登陆注册
5429600000141

第141章

ULLATHORNE SPORTS--ACT I

The trouble in civilised life of entertaining company, as it is called too generally without much regard to strict veracity, is so great that it cannot but be matter of wonder that people are so fond of attempting it. It is difficult to ascertain what is the quid pro quo. If they who give such laborious parties, and who endure such toil and turmoil in the vain hope of giving them successfully, really enjoyed the parties given by others, the matter would be understood. A sense of justice would induce men and women to undergo, in behalf of others, those miseries which others had undergone on their behalf. But they all profess that going out is as great a bore as receiving; and to look at them when they are out, one cannot but believe them.

Entertain! Who shall have sufficient self-assurance, who shall feel sufficient confidence in his own powers to dare to boast that he can entertain his company? A clown can sometimes do so, and sometimes a dancer in short petticoats and stuffed pink legs;occasionally, perhaps, a singer. But beyond these, success in this art of entertaining is not often achieved. Young men and girls linking themselves kind with kind, pairing like birds in spring, because nature wills it, they, after a simple fashion, do entertain each other. Few others even try.

Ladies, when they open their houses, modestly confessing, it may be presumed, their own incapacity, mainly trust to wax candles and upholstery. Gentlemen seem to rely on their white waistcoats. To these are added, for the delight of the more sensual, champagne and such good things of the table as fashion allows to be still considered as comestible. Even in this respect the world is deteriorating. All the good soups are now tabooed; and at the houses of one's accustomed friends, small barristers, doctors, government clerks, and such like, (for we cannot all of us always live as grandees, surrounded by an Elysium of livery servants), one gets a cold potato handed to one as a sort of finale to one's slice of mutton. Alas! for those happy days when one could say to one's neighbourhood, 'Jones, shall I give you some mashed turnip--may Itrouble you for a little cabbage?' And then the pleasure of drinking wine with Mrs Jones and Miss Smith; with all the Joneses and all the Smiths! These latter-day habits are certainly more economical.

Miss Thorne, however, boldly attempted to leave the modern beaten track, and made a positive effort to entertain her guests. Alas!

she did so with but moderate success. They had all their own way of going, and would not go her way. She piped to them, but they would not dance. She offered to them good honest household cake, made of currants and flour and eggs and sweetmeat; but they would feed themselves on trashy wafers from the shop of the Barchester pastry-cook, on chalk and gum and adulterated sugar. Poor Miss Thorne! yours is not the first honest soul that has vainly striven to recall the glories of happy days gone by! If fashion suggests to a Lady De Courcy that when invited to a dejeuner at twelve o'clock she ought to come at three, no eloquence of thine will teach her the advantage of a nearer approach to punctuality.

She had fondly thought that when she called on her friends to come at twelve, and especially begged them to believe that she meant it, she would be able to see them comfortably seated in their tents at two. Vain woman--or rather ignorant woman--ignorant of the advances of that civilization which the world had witnessed while she was growing old. At twelve she found herself alone, dressed in all the glory of the newest of her many suits of raiment; with strong shoes however, and a serviceable bonnet on her head, and a warm rich shawl on her shoulders. Thus clad she peered out into the tent, went to the ha-ha, and satisfied herself that at any rate the youngsters were amusing themselves, spoke a word to Mrs Greenacre over the ditch, and took one look at the quintain. Three or four young farmers were turning the machine round and round, and poking at the bag of flour in a manner not at all intended by the inventor of the game; but no mounted sportsmen were there. Miss Thorne looked at her watch. It was only fifteen minutes past twelve, and it was understood that Harry Greenacre was not to begin till the half hour.

Miss Thorne returned to her drawing-room rather quicker than her wont, fearing that the countess might come and find none to welcome her. She need not have hurried, for no one was there. At half-past twelve she peeped into the kitchen; at a quarter to one she was joined by her brother; and just then the first fashionable arrival took place. Mrs Clantantram was announced.

No announcement was necessary, indeed; for the good lady's voice was heard as she walked across the court-yard to the house scolding the unfortunate postilion who had driven her from Barchester. At the moment Miss Thorne could not but be thankful that the other guests were more fashionable, and were thus spared the fury of Mrs Clantantram's indignation.

'Oh, Miss Thorne, look here!' said she, as soon as she found herself in the drawing-room; 'do look at my roquelaure! It's clean spoilt, and for ever. I wouldn't but wear it because I know you wished us all to be grand to-day; and yet I had my misgivings. Oh dear, oh dear! It was five-and-twenty shillings a yard.'

