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第43章

"You might say, 'I told you so!' but you will not do that.Nevertheless, you were right to seek to stop this unfortunate man last night, and he was terribly mistaken.No being from another world had anything to do with his death.If we granted that, there is an end of religious faith.""We can be sure of it, father.Evil spirits would have had no power over Mr.May, if there is a just God in heaven.""Then it is something else.If not a spirit, then a living man - a human devil - and the police will discover him.In this house, one we have known and trusted; for all are known and trusted.They will blame me, with good reason, for sacrificing another life.The irony of fate that I, of all men, one so much alive to the meaning of mercy - that I, out of superstitious folly - But how will it look in the eyes of justice? Black - black! I am well prepared to suffer what I have deserved, Mary.Nothing that man can do to me equals the shame and dismay I feel when I consider what I have done to myself!""You must not talk so; it is unworthy of you.You know it, father, while you speak.Nobody has a right to question you or your opinions.Many would have been convinced by Mr.May last night.They may still think that he was right, and that, far from receiving evil treatment, he was blessed by being taken away into the next world without pain or shock.We must feel for him as we try to feel for dear Tom.And I do not mean that I am sorry for him; I am only sorry for us, because of the difficulty of explaining.Yet to tell the truth will not be difficult.They must do the best they can.It doesn't matter as much as you think.Indeed, how should they blame you at all until they themselves find out the truth?""They will - they must! They will discover the reason.They will hunt down the murderer, and they will inevitably attach utmost blame to me for listening to a man possessed.May was possessed, I tell you!""He was exceedingly convincing.When I listened to him he shook me, too.""I should have supported you, instead of going over to him.""He knows the truth now.He is with Tom now.We must remember that.We know they are happy, and that makes the opinion of living people matter very little."Then, out of his weakness, he smote her, and thrust upon her some hours of agony, very horrible in their nature, which there was no good reason that Mary should have suffered.

"Who is alive and who is dead?" he asked."We don't even know that.

The police demanded to make their own inquiries, and Peter Hardcastle may at this moment be a living and breathing man, if they are right."She stared at him and feared for his reason."What do you mean?""I mean that they were not prepared to grant that he was dead.Henry and Mannering took him up on that assumption.He may have been restored to animation and his vital forces recovered.Why not? There was nothing visible to indicate dissolution.We have heard of trances, catalepsies, which simulate death so closely that even physicians are deceived.Have not men been buried alive? Tom's father at this moment might be restored to life, if we only knew how to act.""Then - " she said, with horrified eyes, and stopped.He saw what he had done.

"God forgive me! No, no, not that, Mary! It's all madness and moonshine! This is delirium; it will kill me! Don't think I believe them, any more than Mannering did, or Henry did.Henry has seen much death; he could not have been deceived.Tom was dead, and your heart told you he was dead.One cannot truly make any mistake in the presence of death; I know that."Mary was marvellously restrained, despite the fact that she had received this appalling blow and vividly suffered all that it implied.

"I will try to put it out of my mind, father," she said quietly."But if Mr.Hardcastle is alive, I shall go mad!""He is not.Mannering was positive."

"Nevertheless, he may be.And if he is, then Mr.May probably is." "Grotesque, horrible, worse than death even!Keep your mind awayfrom it, my darling, for the love of God!""Who knows what we can suffer till we are called to find out? No, I shall not go mad.But I must know to-day.I cannot eat or sleep until I know.I shall not live long if they don't tell me quickly."Her father trembled and grew very white.

"This is the worst of all," he said."These things will leave a burning brand.I am ruined by them, and my life thrown down.I, that thought I was strong, prove so weak that I can forget my own daughter, and out ofcowardly misery speak of a thing she should never have known.You have your revenge, Mary, for I shall go a broken man from this hour.Nothing can ever be the same again.My self-respect is gone.I could have endured everything else - the things that I dreaded.All I could have suffered and survived; but to have forgotten and stabbed you - ""Don't, don't - come - we have got each other, father - we have still got each other.The dead understand everything.Who else matters?Go to your room, and let your dear mind rest.I am not suffering.We cannot alter the past, and who would wish it, if they believe in eternal life? I would not call Tom back if I had the power to do so.Be sure of that."She spoke comfortable words to him, and supported him to his room.She knew the police would soon arrive, and though they could not report concerning the life, or death, of Peter Hardcastle, she doubted not that definite information relating to him must come to Chadlands quickly.Upon that another life might hang.Yet, when the medical man arrived from Newton, he could only say that Septimus May was dead.He was a friend of Mannering, and knew the London opinion, that this form of apparent death might in reality conceal latent possibilities of resuscitation; but he spoke with absolute certainty.He was old, and had nearly fifty years of professional experience behind him.

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