HORSE-COURSER. 0, what a cozening doctor was this! I, riding my horse into the water, thinking some hidden mystery had been in the horse, I had nothing under me but a little straw, and had much ado to escape drowning. Well, I'll go rouse him, and make him give me my forty dollars again.--Ho, sirrah Doctor, you cozening scab! Master Doctor, awake, and rise, and give me my money again, for your horse is turned to a bottle of hay, Master Doctor! [He pulls off FAUSTUS' leg]. Alas, I am undone! what shall I do? I have pulled off his leg.
FAUSTUS. O, help, help! the villain hath murdered me.
HORSE-COURSER. Murder or not murder, now he has but one leg, I'll outrun him, and cast this leg into some ditch or other. [Aside, and then runs out.]
FAUSTUS. Stop him, stop him, stop him!--Ha, ha, ha! Faustus hath his leg again, and the Horse-courser a bundle of hay for his forty dollars.
Enter WAGNER.
How now, Wagner! what news with thee?
WAGNER. If it please you, the Duke of Vanholt doth earnestly entreat your company, and hath sent some of his men to attend you, with provision fit for your journey.
FAUSTUS. The Duke of Vanholt's an honourable gentleman, and one to whom I must be no niggard of my cunning. Come, away! [Exeunt.
Enter ROBIN, DICK, the HORSE-COURSER, and a CARTER.
CARTER. Come, my masters, I'll bring you to the best beer in Europe.--What, ho, hostess! where be these whores?
Enter HOSTESS.
HOSTESS. How now! what lack you?What, my old guess! welcome.
ROBIN. Sirrah Dick, dost thou know why I stand so mute? DICK. No, Robin:why is't?
ROBIN. I am eighteen-pence on the score. but say nothing; see if she have forgotten me.
HOSTESS. Who's this that stands so solemnly by himself?What, my old guest!
ROBIN. O, hostess, how do you?I hope my score stands still.
HOSTESS. Ay, there's no doubt of that; for methinks you make no haste to wipe it out.
DICK. Why, hostess, I say, fetch us some beer.
HOSTESS. You shall presently.--Look up into the hall there, ho! [Exit.--Drink is presently brought in.]
DICK. Come, sirs, what shall we do now till mine hostess comes?
CARTER. Marry, sir, I'll tell you the bravest tale how a conjurer served me.You know Doctor Faustus?
HORSE-COURSER. Ay, a plague take him! here's some on's have cause to know him.Did he conjure thee too?
CARTER. I'll tell you how he served me. As I was going to Wittenberg, t'other day, with a load of hay, he met me, and asked me what he should give me for as much hay as he could eat. Now, sir, I thinking that a little would serve his turn, bad him take as much as he would for three farthings: so he presently gave me my money and fell to eating; and, as I am a cursen man, he never left eating till he had eat up all my load of hay.
ALL. O, monstrous! eat a whole load of hay!
ROBIN. Yes, yes, that may be; for I have heard of one that has eat a load of logs.
HORSE-COURSER. Now, sirs, you shall hear how villanously heserved me. I went to him yesterday to buy a horse of him, and he would by no means sell him under forty dollars. So, sir, because I knew him to be such a horse as would run over hedge and ditch and never tire, I gave him his money. So, when I had my horse, Doctor Faustus bad me ride him night and day, and spare him no time; but, quoth he, in any case, ride him not into the water. Now, sir, I thinking the horse had had some quality that he would not have me know of, what did I but rid him into a great river? and when I came just in the midst, my horse vanished away, and I sate straddling upon a bottle of hay.
ALL. O, brave doctor!
HORSE-COURSER. But you shall hear how bravely I served him for it. I went me home to his house, and there I found him asleep. I kept a hallooing and whooping in his ears; but all could not wake him. I, seeing that, took him by the leg, and never rested pulling till I had pulled me his leg quite off; and now 'tis at home in mine hostry.
ROBIN. And has the doctor but one leg, then? that's excellent; for one of his devils turned me into the likeness of an ape's face.
CARTER. Some more drink, hostess!
ROBIN. Hark you, we'll into another room and drink a while, and then we'll go seek out the doctor. [Exeunt.]
Enter the DUKE OF VANHOLT, his DUCHESS, FAUSTUS, MEPHISTOPHILIS, and ATTENDANTS.
DUKE. Thanks, Master Doctor, for these pleasant sights; nor know I how sufficiently to recompense your great deserts in erecting that enchanted castle in the air, the sight whereof so delighted me as nothing in the world could please me more.
FAUSTUS. I do think myself, my good lord, highly recompensed in that it pleaseth your grace to think but well of that which Faustus hath performed.--But, gracious lady, it may be that you have taken no pleasure in those sights; therefore, I pray you tell me, what is the thing you most desire to have; be it in the world, it shall be yours: I have heard that great-bellied women do long for things are rare and dainty.
DUCHESS. True, Master Doctor; and, since I find you so kind, I will make known unto you what my heart desires to have; and, were it nowsummer, as it is January, a dead time of the winter, I would request no better meat than a dish of ripe grapes.
FAUSTUS. This is but a small matter.--Go, Mephistophilis; away! [Exit MEPHISTOPHILIS.] Madam, I will do more than this for your content.
Re-Enter MEPHISTOPHILIS with grapes.
Here now, taste you these: they should be good, for they come from a far country, I can tell you.
DUKE. This makes me wonder more than all the rest, that at this time of the year, when every tree is barren of his fruit, from whence you had these ripe grapes.
FAUSTUS. Please it your grace, the year is divided into two circles over the whole world; so that, when it is winter with us, in the contrary circle it is likewise summer with them, as in India, Saba, and such countries that lie far east, where they have fruit twice a-year; from whence, by means of a swift spirit that I have, I had these grapes brought, as you see.
DUCHESS. And, trust me, they are the sweetest grapes that e'er I tasted.
