登陆注册
5406800000458

第458章 THE COUNTRY CLERGYMAN'S TRIP TO CAMBRIDGE

AN ELECTION BALLAD.

(1827.)

As I sate down to breakfast in state, At my living of Tithing-cum-Boring, With Betty beside me to wait, Came a rap that almost beat the door in.

I laid down my basin of tea, And Betty ceased spreading the toast, "As sure as a gun, sir," said she, "That must be the knock of the post."A letter--and free--bring it here--

I have no correspondent who franks.

No! Yes! Can it be? Why, my dear, 'Tis our glorious, our Protestant Bankes.

"Dear sir, as I know you desire That the Church should receive due protection, I humbly presume to require Your aid at the Cambridge election.

"It has lately been brought to my knowledge, That the Ministers fully design To suppress each cathedral and college, And eject every learned divine.

To assist this detestable scheme Three nuncios from Rome are come over;They left Calais on Monday by steam, And landed to dinner at Dover.

"An army of grim Cordeliers, Well furnished with relics and vermin, Will follow, Lord Westmoreland fears, To effect what their chiefs may determine.

Lollard's bower, good authorities say, Is again fitting up for a prison;And a wood-merchant told me to-day 'Tis a wonder how faggots have risen.

"The finance scheme of Canning contains A new Easter-offering tax;And he means to devote all the gains To a bounty on thumb-screws and racks.

Your living, so neat and compact--

Pray, don't let the news give you pain!--Is promised, I know for a fact, To an olive-faced Padre from Spain."I read, and I felt my heart bleed, Sore wounded with horror and pity;So I flew, with all possible speed, To our Protestant champion's committee.

True gentlemen, kind and well-bred!

No fleering! no distance! no scorn!

They asked after my wife who is dead, And my children who never were born.

They then, like high-principled Tories, Called our Sovereign unjust and unsteady, And assailed him with scandalous stories, Till the coach for the voters was ready.

That coach might be well called a casket Of learning and brotherly love:

There were parsons in boot and in basket;There were parsons below and above.

There were Sneaker and Griper, a pair Who stick to Lord Mulesby like leeches;A smug chaplain of plausible air, Who writes my Lord Goslingham's speeches.

Dr Buzz, who alone is a host, Who, with arguments weighty as lead, Proves six times a week in the Post That flesh somehow differs from bread.

Dr Nimrod, whose orthodox toes Are seldom withdrawn from the stirrup;Dr Humdrum, whose eloquence flows, Like droppings of sweet poppy syrup;Dr Rosygill puffing and fanning, And wiping away perspiration;Dr Humbug who proved Mr Canning The beast in St John's Revelation.

A layman can scarce form a notion Of our wonderful talk on the road;Of the learning, the wit, and devotion, Which almost each syllable showed:

Why divided allegiance agrees So ill with our free constitution;How Catholics swear as they please, In hope of the priest's absolution;How the Bishop of Norwich had bartered His faith for a legate's commission;How Lyndhurst, afraid to be martyr'd, Had stooped to a base coalition;How Papists are cased from compassion By bigotry, stronger than steel;How burning would soon come in fashion, And how very bad it must feel.

We were all so much touched and excited By a subject so direly sublime, That the rules of politeness were slighted, And we all of us talked at a time;And in tones, which each moment grew louder, Told how we should dress for the show, And where we should fasten the powder, And if we should bellow or no.

Thus from subject to subject we ran, And the journey passed pleasantly o'er, Till at last Dr Humdrum began;From that time I remember no more.

At Ware he commenced his prelection, In the dullest of clerical drones;And when next I regained recollection We were rambling o'er Trumpington stones....

同类推荐
  • 紫元君授道传心法

    紫元君授道传心法

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 佛说兴起行经

    佛说兴起行经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 喉舌备要秘旨

    喉舌备要秘旨

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 文昌杂录

    文昌杂录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 华严经入法界品十八问答

    华严经入法界品十八问答

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 新编摩托车故障检修精选280例

    新编摩托车故障检修精选280例

    本书精选目前比较流行的多款新型摩托车故障为例,详细介绍了故障的诊断思路及检查方法,分析故障产生的根源,讲解故障排除的方法,让读者分享维修实战过程,学到故障检修的经验与技巧。
  • 姥爷说过