The Barchester post horses had misbehaved in some unfortunate manner just as Mrs Clantantram was getting out of the chaise and had nearly thrown her under the wheel.

Mrs Clantantram belonged to other days, and therefore, though she had but little else to recommend her, Miss Thorne was to a certain extent fond of her. She sent the roquelaure away to be cleaned, and lent her one of her best shawls out of her own wardrobe.

同类推荐
  • 平宋录

    平宋录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 舍利弗悔过经

    舍利弗悔过经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 阅微草堂笔记

    阅微草堂笔记

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 金刚顶瑜伽青颈大悲王观自在念诵仪轨

    金刚顶瑜伽青颈大悲王观自在念诵仪轨

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 因明正理门论本

    因明正理门论本

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 玄幻之万界抽奖

    玄幻之万界抽奖

    地球少年苏羽携带“玄幻抽奖系统”穿越的神州大陆。“系统,给我抽奖。”“叮,恭喜宿主抽到混沌体”“叮,恭喜宿主抽到《不灭天功》”“叮,恭喜宿主抽到万物母气鼎”且看苏羽横扫大陆,成就无上主宰。(纯爽文,不虐主,不圣母。)
  • 98K借我一下

    98K借我一下

    “老婆,你的98K!”罗洋瑟瑟发抖地将刚舔到的98K上交。……全球总决赛的颁奖礼上。“罗洋,作为世界枪王,你有什么想说的吗?”主持人问。“嗯……老婆,能不能让我玩把98K?!”……“导演,刚才那段掐了。”“老婆,下辈子我还做你的五级甲!”罗洋按住腰间的小钳子,“真诚”地说道。
  • 四教仪备释

    四教仪备释

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 无双强龙

    无双强龙

    卦术,风水,暧昧,统统是点缀,孟易的心路历程才是这本小说的灵魂,也许他不是很强大,不会很装逼,但是我努力塑造一个真实的,屌丝逆袭的小卦师。情节虚构,请勿模仿
  • 网游之我是盗仙

    网游之我是盗仙

    作为一个直男,进入时下最火的战国游戏,面对游戏中最具传说的盗圣。“小子,你懂女人吗?”“不...不懂。”“好,从今以后,你就是我的关门弟子了。”啥,钢铁直男什么时候这么受欢迎了。
  • 墨子清谈

    墨子清谈

    本书通过介绍话说墨子、人生最大的艺术、修身养性、智慧与谋略、节约生命、追求真理、一阴一阳之谓道等内容,评述了墨子的人生态度和处世策略。
  • 第四青春,有你无悔

    第四青春,有你无悔

    那年夏天,我在高考这场战争败得一败涂地,可是我并没有失望。可能是缘分让我和2年前的一个人再次相见,但这终究是我痛苦的根源
  • 灵域大帝

    灵域大帝

    百世轮回之后,他再入凡尘。一面是人族的救世英雄,一面是魔族的灭世魔王;同一个人,却背负着两个不同的宿命。为兄弟,他剑指苍天;为爱人,他脚踏阎罗。亦正亦邪,他的路,将何去何从?
  • 相夫(婚姻治疗师前传)

    相夫(婚姻治疗师前传)

    孔家三女神,个顶个貌美如花。一姐好文艺,欲抛夫弃子去私奔;二姐工作狂,相“男神”无数,无一人能入她法眼;三妹鬼马精,倾心人气小歌手,一心要捧红个潜力股。平安夜前,三妹爱淘带着二姐爱佳,请“恋爱治疗师”宋时鱼给二姐量身定制一套速成版鉴人择偶秘籍,好让二姐尽快嫁出去,别再查收自己的“相夫伟业”。宋时鱼擅长相人秘术,足智多谋,助爱佳两小时内顺利“相”掉五位优质男,爱佳既受用又失落,爱淘看出宋时鱼没安好心。一姐爱美遭丈夫和小三联手挑衅,咬牙与情种诗人私奔。爱佳恳请宋时鱼出手为一姐相走情夫、相回亲夫。三个“姑奶奶”频频作孽,不让人省心……
  • 四季录盛夏繁花

    四季录盛夏繁花

    青春最美的不是梦,而是与你一起追梦的人。夏时清歌,梦醒珞音。青春,有最好的你们。