The vicinity of the young man he certainly relished， educated， distingué， and impulsive into the bargain， far and away the pick of the bunch， though you wouldn't think he had it in him... yet you would. Besides he said the picture was handsome which， say what you like， it was， though at the moment she was distinctly stouter. And why not？ An awful lot of make-believe went on about that sort of thing involving a lifelong slur with the usual splash page of letterpress about the same old matrimonial tangle alleging misconduct with professional golfer or the newest stage favourite instead of being honest and aboveboard about the whole business. How they were fated to meet and an attachment sprang up between the two so that their names were coupled in the public eye was told in court with letters containing the habitual mushy and compromising expressions， leaving no loophole， to show that they openly cohabited two or three times a week at some wellknown seaside hotel and relations， when the thing ran its normal course， became in due course intimate. Then the decree nisi and the King's Proctor to show cause why and， he failing to quash it， nisi was made absolute. But as for that， the two misdemeanants， wrapped up as they largely were in one another， could safely afford to ignore it as they very largely did till the matter was put in the hands of a solicitor， who filed a petition for the party wronged in due course. He， Bloom， enjoyed the distinction of being close to Erin's uncrowned king in the flesh when the thing occurred in the historic fracas when the fallen leader's - who notoriously stuck to his guns to the last drop even when clothed in the mantle of adultery - (leader's) trusty henchmen to the number of ten or a dozen or possibly even more than that penetrated into the printing works of the Insuppressible or no it was United Ireland (a by no means， by the by， appropriate appellative) and broke up the typecases with hammers or something like that all on account of some scurrilous effusions from the facile pens of the O'Brienite scribes at the usual mudslinging occupation， reflecting on the erstwhile tribune's private morals. Though palpably a radically altered man， he was still a commanding figure， though carelessly garbed as usual， with that look of settled purpose which went a long way with the shillyshallyers till they discovered to their vast discomfiture that their idol had feet of clay， after placing him upon a pedestal， which she， however， was the first to perceive. As those were particularly hot times in the general hullaballoo Bloom sustained a minor injury from a nasty prod of some chap's elbow in the crowd that of course congregated lodging some place about the pit of the stomach， fortunately not of a grave character. His hat (Parnell's) was inadvertently knocked off and， as a matter of strict history， Bloom was the man who picked it up in the crush after witnessing the occurrence meaning to return it to him (and return it to him he did with the utmost celerity) who， panting and hatless and whose thoughts were miles away from his hat at the time， being a gentleman born with a stake in the country， he， as a matter of fact， having gone into it more for the kudos of the thing than anything else， what's bred in the bone， instilled into him in infancy at his mother's knee in the shape of knowing what good form was came out at once because he turned round to the donor and thanked him with perfect aplomb， saying： Thank you， sir though in a very different tone of voice from the ornament of the legal profession whose headgear Bloom also set to rights earlier in the course of the day， history repeating itself with a difference； after the burial of a mutual friend when they had left him alone in his glory after the grim task of having committed his remains to the grave.
On the other hand what incensed him more inwardly was the blatant jokes of the cabmen and so on， who passed it all off as a jest， laughing immoderately， pretending to understand everything， the why and the wherefore， and in reality not knowing their own minds， it being a case for the two parties themselves unless it ensued that the legitimate husband happened to be a party to it owing to some anonymous letter from the usual boy Jones， who happened to come across them at the crucial moment in a loving position locked in one another's arms drawing attention to their illicit proceedings and leading up to a domestic rumpus and the erring fair one begging forgiveness of her lord and master upon her knees and promising to sever the connection and not receive his visits any more if only the aggrieved husband would overlook the matter and let bygones be bygones， with tears in her eyes， though possibly with her tongue in her fair cheek at the same time， as quite possibly there were several others. He personally， being of a sceptical bias， believed， and didn't make the smallest bones about saying so either， that man， or men in the plural， were always hanging around on the waiting list about a lady， even supposing she was the best wife in the world and they got on fairly well together for the sake of argument， when， neglecting her duties， she chose to be tired of wedded life， and was on for a little flutter in polite debauchery to press their attentions on her with improper intent， the upshot being that her affections centred on another， the cause of many liaisons between still attractive married women getting on for fair and forty and younger men， no doubt as several famous cases of feminine infatuation proved up to the hilt.
