登陆注册
5254700000020

第20章 CHAPTER VI(4)

"I feel like a fool all the time." I looked up at him. This was going very far--for Brierly--when talking of Brierly. He stopped short, and seizing the lapel of my coat, gave it a slight tug. "Why are we tormenting that young chap?" he asked. This question chimed in so well to the tolling of a certain thought of mine that, with the image of the absconding renegade in my eye, I answered at once, "Hanged if I know, unless it be that he lets you." I was astonished to see him fall into line, so to speak, with that utterance, which ought to have been tolerably cryptic. He said angrily, "Why, yes. Can't he see that wretched skipper of his has cleared out? What does he expect to happen? Nothing can save him. He's done for." We walked on in silence a few steps. "Why eat all that dirt?" he exclaimed, with an oriental energy of expression--about the only sort of energy you can find a trace of east of the fiftieth meridian. I wondered greatly at the direction of his thoughts, but now I strongly suspect it was strictly in character: at bottom poor Brierly must have been thinking of himself. Ipointed out to him that the skipper of the Patna was known to have feathered his nest pretty well, and could procure almost anywhere the means of getting away. With Jim it was otherwise: the Government was keeping him in the Sailors' Home for the time being, and probably he hadn't a penny in his pocket to bless himself with. It costs some money to run away. "Does it? Not always," he said, with a bitter laugh, and to some further remark of mine--"Well, then, let him creep twenty feet underground and stay there!

By heavens! I would." I don't know why his tone provoked me, and I said, "There is a kind of courage in facing it out as he does, knowing very well that if he went away nobody would trouble to run after him.""Courage be hanged!" growled Brierly. "That sort of courage is of no use to keep a man straight, and I don't care a snap for such courage. If you were to say it was a kind of cowardice now--of softness. I tell you what, I will put up two hundred rupees if you put up another hundred and undertake to make the beggar clear out early to-morrow morning. The fellow's a gentleman if he ain't fit to be touched--he will understand. He must! This infernal publicity is too shocking: there he sits while all these confounded natives, serangs, lascars, quarter-masters, are giving evidence that's enough to burn a man to ashes with shame. This is abominable. Why, Marlow, don't you think, don't you feel, that this is abominable; don't you now--come--as a seaman? If he went away all this would stop at once." Brierly said those words with a most unusual animation, and made as if to reach after his pocket-book. I restrained him, and declared coldly that the cowardice of these four men did not seem to me a matter of such great importance. "And you call yourself a seaman, I suppose," he pronounced, angrily. I said that's what I called myself, and I hoped I was too. He heard me out, and made a gesture with his big arm that seemed to deprive me of my individuality, to push me away into the crowd. "The worst of it," he said, "is that all you fellows have no sense of dignity; you don't think enough of what you are supposed to be."`We had been walking slowly meantime, and now stopped opposite the harbour office, in sight of the very spot from which the immense captain of the Patna had vanished as utterly as a tiny feather blown away in a hurricane. I smiled. Brierly went on: "This is a disgrace. We've got all kinds amongst us--some anointed scoundrels in the lot; but, hang it, we must preserve professional decency or we become no better than so many tinkers going about loose. We are trusted. Do you understand?--trusted!

Frankly, I don't care a snap for all the pilgrims that ever came out of Asia, but a decent man would not have behaved like this to a full cargo of old rags in bales. We aren't an organized body of men, and the only thing that holds us together is just the name for that kind of decency.

Such an affair destroys one's confidence. A man may go pretty near through his whole sea-life without any call to show a stiff upper lip. But when the call comes . . . Aha! . . . If I . . ."`He broke off, and in a changed tone, "I'll give you two hundred rupees now, Marlow, and you just talk to that chap. Confound him! I wish he had never come out here. Fact is, I rather think some of my people know his.

The old man's a parson, and I remember now I met him once when staying with my cousin in Essex last year. If I am not mistaken, the old chap seemed rather to fancy his sailor son. Horrible. I can't do it myself--but you . . ."`Thus, apropos of Jim, I had a glimpse of the real Brierly a few days before he committed his reality and his sham together to the keeping of the sea. Of course I declined to meddle. The tone of this last "but you"(poor Brierly couldn't help it), that seemed to imply I was no more noticeable than an insect, caused me to look at the proposal with indignation, and on account of that provocation, or for some other reason, I became positive in my mind that the inquiry was a severe punishment to that Jim, and that his facing it--practically of his own free will--was a redeeming feature in his abominable case. I hadn't been so sure of it before. Brierly went off in a huff. At the time his state of mind was more of a mystery to me than it is now.

`Next day, coming into court late, I sat by myself. Of course I could not forget the conversations I had with Brierly, and now I had them both under my eyes. The demeanour of one suggested gloomy impudence and of the other a contemptuous boredom; yet one attitude might not have been truer than the other, and I was aware that one was not true. Brierly was not bored--he was exasperated; and if so, then Jim might not have been impudent.

