登陆注册
5419900000012

第12章

DUCH.At middle-class party I play at ecarte--And I'm by no means a beginner--DUKE (significantly).She's not a beginner.

DUCH.To one of my station The remuneration--Five guineas a night and my dinner--DUKE.And wine with her dinner.

DUCH.I write letters blatant On medicines patent--And use any other you mustn't--DUKE.Believe me, you mustn't--DUCH.And vow my complexion Derives its perfection From somebody's soap--which it doesn't--DUKE.(significantly).It certainly doesn't!

DUKE.We're ready as witness To any one's fitness To fill any place or preferment--DUCH.A place or preferment.

DUCH.We're often in waiting At junket or feting, And sometimes attend an interment--DUKE.We enjoy an interment.

BOTH.In short, if you'd kindle The spark of a swindle, Lure simpletons into your clutches--Yes; into your clutches.

Or hoodwink a debtor, You cannot do betterDUCH.Than trot out a Duke or a Duchess--DUKE.A Duke or a Duchess!

(Enter Marco and Giuseppe.)

DUKE.Ah! Their Majesties.Your Majesty! (Bows with great ceremony.)MAR.The Duke of Plaza-Toro, I believe?

DUKE.The same.(Marco and Giuseppe offer to shake hands with him.The Duke bows ceremoniously.They endeavour to imitate him.) Allow me to present--GIU.The young lady one of us married?

(Marco and Giuseppe offer to shake hands with her.Casilda curtsies formally.They endeavour to imitate her.)CAS.Gentlemen, I am the most obedient servant of one of you.(Aside.) Oh, Luiz!

DUKE.I am now about to address myself to the gentleman whom my daughter married; the other may allow his attention to wander if he likes, for what I am about to say does not concern him.Sir, you will find in this young lady a combination of excellences which you would search for in vain in any young lady who had not the good fortune to be my daughter.There is some little doubt as to which of you is the gentleman I am addressing, and which is the gentleman who is allowing his attention to wander; but when that doubt is solved, I shall say (still addressing the attentive gentleman), "Take her, and may she make you happier than her mother has made me."DUCH.Sir!

DUKE.If possible.And now there is a little matter to which I think I am entitled to take exception.I come here in state with Her Grace the Duchess and Her Majesty my daughter, and what do I find? Do I find, for instance, a guard of honour to receive me? No!

MAR.and GIU.No.

DUKE.The town illuminated? No!

MAR.and GIU.No.

DUKE.Refreshment provided? No!

MAR.and GIU.No.

DUKE.A Royal salute fired? No!

MAR.and GIU.No.

DUKE.Triumphal arches erected? No!

MAR.and GIU.No.

DUKE.The bells set ringing?

MAR.and GIU.No.

DUKE.Yes--one--the Visitors', and I rang it myself.It is not enough! It is not enough!

GIU.Upon my honour, I'm very sorry; but you see, I was brought up in a gondola, and my ideas of politeness are confined to taking off my cap to my passengers when they tip me.

DUCH.That's all very well in its way, but it is not enough.

GIU.I'll take off anything else in reason.

DUKE.But a Royal Salute to my daughter--it costs so little.

CAS.Papa, I don't want a salute.

GIU.My dear sir, as soon as we know which of us is entitled to take that liberty she shall have as many salutes as she likes.

MAR.As for guards of honour and triumphal arches, you don't know our people--they wouldn't stand it.

GIU.They are very off-hand with us--very off-hand indeed.

DUKE.Oh, but you mustn't allow that--you must keep them in proper discipline, you must impress your Court with your importance.You want deportment--carriage--GIU.We've got a carriage.

DUKE.Manner--dignity.There must be a good deal of this sort of thing--(business)--and a little of this sort of thing--(business)--and possibly just a Soupcon of this sort of thing!--(business)--and so on.Oh, it's very useful, and most effective.Just attend to me.You are a King--I am a subject.

Very good--

(Gavotte.)

