That afternoon, I felt like there was cold air hissing out of the top of my head, as if all my energy was gathering together and wanted to burst out! I've forgotten now what else I said to her. But I know I was intoxicated.
Everyone is intoxicated at some point, but the style varies. I'm sure you can't imagine what I was like after I fell for her. I went to the sports ground to run like a madman, every day for a week. Mei Cun. Her name is Mei Cun … She lived in the front block of the girls' dormitories, directly opposite the main college sports ground. I broke with my previous habit and bought myself a suit of red sportswear, put it on, and went out there to run in a mad daze. I was a headless chicken throughout those seven days, I couldn't even walk steadily, but I kept on running. When the first bell rang in the mornings, I whizzed round the electricity block and the students' dorms and leapt up onto the sports ground in a frenzy, just to try and catch a glimpse of her! Until the bell for lights out rang in the evenings, I would still be there running round the ground—just to catch a glimpse of her!
Oh God—all in all I only spotted her three times.
At the side of the ground was a washing area, a cement platform on which was installed a tap for students to wash their faces and rinse their mouths. The first time was early in the morning. I saw her when she had just got up, and was carrying a wash basin out of her bedroom. Her hair was tied up in a simple ponytail, and there she stood on the platform washing her face. I adjusted the speed of my jogging, so that just at the moment when she raised her head, I was running past the platform. I raised my hand, and very restrainedly called out to her.
"Good morning."
She looked at me, smiled, and said, "Hello, Mr. Wu. Jogging?"
"Yeah … getting some exercise," I said. And then I waved again and slowly jogged on.
At that moment there were still some water droplets clinging to her face, which was still flushed from sleep. Her face looked like a rosy crab apple hung with sparkling, crystalline pearls of water, and her smile was etched deep into my heart.
The second time I saw her was in the evening. I just saw a dim silhouette of her, handsome like an ancient poet's poem about the jade tree facing the storm, or like a lotus flower in the heat of summer, or a flowering apple at harvest time. Although it was a long way off, it made me very happy … When I jogged on the sports ground, I was completely out of it, as if possessed: all I could see in my mind was her outline.
The third time was at dusk, outside the raked-stage lecture hall. She was standing on the steps, smiling at me slightly, and a ray of light hit me. I was a flimsy piece of silk ripped by a whistling arrow. I was head over heels in love with her. I very nearly lost my mind! Once in the middle of the night, I simply couldn't bear it any longer. Like I was being driven by a demon or a God, I dashed over to her bedroom, and knocked loudly on her door … But at the last moment, a voice called out "Who's there?" and scared me back to my senses. My heart hammering, I turned and fled at one breath back to the grove of poplar trees to the south of the sports ground. Once I felt safe, I gasped for breath and silently cursed myself with the most filthy language. But my curses did nothing to extinguish my wicked desires. All night long I ran round the ground, shouting out her name inside my heart. Mei Cun! Mei Cun! Mei Cun!
Tell me, could you withstand such a temptation? Who can resist such a temptation?!
Listen. I withstood it.
On the eighth day, the eighth day after I had met her, do you know what I realised? I realised my own poverty. My complete and utter, abject poverty. I had not hesitated to sacrifice my dignity in joining a hygiene inspection team that was checking the dormitories. Under the pretext of hygiene I got into her bedroom. In the room were four bunk beds, eight beds altogether. Mei Cun's was a lower bunk in the middle of the room, next to the window.
I only stood in front of her faintly sweet-smelling bed for ten seconds (Oh, how I longed to lie down on it!). A simple but elegant blue and white princess-pattern sheet was spread on her bed, and along its edge was a strip of bedspread made of towelling. I saw a fancy suitcase on the shelf by her headboard, made of leather. Her clothes were stacked up in piles on the suitcase, and they were, I was shocked to see, in matching sets! Her quilt was folded neatly on the headboard, and—oh goodness—it was made of that kind of very expensive silk wadding that was hard to find in the markets back then … Under the bed was a pair of delicate T-shaped shoes with little heels … also the expensive sort. On her desk, apart from textbooks and set texts, there were also journals like Popular Movies and Poetry Digest that she must have subscribed for herself. And I saw that she was the kind of girl who liked to eat snacks. On the windowsill was an iron biscuit tin with a colourful patterned label, and there was a tin of milk powder and "White Rabbit" toffees, and there was an entire fleet of little bottles, full of things like "Meijiajing snow fungus nourishing face cream" , and hair shampoos, and so on. It was all made in Shanghai. This was in the eighties, when these things were the most high-end, costly luxury goods.
This is how I got an indirect insight into her situation: she came from a very well-off family, and her grades were excellent. She had a strong sense of her own superiority, and she was the only student in the class who brought an allowance to school. When I had seen all this, I immediately felt anxiety grip my heart: Heavens above, can I afford to keep this woman?
After a night of painful consideration, I told myself several times: You want to become an urbanite, you like her so very much, and you want to conquer this city. So you have to have a long-term strategy, a "game plan" . Go steadily, you mustn't be hasty.
