THE next thing she knew, she felt herself seized strongly by the arm.She gazed round in a dazed way.She was in the street--how she got there she had no idea.The grip on her arm--it was the young doctor, Hamilton."I called you twice," explained he, "but you didn't hear.""He is dead," said she.
Hamilton had a clear view of her face now.There was not a trace of the child left.He saw her eyes--quiet, lonely, violet stars.
"You must go and rest quietly, " he said with gentleness."You are worn out."Susan took from her bosom the twenty dollars, handed it to him.
"It belongs to him," said she."Give it to them, to bury him."And she started on.
"Where are you going?" asked the young man.
Susan stopped, looked vaguely at him."Good-by," she said.
"You've been very kind."
"You've found a boarding place?"
"Oh, I'm all right."
"You want to see him?"
"No.Then he'll always be alive to me."
"You had better keep this money.The city will take care of the funeral.""It belong to him.I couldn't keep it for myself.I must be going.""Shan't I see you again?"
"I'll not trouble you."
"Let me walk with you as far as your place."
"I'm not feeling--just right.If you don't mind--please--I'd rather be alone.""I don't mean to intrude, but----"
"I'm all right," said the girl."Don't worry about me.""But you are too young----"
"I've been married....Thank you, but--good-by."He could think of no further excuse for detaining her.Her manner disquieted him, yet it seemed composed and natural.
Probably she had run away from a good home, was now sobered and chastened, was eager to separate herself from the mess she had got into and return to her own sort of people.It struck him as heartless that she should go away in this fashion; but on second thought, he could not associate heartlessness with her.Also, he saw how there might be something in what she had said about not wishing to have to think of her friend as dead.He stood watching her straight narrow young figure until it was lost to view in the crowd of people going home from work.
Susan went down Elm Street to Garfield Place, seated herself on one of the benches.She was within sight of the unobtrusive little house with the awnings; but she did not realize it.She had no sense of her surroundings, of the passing of time, felt no grief, no sensation of any kind.She simply sat, her little bundle in her lap, her hands folded upon it.
A man in uniform paused before her."Closing-up time," he said, sharply but in the impartial official way."I'm going to lock the gates."She looked at him.
In a softer, apologetic tone, he said, "I've got to lock the gates.That's the law, miss."She did not clearly understand, but rose and went out into Race Street.She walked slowly along, not knowing or caring where.
She walked--walked--walked.Sometimes her way lay through crowded streets, again through streets deserted.Now she was stumbling over the uneven sidewalks of a poor quarter; again it was the smooth flagstones of the shopping or wholesale districts.
Several times she saw the river with its multitude of boats great and small; several times she crossed the canal.Twice she turned back because the street was mounting the hills behind the city--the hills with the cars swiftly ascending and descending the inclined planes, and at the crests gayly lighted pavilions where crowds were drinking and dancing.Occasionally some man spoke to her, but desisted as she walked straight on, apparently not hearing.She rested from time to time, on a stoop or on a barrel or box left out by some shopkeeper, or leaning upon the rail of a canal bridge.She was walking with a purpose--to try to scatter the dense fog that had rolled in and enveloped her mind, and then to try to think.
She sat, or rather dropped, down from sheer fatigue, in that cool hour which precedes the dawn.It happened to be the steps of a church.She fell into a doze, was startled back to consciousness by the deep boom of the bell in the steeple; it made the stone vibrate under her.One--two--three--four! Toward the east there shone a flush of light, not yet strong enough to dim the stars.The sky above her was clear.The pall of smoke rolled away.The air felt clean and fresh, even had in it a reminiscence of the green fields whence it had come.She began to revive, like a sleeper shaking off drowsiness and the spell of a bad dream and looking forward to the new day.The fog that had swathed and stupefied her brain seemed to have lifted.At her heart there was numbness and a dull throbbing, an ache; but her mind was clear and her body felt intensely, hopelessly alive and ready, clamorously ready, for food.A movement across the narrow street attracted her attention.A cellar door was rising--thrust upward by the shoulders of a man.It fell full open with a resounding crash, the man revealed by the light from beneath--a white blouse, a white cap.Toward her wafted the delicious odor of baking bread.She rose, hesitated only an instant, crossed the street directly toward the baker who had come up to the surface for cool air.
"I am hungry," said she to him."Can't you let me have something to eat?"The man--he had a large, smooth, florid face eyed her in amused astonishment."Where'd you jump from?" he demanded.
"I was resting on the church steps over there.The smell came to me and--I couldn't stand it.I can pay.""Oh, that's all right," said the man, with a strong German accent."Come down." And he descended the steps, she following.
It was a large and lofty cellar, paved with cement; floor, ceilings, walls, were whitened with flour.There were long clean tables for rolling the dough; big wooden bowls; farther back, the ovens and several bakers at work adding to the huge piles of loaves the huge baskets of rolls.Susan's eyes glistened; her white teeth showed in a delightful smile of hunger about to be satisfied.
"Do you want bread or rolls?" asked the German.Then without waiting for her to answer, "I guess some of the `sweet rolls,'
we call 'em, would about suit a lady."
