Leonard--he would figure at length in a newspaper report,but that evening he did not count for much.The foot of the tree was in shadow,since the moon was still hidden behind the house.But above,to right,to left,down the long meadow the moonlight was streaming.Leonard seemed not a man,but a cause.
Perhaps it was Helen's way of falling in love--a curious way to Margaret,whose agony and whose contempt of Henry were yet imprinted with his image.Helen forgot people.They were husks that had enclosed her emotion.She could pity,or sacrifice herself,or have instincts,but had she ever loved in the noblest way,where man and woman,having lost themselves in sex,desire to lose sex itself in comradeship?
Margaret wondered,but said no word of blame.
This was Helen's evening.Troubles enough lay ahead of her--the loss of friends and of social advantages,the agony,the supreme agony,of motherhood,which is even yet not a matter of common knowledge.For the present let the moon shine brightly and the breezes of the spring blow gently,dying away from the gale of the day,and let the earth,who brings increase,bring peace.Not even to herself dare she blame Helen.She could not assess her trespass by any moral code;it was everything or nothing.
Morality can tell us that murder is worse than stealing,and group most sins in an order all must approve,but it cannot group Helen.The surer its pronouncements on this point,the surer may we be that morality is not speaking.Christ was evasive when they questioned Him.
It is those that cannot connect who hasten to cast the first stone.
This was Helen's evening--won at what cost,and not to be marred by the sorrows of others.Of her own tragedy Margaret never uttered a word.
"One isolates,"said Helen slowly."I isolated Mr.Wilcox from the other forces that were pulling Leonard downhill.
Consequently,I was full of pity,and almost of revenge.For weeks I had blamed Mr.Wilcox only,and so,when your letters came--""I need never have written them,"sighed Margaret.
"They never shielded Henry.How hopeless it is to tidy away the past,even for others!""I did not know that it was your own idea to dismiss the Basts.""Looking back,that was wrong of me."
"Looking back,darling,I know that it was right.
It is right to save the man whom one loves.I am less enthusiastic about justice now.But we both thought you wrote at his dictation.
It seemed the last touch of his callousness.Being very much wrought up by this time--and Mrs.Bast was upstairs.I had not seen her,and had talked for a long time to Leonard--I had snubbed him for no reason,and that should have warned me I was in danger.So when the notes came I wanted us to go to you for an explanation.He said that he guessed the explanation--he knew of it,and you mustn't know.I pressed him to tell me.He said no one must know;it was something to do with his wife.Right up to the end we were Mr.Bast and Miss Schlegel.
I was going to tell him that he must be frank with me when I saw his eyes,and guessed that Mr.Wilcox had ruined him in two ways,not one.
I drew him to me.I made him tell me.I felt very lonely myself.
He is not to blame.He would have gone on worshipping me.Iwant never to see him again,though it sounds appalling.I wanted to give him money and feel finished.Oh,Meg,the little that is known about these things!"She laid her face against the tree.
"The little,too,that is known about growth!
Both times it was loneliness,and the night,and panic afterwards.
Did Leonard grow out of Paul?"
