的圣火。
  • 人间无地著相思

    人间无地著相思

    人生有八苦生老病死、爱别离、怨憎偶、求不得、放不下爱上你,八苦尝尽……
  • 任正非的谜:华为的那套办法

    任正非的谜:华为的那套办法

    作者从多方面入手,叙述了任正非经营管理华为的策略、方法、手段,即他带领华为从创业走向业界巨头的方方面面的经验。
  • 儿童的高级教育:一位普通父亲16年的教子方案

    儿童的高级教育:一位普通父亲16年的教子方案

    您正在翻开的是一本即将颠覆传统育儿观点的图书。如果您墨守陈规,或者循规蹈矩,如果您完全地依赖学校教育,请不要继续阅读下去;但是如果您是《卡尔.威特的教育》的忠实读者,如果您知道木村久一,那么请仔细地阅读这本书,它是作者16年坚持用自己的方法精心培育自己的孩子的经验集合,以及作者与其他家长交流得出的育儿感悟。本书仅限于12岁以下孩子家长阅读。
  • 十住毗婆沙论卷第

    十住毗婆沙论卷第

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 腹黑爹地来迟了

    腹黑爹地来迟了

    一段美好的校园爱情,本应顺理成章的修成正果,却在一步之遥戛然而止!从此,世上又多了一位单亲妈妈,夏小遥带着宝宝艰难地生活着,却还在期望着孩子他爸回来。他真的回来了,却不再是大学时夏小遥所认识的那个少年,而是化身为从国外回来的投资客,和他一起回来的,居然是曾经的大学室友吴珊珊!是再续前缘,还是知难而退?这可不是夏小遥所能决定的!因为,一大一小两个男人都声称不能没有她!夏小遥决定遵从心底的想法,和深爱的人在一起,却发现似乎总是有着许多莫名的力量在阻碍着他们,甚至,三年多前的分离真相也开始露出水面,这一次,他们的结果会不一样吗?本文一对一,宠文,喜欢的亲们记得收藏哦,8然--哼哼!【好奇宝宝篇】某宝:妈妈,我真的没有爸爸吗?幼儿园的小朋友都有。某妈:宝宝当然也有爸爸了,只不过,宝宝的爸爸不和我们住在一起。某宝:哦,为什么不和爸爸住一起呢?要是和爸爸住一起,我就可以和爸爸一起玩了!某妈:这个--,爸爸他也要上班啊,所以不能和我们住一起啊!某宝:那爸爸不放假吗?妈妈上班也要放假的哦!某妈:爸爸的工作很忙,没有假放的,所以他才能赚很多钱买房子给宝宝住啊!你知道吗?我们现在住的房子就是爸爸买的!某宝:哦,那我们已经有房子了,可以让爸爸回来陪宝宝了吗?某妈:还不行哦,这个房子还欠了好多的贷款,所以爸爸还要继续赚钱才可以。某宝:哦,那爸爸什么时候可以还完钱啊?我想爸爸快点回来陪我玩--【痴情男人篇】某男:遥遥,我回来了。某女:嗯!某男:我好想你!还有我们的孩子!某女:你就知道一定是你的?某男:我就知道!某女:好,那个吴珊珊是怎么回事?某男:我们俩没什么。某女:那你们怎么一起走,又一起回来?某男:那是因为,我以后再告诉你。某女:宝宝,我们走!P:简介无能,文文精彩!
  • 和小奶狗谈恋爱

    和小奶狗谈恋爱

    如果人可以长尾巴~总会觉得有点难为情呢~因为只要和你在一起,我总会忍不住摇尾巴吧~
  • 大地之眼

    大地之眼

    从密林里看湖,船只从一片叶子驶向另一片叶子。——题记,眼镜蛇是世上最无耻的蛇。它大概想成为这片湖滩的唯一主人,竟然反目为仇,狠狠咬了牛子一口。牛子去年就认识了这条蛇。牛子老了,话也多了。他给它讲了好多故事,鄱阳湖上“百慕大”的故事,沉海昏起吴城、滂鄡阳浮都昌的故事,英国佬在姑塘设海关的故事,鳡鱼精完吞日本运输舰的故事……他还学着都昌的杨八斤,吊起眼皮,抖动深深凹陷的眼眶,翻起眼白,抽搐颧骨上的肌肉,唱了一段段鼓书。那时,孤独的眼镜蛇是牛子的忠实听众。
  • 碎玉沉香

    碎玉沉香

    每个人心里都会有一片不安的地方,左依恰恰就是这样的一个不安的人,年幼时的灾祸使她连自己的感情也一并忘记。在被作为人质送往另外的已过之后左依的生后开始有了改变,更多的人也走进了她的生活里。温和的罗斐、霸道的罗裴、天真的雪香、迷惘的红雨、软弱的芸依每个人都围绕着左依在旋转。而左依却只想找的一个合适的依靠,以前的自己、以前的一切是是非非对左依来说都不重要。可是为什么还是有魔掌一次次地伸向左依?装在左依心里的人又到底是谁?碎裂了的镯子的裂纹之中又是又包含着什么?桃花林里会是怎样的未来在等着左依?情节虚构,切勿模仿