DUKE, DUCHESS, CASILDA, MARCO, GIUSEPPE.

DUKE.I am a courtier grave and serious Who is about to kiss your hand:

Try to combine a pose imperious With a demeanour nobly bland.

MAR.and Let us combine a pose imperious GIU.With a demeanour nobly bland.

(Marco and Giuseppe endeavour to carry out his instructions.)DUKE.That's, if anything, too unbending--Too aggressively stiff and grand;(They suddenly modify their attitudes.)

Now to the other extreme you're tending--Don't be so deucedly condescending!

DUCH.and Now to the other extreme you're tending--CAS.Don't be so dreadfully condescending!

MAR.and Oh, hard to please some noblemen seem!

GIU.At first, if anything, too unbending;Off we go to the other extreme--Too confoundedly condescending!

DUKE.Now a gavotte perform sedately--Offer your hand with conscious pride;Take an attitude not too stately, Still sufficiently dignified.

MAR.and Now for an attitude not too stately, GIU.Still sufficiently dignified.

(They endeavour to carry out his instructions.)DUKE (beating Oncely, twicely--oncely, twicely--time).Bow impressively ere you glide.

(They do so.)

Capital both, capital both--you've caught it nicely!

That is the style of thing precisely!

DUCH.andCapital both, capital both--they've caught it nicely!

CAS.That is the style of thing precisely!

MAR.and Oh, sweet to earn a nobleman's praise!

GIU.Capital both, capital both--we've caught it nicely!

Supposing he's right in what he says, This is the style of thing precisely!

(Gavotte.At the end exeunt Duke and Duchess, leaving Casilda with Marco and Giuseppe.)GIU.(to Marco).The old birds have gone away and left the young chickens together.That's called tact.

MAR.It's very awkward.We really ought to tell her how we are situated.It's not fair to the girl.

GIU.Then why don't you do it?

MAR.I'd rather not--you.

GIU.I don't know how to begin.(To Casilda.)Er--Madam--I--we, that is, several of us--CAS.Gentlemen, I am bound to listen to you; but it is right to tell you that, not knowing I was married in infancy, Iam over head and ears in love with somebody else.

同类推荐
  • 大鹤山人词话

    大鹤山人词话

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 佛说灭除五逆罪大陀罗尼经

    佛说灭除五逆罪大陀罗尼经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 主术训

    主术训

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 谷山笔麈

    谷山笔麈

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 犹及编

    犹及编

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 零极限

    零极限

    张德芬、毕淑敏、船井幸雄等人推荐!《秘密》的作者之一维泰利,从朋友那儿听说有位心理学家不必见到病人,就治愈了整所医院里患有精神疾病的罪犯。这些犯过罪的病人,虽然戴着手铐脚镣,还是会不时地攻击工作人员。医院里每月都会有心理学家离职,工作人员也经常请假不上班。但从修·蓝博士来到这家医院几个月后,原本重度依赖药物的病患,慢慢停药了,被单独囚禁的病患,不再有攻击行为,可以在院区自由走动了。工作人员开始喜欢上班了,病患慢慢被释放了,最后整个院区也不需要存在了……这个不可思议的故事勾起了维泰利的好奇心,他决定去寻这位神奇的治疗师。在向他学习的过程中,维泰利发现修·蓝博士是用四句话—“我爱你”,“对不起”,“请原谅”,“谢谢你”来清理自己。
  • 海南杂着

    海南杂着

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 腹黑暗帝逆天妃

    腹黑暗帝逆天妃

    他是强大恐怖的黑暗之王,她是囧囧穿越的盗墓强者。当两个极品相撞,整个大陆注定风起云涌,囧事连连。“女人,嫁我,娶我,二选一!”她坏笑连连,满眼算计,“我只喜欢躺着不会说话的……尸体。”男人闻言,邪魅一笑,倏然搂着她跳入棺中,“这样更好,我们连拜堂都省了!”【本书原名嫡女风华:腹黑暗帝盗墓妃】
  • 叶落半夏

