登陆注册
5430300000052

第52章 CONFESSIONS(1)

AS I am in the way of confessions I may as well acknowledge that, about this time, I paid more attention to dress than ever I had done before. This is not saying much - for hitherto I had been a little neglectful in that particular; but now, also, it was no uncommon thing to spend as much as two minutes in the contemplation of my own image in the glass; though I never could derive any consolation from such a study. I could discover no beauty in those marked features, that pale hollow cheek, and ordinary dark brown hair; there might be intellect in the forehead, there might be expression in the dark grey eyes, but what of that? - a low Grecian brow, and large black eyes devoid of sentiment would be esteemed far preferable. It is foolish to wish for beauty. Sensible people never either desire it for themselves or care about it in others.

If the mind be but well cultivated, and the heart well disposed, no one ever cares for the exterior. So said the teachers of our childhood; and so say we to the children of the present day. All very judicious and proper, no doubt; but are such assertions supported by actual experience?

We are naturally disposed to love what gives us pleasure, and what more pleasing than a beautiful face - when we know no harm of the possessor at least? A little girl loves her bird - Why?

Because it lives and feels; because it is helpless and harmless? A toad, likewise, lives and feels, and is equally helpless and harmless;but though she would not hurt a toad, she cannot love it like the bird, with its graceful form, soft feathers, and bright, speaking eyes. If a woman is fair and amiable, she is praised for both qualities, but especially the former, by the bulk of mankind:

if, on the other hand, she is disagreeable in person and character, her plainness is commonly inveighed against as her greatest crime, because, to common observers, it gives the greatest offence; while, if she is plain and good, provided she is a person of retired manners and secluded life, no one ever knows of her goodness, except her immediate connections. Others, on the contrary, are disposed to form unfavourable opinions of her mind, and disposition, if it be but to excuse themselves for their instinctive dislike of one so unfavoured by nature; and VISA VERSAwith her whose angel form conceals a vicious heart, or sheds a false, deceitful charm over defects and foibles that would not be tolerated in another. They that have beauty, let them be thankful for it, and make a good use of it, like any other talent; they that have it not, let them console themselves, and do the best they can without it: certainly, though liable to be over-estimated, it is a gift of God, and not to be despised. Many will feel this who have felt that they could love, and whose hearts tell them that they are worthy to be loved again; while yet they are debarred, by the lack of this or some such seeming trifle, from giving and receiving that happiness they seem almost made to feel and to impart. As well might the humble glowworm despise that power of giving light without which the roving fly might pass her and repass her a thousand times, and never rest beside her: she might hear her winged darling buzzing over and around her; he vainly seeking her, she longing to be found, but with no power to make her presence known, no voice to call him, no wings to follow his flight; - the fly must seek another mate, the worm must live and die alone.

Such were some of my reflections about this period. I might go on prosing more and more, I might dive much deeper, and disclose other thoughts, propose questions the reader might be puzzled to answer, and deduce arguments that might startle his prejudices, or, perhaps, provoke his ridicule, because he could not comprehend them; but I forbear.

Now, therefore, let us return to Miss Murray. She accompanied her mamma to the ball on Tuesday; of course splendidly attired, and delighted with her prospects and her charms. As Ashby Park was nearly ten miles distant from Horton Lodge, they had to set out pretty early, and I intended to have spent the evening with Nancy Brown, whom I had not seen for a long time; but my kind pupil took care I should spend it neither there nor anywhere else beyond the limits of the schoolroom, by giving me a piece of music to copy, which kept me closely occupied till bed-time. About eleven next morning, as soon as she had left her room, she came to tell me her news. Sir Thomas had indeed proposed to her at the ball; an event which reflected great credit on her mamma's sagacity, if not upon her skill in contrivance. I rather incline to the belief that she had first laid her plans, and then predicted their success. The offer had been accepted, of course, and the bridegroom elect was coming that day to settle matters with Mr. Murray.

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 复斋日记

    复斋日记

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 博士家的火灾(原创经典作品)

    博士家的火灾(原创经典作品)

    善读精品美文,拾取久违的感动;体悟百味人生,感受成长的快乐。阅读其间,时而在惊险悬疑的案件中悚然而惊,时而为体察入微的真情潸然泪下,时而又涌动着想针砭时弊的激情……掩卷而思,人性的美丑,世事的善恶,人生际遇的变幻无常不禁让人感慨万千。
  • 关尹子

    关尹子

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 巨星来了

    巨星来了

    今天媳妇让我看《大魔王又出手了》,我说不好看,当时她就跟我吵了起来。后来我就想:我一个大男人,为什么要和一个女人计较,更何况还是自己的媳妇!我当时就道歉了,表示会继续看《大魔王又出手了》。道完歉,媳妇很高兴,她手里的菜刀放下了,她妹妹抓着我头发的手松开了,她哥手里的砖头放下了,她弟弟手里的铁楸也放下了,丈母娘手里的擀面杖也扔了,老丈人拿出手机:“棺材还是退了吧。”**新书《大魔王又出手了》已开。
  • 当然是选择喜欢他

    当然是选择喜欢他

    都说这是个看脸的世界,颜值即正义,但对于这一点,余鲤深恶痛绝。所以当余鲤知道男朋友宋凌微喜欢的就是她的脸,呵呵,当然是狠狠教训了他一顿后分手!八年后,意外在保镖公司相遇,对方竟成了自己的同事兼上司。面对他死皮赖脸的求复合,余鲤决定用武力令对方放弃,却发现,自己好像打不过他了……“年年,这世上好看的皮囊千千万万,而令我心动的只有你一人。”余鲤能怎么办?当然是……选择喜欢他呀!
  • 月下锦楼,不见人归

    月下锦楼,不见人归

    他一鞭一鞭的打在她身上,细嫩的皮肤一瞬间绽开血花。严景凌,到底是不相信我,你终究还是不相信我。他说,商瑾,这一剑我要你记住。恰恰好的偏离了心房,刺在她胸口上的一间,穿破胸腔之后,在她身上留下了永久的咳疾。她在心中暗暗发誓,很好,这伤会永远提醒着我,提醒着你对我做的一切。--情节虚构,请勿模仿
  • 有点儿闲钱就能发财的创富模式

    有点儿闲钱就能发财的创富模式

    经商其实就是经营人脉,经营头脑,通晓时势与政策,洞悉由人性决定的规则甚至是潜规则。30个立体化创富故事的精彩演绎,让国学经典指导生意。本书让你在提高创业心理素质的同时,找到适合自己的创业项目;在深层次理解财富的基础上,建立性价比最高的投资理念,找到属于自己的生财之道。
  • 丢失在风里的爱

    丢失在风里的爱

    深夜,雨奈工作室里,坐在电脑前的慕静心正专心致志地敲击着面前的键盘,而整个工作室里安静得只听得见键盘与鼠标的声音“只想和你静度时光在每一个早上看见你和阳光都在………”铃声的响起,慕静心呼吸一滞,心跳突地加快,思绪也变得凌乱不堪。脑海里呈现出一个男人的面容,因为这个铃声是专门为他而设的。看着这烂熟于心的一行数字,手指在播听键上空挺顿许久,终于还是滑过。抬手将手机放在耳边,“下楼”专属于男性的声音从电话那边传来,熟悉而又陌生……
  • 苍穹独道

    苍穹独道

    身为一个孤儿,从小父母不在身边,被一个老头所收留,从小励志要找到他的父母。从而要解开自己的身世之谜。。。。
  • In the Footsteps of Crazy Horse