同类推荐
  • 道德真经注

    道德真经注

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 掌中论

    掌中论

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 南部新书

    南部新书

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 蜕庵集

    蜕庵集

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 山海经校注

    山海经校注

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 勋染一生熏冉一世

    勋染一生熏冉一世

    他转过头,看着她,她也不知所措了,突然,他抱住她,说了一句话:你很特别,我喜欢你这样的女孩。。。。。。。
  • 果果的婚事

    果果的婚事

    果果遇上方博南,她想,在对的时间,一个不错的男人。方博南看见果果,思忖,南方姑娘真禁老,二十七岁竟是个水灵灵的小姑娘。江南小女子遇上东北大男人,彼此都觉得这姻缘新鲜漂亮。谁料想这南腔北调,落到实打实的日子里,竟这般悲喜交加,五味杂陈……初次见面那天,果果从商场直奔相亲现场,身上的蓝色长裙商标没来得及剪,毛刺刺地戳着她的脖子一个晚上。很多年后。果果常想,自己与方博南的这一场婚姻,就如同最初见面时她穿的那条长裙。美是美的,好是好的,只是有小小的毛刺,一路刺着你,戳着你,要么你下手剪了这毛刺,要么你就忍着,忍着忍着就不觉着刺了,忽地一天这刺没了,倒觉出不对劲儿来。爱?年轻的时候果果不懂,亦不太信这个玄之又玄的字眼。等到真正明白的时候,她已经分不太清,爱和他,有什么不一样。真的,在一起,就是无上的缘分。
  • 栾巨庆之谜

    栾巨庆之谜

    中国长期天气预报最准的能人,为什么却被排斥在中国气象界之外?创造“世界领先”成果的老科研工作者,为什么却跪倒在科技处长的脚下?有可能问鼎诺贝尔奖的栾巨庆,为什么却在为鉴定费而奔波?栾巨庆百年之后,科技界还将在黑暗中徘徊多久?“栾巨庆现象”是中国科技界的一个缩影,它暴露了我国科技体制的弊端。
  • 乌合之众:大众心理研究

    乌合之众:大众心理研究

    《乌合之众》120年来研究、剖析社会心理学最为深刻的经典之作,作者极为精致地描述了集体心态,是研究社会心理学必读佳作。
  • 囧穿:家有山贼

    囧穿:家有山贼

    穿越过去做贼婆,偏偏摊上恶少一枚!呃……打劫,说的就是你,以为是贼我就不敢打劫你么?你说得没错,本姑娘专劫山贼!三百六十行,行行出状元,就算是做个贼婆,也是要有理想,有抱负的。
  • 他的眼里有星星

    他的眼里有星星

    方君从未想过自己有天会遇见一个像骄阳的男子,他光芒万丈,耀眼夺目,他是她的小小幸运。28岁的方君遇见22岁的柳边丘,此致所有的相遇都是恰逢其时。论心机美少年如何追到御姐女医生!!!
  • 婚礼之前,与你告别

    婚礼之前,与你告别

    爱到情深意切,会忽略所有语言。我在结婚前三天,从南到北,跨越三千多公里,去找我的前男友。这个像牛皮癣一样的男人在我身体里逗留了5年,又在我心里驻扎1年。分手是因为我的闺蜜,但也不全是因为我闺蜜。总之有点儿复杂。我现在的未婚夫是我在越南旅游艳遇的缉毒警察,我也不清楚他除了缉毒,还有没有捉奸这个爱好。总之我挑战了他的底线,一边是又恨又暖的热恋五年,一边是意乱情迷的艳遇五天……关于爱和被爱、前任和现任、背叛和被背叛、生活和被生活,每一个参与其中的人都有不同领悟和体会,每一本书都不同程度地试图去诠释它们。而这本书没有如此渲染,它给你文字,呈现你爱情原本模样,让不同人领悟和体会。
  • 幸福终身从善待开始

    幸福终身从善待开始

    邸园精舍之钟声,奏诸行无常之响;娑罗双树之花色,表盛者必衰之兆;骄者难久,正如春宵一梦,醒来难忆梦中梦;猛者遂灭,恰似风前之花,风过始知花非花。《幸福终身从善待开始》(作者王晓静)把书本知识与生活经验融为一体,旁征博引,富含哲理。行文语言风格平易近人..
  • 武编

    武编

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 创造性思维36计

    创造性思维36计

    本书采撷大量生动的案例,详实地介绍了36种创造性思维的应用与掌握,集知识性、智慧性与实用性为一体。当然,本书不是万能的,但是它或多或少能活跌你的思维与思考方式。生活中的每一个人,其实都是充满灵感的,我们需要的,只是那种相应的环境,我们需要的,只是那种能够得到锻炼的机会,让自己的才智,一点一滴的被挖掘出来。