    叶落半夏

    我一生渴望被人收藏好,妥善安放,细心保存。免我惊,免我苦,免我四下流离,免我无枝可依。
  • 大漠“猎狐”阿拉曼战役(下)

    大漠“猎狐”阿拉曼战役(下)

    本书讲述非洲二战转折史。前期,由隆美尔所带领的非洲纳粹军团,一路获胜,进逼开罗,危难时刻,英国蒙哥马利将军走马上任,他通过一系列措施迅速扭转时局,并在阿拉曼战役中重创隆美尔军团,从而彻底改变非洲战争局面,导致意大利墨索里尼政府垮台,间接加速了二战的结束进程。
  • 诺贝尔文学奖获奖作家随笔精品

    诺贝尔文学奖获奖作家随笔精品

    《诺贝尔文学奖获奖作家随笔精品》共收录了1901年至2010年诺贝尔文学奖获奖作家随笔精品80余篇,作品字里行间透露着文学大师对社会的见解和生活的智慧,为所有读者提供一份供学习、欣赏、借鉴的随笔经典之作。《诺贝尔文学奖获奖作家随笔精品》1995年12月初版,此次为修订后再版。
  • 鬼差有情

    鬼差有情

    你到底是谁?为何总出现在我的梦中?我对梦中的你为何这般的熟悉,但却始终想不起你到底是谁?在这夜空的云层中,星星闪耀之时,我对还未曾蒙面的你,萌发了爱意!……待有来生,我定当偿还你的情,弥补当初所欠你的一切,用最好的一生来与你长相厮守……(读过无数玄幻小说的你,一定没有读过阴间存在类似高科技的小说,若感兴趣,就点击进来进行品尝一番,看是否合你的胃口!!)
  • 1936国足在柏林奥运

    1936国足在柏林奥运

    第三卷2018陆逐虎在俄罗斯世界杯,已经同步世界杯日程开始更新啦!敬请支持!(没看过前文的读者,直接从第三卷阅读也不影响。)自1936年奥运会、2014年世界杯蜕变归来后,作为中国队队长的陆逐虎,率领青年军征战2018俄罗斯世界杯。与前两次一出场就名动天下不同,陆逐虎这次却陷入“人设崩塌”“举国唾骂”的境地,究竟他能否再率领阿森纳、中国队这两只奇葩球队绝境求生?(1936年奥运会篇章已经完美终结啦!涉及1936年各场比赛的数据及过程,依据于民国《大公报》《申报》《香港华字日报》《出席第十一届世界运动会中华代表团报告》等文献及xudn大神《国足百年》,有据可查,可放心阅读。)
  • 宝贝神医:都是温柔惹得祸

    宝贝神医:都是温柔惹得祸

    师傅有事弟子服其劳,没问题她很愿意的嘛,可是为什么臭老头子一脸踩到狗屎大便的样子。师傅:因为我欠人家的是恩,不是仇啊。宝儿拍胸脯保证:报恩什么的完全小意思,看我貌美无边小神医为师傅恩仇一块报!师傅不允许?!小事一桩全部迷晕谁还能阻她!
  • 重生之星空巨蚊

    重生之星空巨蚊

    一只拥有大学生灵魂的吸血蚊子,为了复仇,从弱小到强大,一步一步自‘地球’这颗不起眼的生命行星,强势崛起于全宇宙的故事!文艺版:重生孑孓,奋斗自强,终羽化为恐怖巨蚊。从此纵横寰宇,遨游那茫茫宇宙星空!热血版:懦弱的宇宙生物们!我正在用我的口器,吸食你们母星的地心营养。你们,又能拿我怎样?逗比版:嫌弃我恶心?讨厌我吸血?还想一巴掌拍死我?给老子等着,总有一天,老子一脚踩塌你家房子!日更2章6000+字,不定时爆发!拜求各位书友的收藏推荐支持,谢谢!第一粉丝裙:433842923,第二粉丝裙:466122798