    姥爷说过

    失去的不会回来,只能在别人的记忆里绽放烟花。
  • 舞吧,傀儡

    舞吧,傀儡

    “神驱使自己的信徒向无信者发动战争以传播信仰,魔法师干掉那些信徒攫取实验素材,同时还放出充当双方黑手套的恶魔,等到恶魔将要毁灭世界时,神再下凡救世,驱走恶魔,收割信仰。在这场圣战中,那些不朽者依旧高高在上,只有凡人流尽鲜血,这就是圣战的本质,一场不朽者对其他所有生物的屠杀。因为这个瓜分世界的阴谋,整个世界几乎不可能有新的不朽者产生,没有人能挑战他们的地位,而他们也将迈入真正的永恒。可要终结圣战,我们面临的敌人不只是那些既得利益者,还有那些被不朽者洗脑成为傀儡的凡人。”“老师,为什么我们一定要推翻圣战体系呢,加入他们,和他们一起瓜分世界不是更好吗?”秦明苦笑道:“正因为无法加入他们,所以才一定要终结这该死的圣战。”
  • 从军行

    从军行

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 会聊才有好人缘:30秒消除隔阂,打造好交情

    会聊才有好人缘:30秒消除隔阂,打造好交情

    《会聊才有好人缘:30秒消除隔阂,打造好交情》揭示了闲聊的真正意义,告诉你闲聊的礼仪和技巧,培养你获得闲聊话题的能力,引导你在职场、情场、家庭生活中与人闲聊,从而迅速消除与他人的隔阂,建立好交情。闲聊不是高深的说话术,与口才不同;是一种社交能力,是一种沟通能力。跟随《会聊才有好人缘:30秒消除隔阂,打造好交情》,能立即提升你的闲聊能力,改善你的人际关系。从此,不论在哪里,不论与谁都能愉快而轻松地闲聊,并由此建立和谐而美好的人际关系。
  • 王牌乖妃

    王牌乖妃

    前世,他用生命换她重生。今生,就让她还他一世柔情。而那些像毒蛇狠毒般置她与地狱的人,她会狠狠把他们踩在脚底下,在他们张开毒牙咬向她时,毫不留情的扼断他们的喉咙。一世重来,她小心翼翼,如惊梦初醒,走的步步惊心,唯有他,是她唯一的心软。幡然悔悟的她说,“聂从寒,浣儿此生宁负天下不负你。”
  • 流芳

    流芳

    作者对一百多位中外名人的传奇爱情故事,作了细腻、感人、真挚的抒发和阐释,一百多个催人泪下的爱情经典,尽现“流芳”的生动,不一样的经典诠释相同的真谛——最深的爱和最重的情,会随时日一起成长,永世流芳。我们都曾经拥有美好的、纯纯暖暖的、如淡蓝天空般清澈的爱情。现在,无论那份爱怎样,无论对方怎样,无论自己怎样,无论时空、际遇怎样,我们依然相信真爱的存在,真心爱过,就是高贵的。总有这样一个人,在你的生命里,在我们的生命里,流芳……
  • 怪兽部落百科(奥秘世界百科)

    怪兽部落百科(奥秘世界百科)

    本套书全面而系统地介绍了当今世界各种各样的奥秘现象及其科学探索,集知识性、趣味性、新奇性、疑问性与科学性于一体,深入浅出,生动可读,通俗易懂,目的是使读者在兴味盎然地领略世界奥秘现象的同时,能够加深思考,启迪智慧,开阔视野,增加知识,能够正确了解和认识这个世界,激发求知的欲望和探索的精神,激起热爱科学和追求科学的热情,掌握开启人类和自然的金钥匙,使我们真正成为人类和自然的主人,不断认识世界,不断改造自然,不断推进人类文明向前发展。
  • 谎言后面的房子

    谎言后面的房子

    千真万确,她有了!黄樱子前脚一走,露露便奔进卧室拿出妊娠仪,测验了自己的尿液。第一个念头就是快告诉老公。可老公呢?捱到天黑他还没有回家。她叹了口气,顺手拿起一支笔,在一张报纸上无心地乱涂,却涂成了一栋房子的草图:两层楼的红砖房,前院有棵高高的花树,是桃花就是樱花。快有孩子了,应该买房子了。什么时候才有自己的房子?她狠着劲儿扔下了笔,站起身来。她的老公是个老美,名叫托尼(TONY)。露露相貌平平,老公却英俊潇洒。好多女人服气,背地里舌头一阵乱翻:老美的眼睛可是有毛病?他们眼睛里的中国美女,有几个正常的?大多长得有几分异端。
  • 我和猫咪有个约会

    我和猫咪有个约会

    阴差阳错之下救了一只猫,可谁又能想到,这只猫居然就是自己朝思暮想的男神?男神=猫?这可怎么办?还是坚决做只铲屎官的好,不然会被挠啊啊啊