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战神夫君嗜宠特工魔妃
她是黑道女王,生杀予夺,心狠手辣。她是大越国孤女,目睹父母死亡真相,叔伯眼中钉,祖母姨母肉中刺,性情大变,贪慕虚荣,出卖弟弟,阿谀奉承,只为活下去。当她成了她——护弟弟,谋生存,建势力,誓要站在世界巅峰,无人敢欺!面对势利眼渣男,冷冷一笑:“听闻王爷扬言,宁娶蛤蟆女,不娶马屁凌琉玥。”某王爷鄙夷,懒洋洋的说道:“的确如此。”“城南商家女自小被毒物伤着脸,头大如牛,满脸脓疮包,是为蛤蟆女。我不忍心棒打鸳鸯,未免遭天谴,已经将信物送给她,不日皇上将会下旨赐婚。”凌琉玥潇洒挥手而去。徒留满面阴沉、满脸狰狞的狗男女,大眼瞪小眼。++++他是战神王爷,铁血无情,狂妄霸道。人人避之不及的嗜血狂魔!当两人相遇,天雷勾地火——一朝失足,砸落浴池,‘坦诚相对’,千钧一发,雷霆之势,扣住对方命脉。“女人,你命够大!”男人掐着某女的脖颈,散发着森寒之气,杀意骤现!某女勾唇,握上男人的命根,妩媚一笑,却不达眼底:“男人,你胆够肥!”“女人,本王欣赏你!”男子目光邪肆,满室春光尽收眼底。某女邪佞一笑,捏了捏某处,“嗯,我也很满意你的尺寸!”【片段一】面对某男的求婚,某女不淡定了。“你食血养颜!”某女眼皮不抬的拒绝。“你吃肉明目!”某男反驳,瞧!他们多配?“我一无所有,喜欢作恶多端!”某女面不改色。“我什么都有,缺人为虎作伥!”某男应对自如,多么互补?于是,某女略微沉吟,便和他‘狼狈为奸,鸡鸣狗盗’,横行于帝京,有仇报仇,有怨抱怨。百官人人惊惶不安,仇家夜夜难眠。齐齐上告御状请求皇上腰斩魔女。翌日,谏言者全都腰斩于家中,面对众人愤怒的讨伐。某女悠然的啜着茶水:“嗯,王爷隐疾犯了,要食人血!”拜托,她很无辜!【片段二】某日,凌府招婿,大摆擂台。“女人,别惹怒我!”某男脸色阴沉,气势汹汹。某女淡定自若:“你们皇家想得美,我弟弟入赘,不可三妻四妾。难不成还要我也嫁入皇家,凌家偌大的财产充公?天下间,哪有这等美事?”“你要如何?”“皇帝老儿拿个儿子换我弟弟,同样不许三妻四妾。”“好!”某男眼底染上笑意,脸色却冷冽如冰。“你下聘。”“好。”“我娶。”“…”大婚当日,某女身着新郎服,骑着大马,悠哉游哉去战王府接亲。身高八尺男儿,身着新娘服,盖头遮面,众人当场笑尿。“闭嘴!”阴寒之气隐露,咬牙切齿。妖非善类
妖魅祸乱,流浪江湖,她阴差阳错成了无心阁的降妖师,斩妖除魔,不为正义,只为钱财。孰不知,比妖魅更难搞定的,是同行结伴的大神,哦不,是瘟神。一身水墨青衫,一柄折扇,一双狐狸媚眼,身如玉树,衣袂翩然。他是无心阁传说级别的大神高手,可品性和外表相差甚远。行李她背,地板她睡,打架她上。而他呢?悠然自得地倚靠着大树,一旁鼓舞助威。——“你就不怕哪天我直接被一巴掌呼死了?”——“我这是为你好,武功这么弱就该锻炼锻炼。”——“谢谢您老人家,不如您直接把我丢过去,直接把对方砸死,连打架的功夫都省了。”——“嗯~好主意。”骇人听闻的狼女食人案、离奇诡异的童男童女失踪案、身披嫁衣的狂暴妖魅、扑朔迷迷的“瀛洲”仙岛……拨开层层迷雾,触碰的真相却是一步步将她推入深渊的陷阱。不曾想过有一天,她会众叛亲离,堕入万劫不复的深渊,成为世人皆诛的——恶女。Can I Sit on Your Lap While You're Pooping?
As a single dad, Matthew Carroll didn't always have someone to share in his frequent laughter and incredulity at the various things his daughter, Morgan, said. Hoping to docu?ment some of her best commentary, Carroll took to recording her choicest quotes on his iPhone when she was between the ages of three and five. He then compiled them chronologically in a small homemade volume for friends and family who, compelled by the hilarious and touching content, encouraged him to share it with a larger audience. Can I Sit on Your Lap While You're Pooping? is the record of the hilarious, crazy, and touching pronouncements of a little girl, but it's also the irresistible documentation of the love between a parent and child.