"For example, how have the fatigues and pains of my afternoon's chopping contributed a particle toward the suppression of the rebellion? What have my blistered hands to do with the hurts of actual conflict?""Let us admit that the connection is somewhat obscure," said Doctor Denslow, philosophically.
"It is easier for you, than for me, to view the matter calmly.Your hands are unhurt.I am the galled jade whose withers are wrung.""Body and spirit both bruised?" said the Surgeon, half reflectively.
Harry colored."Yes," he said, rather defiantly."In addition to desiring to serve my country, I want to vindicate my manhood from some aspersions which have been cast upon it.""Quite a fair showing of motives.Better, perhaps, than usual, when a careful weighing of the relative proportions of self-esteem, self-interest and higher impulses is made.""I am free to say that the discouragements I have met with are very different, and perhaps much greater than I contemplated.Nor can I bring myself to belived tha they are necessary.I am trying to be entirely willing to peril life and limb on the field of battle, but instead of placing me where I can do this, and allowing me to concentrate all my energies upon that object, I am kept for months chafing under the petty tyrannies of a bullying officer, and deprived of most of the comforts that I have heretofore regarded as necessary to my existence.What good can be accomplished by diverting forces which should be devoted to the main struggle into this ignoble channel? That's what puzzles and irritates me.""It seems to be one of the inseperable conditions of the higher forms of achievement that they require vastly more preparation for them than the labor of doing them.""That's no doubt very philosophical, but it's not satisfactory, for all that.""My dear boy, learn this grand truth now: That philosophy is never satisfactory; it is only mitigatory.It consists mainly in saying with many fine words: 'What can't be cured must be endured.'""I presume that is so.I wish, though, that by the mere syaing so, I could make the endurance easier.""I can make your lot in the service easier.""Indeed! how so?"
"By having you appointed my Hospital Steward.I have not secured one yet, and the man who is acting as such is so intemperate that I feel a fresh sense of escape with every day that passes without his mistaking the oxalic axid for Epsom salts, to the destruction of some earnest but constipated young patriot's whole digestive viscera.
"If you accept this position," continued the Surgeon, flinging away his refractory cigar in disgust, and rising to get a fresh one, "you will have the best rank and pay of any non-commissioned officer in the regiment; better, ineed, than that of a Second Lieutenant.
You will have your quarters here with me, and be compelled to associate with no one but me, thus reducing your disagreeable companions at a single stroke, to one.And you will escape finally from all subserviency to Lieutenant Alspaugh, or indeed to any other officer in the regiment, except your humble servant.As to food, you will mess with me.""Those are certainly very strong inducements," said Harry, meditating upon the delightfulness of relief from the myriad of rasping little annoyances which rendered every day of camp-life an infliction.
"Yes, and still farther, you will never need to go under fire, or expose yourself to danger of any kind, unless you choose to."Harry's face crimsoned to the hue of the western sky where the sun was just going down.He started to answer hotly, but an understanding of the Surgeon's evident kindness and sincerity interposed to deter him.He knew there was no shaft of sarcasm hidden below this plain speech, and after a moment's consideration he replied:
"I am very grateful, I assure you, for your kindness in this matter.I am strongly tempted to accept your offer, bu there are still stronger reasons why I should decline it.""May I ask your reasons?"
"My reasons for not accepting the appointment?""Yes, the reasons which impel you to prefer a dinner of bitter herbs, under Mr.Alspaugh's usually soiled thumb, to a stalled ox and my profitable society," said the Surgeon, gayly.
Harry hesitated a moment, and then decided to speak frankly."Yes,"he said, "your kindness gives you the right to know.To not tell you would show a lack of gratitude.I made a painful blunder before in not staying unflinchingly with my company.The more I think of it, the more I regret it, and the more I am decided not to repeat it, but abide with my comrades and share their fate in all things.
I feel that I no longer have a choice in the matter; I must do it.
But there goes the drum for roll-call.I must go.Good evening, and very many thanks.""The young fellow's no callow milksop, after all," said the Surgeon Denslow, as his eyes followed Harry's retreating form."His gristle is hardening into something like his stern old father's backbone."
