THE TWELVE GOLDEN-HAIRED BAR-MAIDS.
Now it was not without some boyish nervousness that I followed my newly made friend, for I confess that I have ever been a poor hand at talking to bar-maids.It is, I am convinced, an art apart, an art like any other,--needing first the natural gift, then the long patient training, and finally the courageous practice.Alas for me, I possessed neither gift, training, nor courage.Courage I lacked most of all.It was in vain that Isaid to myself that it was like swimming,--all that was needed was "confidence." That was the very thing I couldn't muster.
No doubt I am handicapped by a certain respectful homage which Ialways feel involuntarily to any one in the shape of woman, for anything savouring of respect is the last thing to win the bar-maid heart divine.The man to win her is he who calls loudly for his drink, without a "Please" or a "Thank you," throws his hat at the back of his head, gulps down half his glass, and, while drawing breath for the other half, takes a hard, indifferent look at her, and in an off-hand voice throws her some fatuous, mirthless jest.
Now, I've never been able to do this in the convincing grand manner of the British male; and whatever I have said, the effect has been the same.I've talked about theatres and music-halls, of events of the day, I've even--Heaven help me--talked of racing and football, but I might as well have talked of Herbert Spencer.I suppose I didn't talk about them in the right way.
I'm sure it must be my fault somewhere, for certainly they seem easy enough to please, poor things! However, my failure remains, and sometimes even I find it extremely hard to attract their attention in the ordinary way of business.I don't mind my neighbour being preferred before me, but I do object to his being served before me!
So, I say, I couldn't but tremble at the vision of those golden-haired goddesses, standing with immobile faces by their awful altars.Indeed, had I realised how superbly impressive they were going to be, I think I must have declined the adventure altogether,--for, robed in lustrous ivory-white linen were those figures of undress marble, the wealth of their glorious bodies pressing out into bosoms magnificent as magnolias (nobler lines and curves Greece herself has never known), towering in throats of fluted alabaster, and flowering in coiffures of imperial gold.
Nor was their temple less magnificent.To make it fair, Ruskin had relit the seven lamps of architecture, and written the seven labours of Hercules; for these windows through a whole youth Burne Jones had worshipped painted glass at Oxford, and to breathe romance into these frescos had Rossetti been born, and Dante born again.Men had gone to prison and to death that this temple of Whiskey-and-Soda might be fair.
Strange, in truth, are the ministrations to which Beauty is called.Out of the high heaven is she summoned, from mystic communion with her own perfection, from majestic labours in the Sistine Chapel of the Stars,--yea, she must put aside her gold-leaf and purples and leave unfinished the very panels of the throne of God,--that Circe shall have her palace, and her worshippers their gilded sty.
As there were at least a score of "worshippers" round each Circe, my nervousness became unimportant, and therefore passed.
Thus, as my companion and I sat at one of the little tables, from which we might gaze upon the sea without and Aphrodite within, my eyes were able to fly like bees from one fair face to another.
Finally, they settled upon a Circe less besieged of the hoarse and grunting mob.She was conspicuously less in height, her hair was rather bright red than golden, and her face had more meanings than the faces of her fellows.
