'Let Asenath come,' she answered, 'dear Asenath! At this hour, when I am purified of fear and sorrow, and already survive myself and my affections, it is for your sake, and not for mine, that I desire her presence. Were she shut out, dear friend, it is to be feared she might misjudge your kindness.'
'Mother,' I cried wildly, 'mother, what is this?'
But my mother, with her radiant smile, said only 'Hush!' as though I were a child again, and tossing in some fever-fit; and the doctor bade me be silent and trouble her no more.
'You have made a choice,' he continued, addressing my mother, 'that has often strangely tempted me. The two extremes: all, or else nothing; never, or this very hour upon the clock - these have been my incongruous desires. But to accept the middle term, to be content with a half-gift, to flicker awhile and to burn out - never for an hour, never since I was born, has satisfied the appetite of my ambition.' He looked upon my mother fixedly, much of admiration and some touch of envy in his eyes; then, with a profound sigh, he led the way into the inner room.
It was very long. From end to end it was lit up by many lamps, which by the changeful colour of their light, and by the incessant snapping sounds with which they burned, I have since divined to be electric. At the extreme end an open door gave us a glimpse into what must have been a lean-to shed beside the chimney; and this, in strong contrast to the room, was painted with a red reverberation as from furnace-doors. The walls were lined with books and glazed cases, the tables crowded with the implements of chemical research; great glass accumulators glittered in the light; and through a hole in the gable near the shed door, a heavy driving-belt entered the apartment and ran overhead upon steel pulleys, with clumsy activity and many ghostly and fluttering sounds.
In one corner I perceived a chair resting upon crystal feet, and curiously wreathed with wire. To this my mother advanced with a decisive swiftness.
'Is this it?' she asked.
The doctor bowed in silence.
'Asenath,' said my mother, 'in this sad end of my life I have found one helper. Look upon him: it is Doctor Grierson. Be not, oh my daughter, be not ungrateful to that friend!'
She sate upon the chair, and took in her hands the globes that terminated the arms.
'Am I right?' she asked, and looked upon the doctor with such a radiancy of face that I trembled for her reason. Once more the doctor bowed, but this time leaning hard against the wall. He must have touched a spring. The least shock agitated my mother where she sat; the least passing jar appeared to cross her features; and she sank back in the chair like one resigned to weariness. I was at her knees that moment; but her hands fell loosely in my grasp; her face, still beatified with the same touching smile, sank forward on her bosom: her spirit had for ever fled.
I do not know how long may have elapsed before, raising for a moment my tearful face, I met the doctor's eyes. They rested upon mine with such a depth of scrutiny, pity, and interest, that even from the freshness of my sorrow, I was startled into attention.
'Enough,' he said, 'to lamentation. Your mother went to death as to a bridal, dying where her husband died. It is time, Asenath, to think of the survivors. Follow me to the next room.'
I followed him, like a person in a dream; he made me sit by the fire, he gave me wine to drink; and then, pacing the stone floor, he thus began to address me - 'You are now, my child, alone in the world, and under the immediate watch of Brigham Young. It would be your lot, in ordinary circumstances, to become the fiftieth bride of some ignoble elder, or by particular fortune, as fortune is counted in this land, to find favour in the eyes of the President himself. Such a fate for a girl like you were worse than death; better to die as your mother died than to sink daily deeper in the mire of this pit of woman's degradation. But is escape conceivable? Your father tried; and you beheld yourself with what security his jailers acted, and how a dumb drawing on a rock was counted a sufficient sentry over the avenues of freedom. Where your father failed, will you be wiser or more fortunate? or are you, too, helpless in the toils?'
I had followed his words with changing emotion, but now I believed I understood.
'I see,' I cried; 'you judge me rightly. I must follow where my parents led; and oh! I am not only willing, I am eager!'
'No,' replied the doctor, 'not death for you. The flawed vessel we may break, but not the perfect. No, your mother cherished a different hope, and so do I. I see,' he cried, 'the girl develop to the completed woman, the plan reach fulfilment, the promise - ay, outdone! I could not bear to arrest so lively, so comely a process. It was your mother's thought,' he added, with a change of tone, 'that I should marry you myself.' I fear I must have shown a perfect horror of aversion from this fate, for he made haste to quiet me.
'Reassure yourself, Asenath,' he resumed. 'Old as I am, I have not forgotten the tumultuous fancies of youth. I have passed my days, indeed, in laboratories; but in all my vigils I have not forgotten the tune of a young pulse. Age asks with timidity to be spared intolerable pain; youth, taking fortune by the beard, demands joy like a right. These things I have not forgotten; none, rather, has more keenly felt, none more jealously considered them; I have but postponed them to their day. See, then: you stand without support; the only friend left to you, this old investigator, old in cunning, young in sympathy. Answer me but one question: Are you free from the entanglement of what the world calls love?
Do you still command your heart and purposes? or are you fallen in some bond-slavery of the eye and ear?'
I answered him in broken words; my heart, I think I must have told him, lay with my dead parents.
