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亿万星辰只于你
某记者:“薛少,在家一般谁说了算?”薛凡:“当然是我说了算,我说一老婆从不敢说二,我让她往东要是她敢往西,我上去就一巴掌。”这时旁边的颜夕轻咳嗽了两声,薛凡赶紧调整语气说:“好了,不说了,我老婆跟我承诺过,只要我把家务做完,工资上交,就允许我吹2分钟牛,时间快到了,我得回去暖床了,再见!”约会时,他说:你知道心与心之间最近的距离是什么吗?是拥抱!委屈时,他说:别怕,我长比你高不就为了天塌下来帮你顶着吗?求婚时,他说:言语无法表达,如果一定要概括,那就是我想跟你谈一场爱情,请判我一辈子属于你。她反问:你到底哪来的自信,觉得我会喜欢上你。他意味深长的一笑:因为,我会转弯啊。【1v1,双处双强】洛少的倾城影后
【温情似水卷】看到他和女人过度亲密的走在一起,她在拍卖会上一郑亿金,发泄怒火,事后她弱弱的问他:“我是不是太败家了。”某人微笑的答:“不会,我挣钱不给我老婆花给谁花,老婆不生气了吧,要是还生气,再拿我的卡去刷,刷爆为止,只要你高兴。”某女感动的扑进对方怀中,某男美人在怀,一夜涟漪。【娇妻如虎卷】“小洛洛,今天你家青梅出马找上门,说你们曾经海誓山盟、私定终身。”某女语气不善。某男正在愉快的啃着某女人的脖子,漫不经心道:“哦,你怎么回答的。”“我说你是我孩子的爸,早被我吃抹干净,让她有多远滚多远。”某男骄傲的道:“老婆回答的很好,那我们再给儿子添个妹妹吧。”说完,果断的扑倒、吃抹干净。
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Can I Sit on Your Lap While You're Pooping?
As a single dad, Matthew Carroll didn't always have someone to share in his frequent laughter and incredulity at the various things his daughter, Morgan, said. Hoping to docu?ment some of her best commentary, Carroll took to recording her choicest quotes on his iPhone when she was between the ages of three and five. He then compiled them chronologically in a small homemade volume for friends and family who, compelled by the hilarious and touching content, encouraged him to share it with a larger audience. Can I Sit on Your Lap While You're Pooping? is the record of the hilarious, crazy, and touching pronouncements of a little girl, but it's also the irresistible documentation of the love between a parent and child.