登陆注册
5272700000009

第9章 II(1)

The words and events of that evening must have been graven as if with a steel tool on Mr. Razumov's brain since he was able to write his relation with such fullness and precision a good many months afterwards.

The record of the thoughts which assailed him in the street is even more minute and abundant. They seem to have rushed upon him with the greater freedom because his thinking powers were no longer crushed by Haldin's presence--the appalling presence of a great crime and the stunning force of a great fanaticism. On looking through the pages of Mr. Razumov's diary I own that a "rush of thoughts" is not an adequate image.

The more adequate description would be a tumult of thoughts--the faithful reflection of the state of his feelings. The thoughts in themselves were not numerous--they were like the thoughts of most human beings, few and simple--but they cannot be reproduced here in all their exclamatory repetitions which went on in an endless and weary turmoil--for the walk was long.

If to the Western reader they appear shocking, inappropriate, or even improper, it must be remembered that as to the first this may be the effect of my crude statement. For the rest I will only remark here that this is not a story of the West of Europe.

Nations it may be have fashioned their Governments, but the Governments have paid them back in the same coin. It is unthinkable that any young Englishman should find himself in Razumov's situation. This being so it would be a vain enterprise to imagine what he would think. The only safe surmise to make is that he would not think as Mr. Razumov thought at this crisis of his fate. He would not have an hereditary and personal knowledge or the means by which historical autocracy represses ideas, guards its power, and defends its existence. By an act of mental extravagance he might imagine himself arbitrarily thrown into prison, but it would never occur to him unless he were delirious (and perhaps not even then) that he could be beaten with whips as a practical measure either of investigation or of punishment.

This is but a crude and obvious example of the different conditions of Western thought. I don't know that this danger occurred, specially to Mr. Razumov. No doubt it entered unconsciously into the general dread and the general appallingness of this crisis. Razumov, as has been seen, was aware of more subtle ways in which an individual may be undone by the proceedings of a despotic Government. A simple expulsion from the University (the very least that could happen to him), with an impossibility to continue his studies anywhere, was enough to ruin utterly a young man depending entirely upon the development of his natural abilities for his place in the world.

He was a Russian: and for him to be implicated meant simply sinking into the lowest social depths amongst the hopeless and the destitute--the night birds of the city.

The peculiar circumstances of Razumov's parentage, or rather of his lack of parentage, should be taken into the account of his thoughts. And he remembered them too. He had been lately reminded of them in a peculiarly atrocious way by this fatal Haldin. "Because I haven't that, must everything else be taken away from me?" he thought.

He nerved himself for another effort to go on. Along the roadway sledges glided phantom-like and jingling through a fluttering whiteness on the black face of the night. "For it is a crime," he was saying to himself. "A murder is a murder. Though, of course, some sort of liberal institutions. . . ."

A feeling of horrible sickness came over him. "I must be courageous," he exhorted himself mentally. All his strength was suddenly gone as if taken out by a hand. Then by a mighty effort of will it came back because he was afraid of fainting in the street and being picked up by the police with the key of his lodgings in his pocket. They would find Haldin there, and then, indeed, he would be undone.

Strangely enough it was this fear which seems to have kept him up to the end. The passers-by were rare. They came upon him suddenly, looming up black in the snowflakes close by, then vanishing all at once-without footfalls.

It was the quarter of the very poor. Razumov noticed an elderly woman tied up in ragged shawls. Under the street lamp she seemed a beggar off duty. She walked leisurely in the blizzard as though she had no home to hurry to, she hugged under one arm a round loaf of black bread with an air of guarding a priceless booty: and Razumov averting his glance envied her the peace of her mind and the serenity of her fate.

To one reading Mr. Razumov's narrative it is really a wonder how he managed to keep going as he did along one interminable street after another on pavements that were gradually becoming blocked with snow. It was the thought of Haldin locked up in his rooms and the desperate desire to get rid of his presence which drove him forward. No rational determination had any part in his exertions. Thus, when on arriving at the low eating-house he heard that the man of horses, Ziemianitch, was not there, he could only stare stupidly.

The waiter, a wild-haired youth in tarred boots and a pink shirt, exclaimed, uncovering his pale gums in a silly grin, that Ziemianitch had got his skinful early in the afternoon and had gone away with a bottle under each arm to keep it up amongst the horses--he supposed.

The owner of the vile den, a bony short man in a dirty cloth caftan coming down to his heels, stood by, his hands tucked into his belt, and nodded confirmation.

The reek of spirits, the greasy rancid steam of food got Razumov by the throat. He struck a table with his clenched hand and shouted violently--"You lie."

Bleary unwashed faces were turned to his direction. A mild-eyed ragged tramp drinking tea at the next table moved farther away.

同类推荐
  • 程杏轩医案

    程杏轩医案

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 唐诗鉴赏大辞典(上)

    唐诗鉴赏大辞典(上)

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 闻蝉寄贾岛

    闻蝉寄贾岛

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • The Country Doctor

    The Country Doctor

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 大云经祈雨坛法

    大云经祈雨坛法

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 神至之笔的古韵诗词

    神至之笔的古韵诗词

    收录了少年行;采莲曲;戏赠杜甫;劝学;励学;人日立春;苦吟;野望;咏柳;边词;湖口望庐山瀑布水;采桑子;忆秦娥;小重山;苏幕遮;贺新郎;夜游宫;浪淘沙令;苏武令等唐诗宋词。
  • 纤言

    纤言

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 孑楼诗词话

    孑楼诗词话

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 九月荒原

    九月荒原

    真正的诗人都是天生的歌者。诗人李成河无疑就是他生活于其上的那片土地的热情歌手。这位出生于20世纪60年代中期的陕西诗人,有着深深的土地情结和对早年贫苦生活的深刻记忆,这种记忆不仅让他渴望土地,敬畏土地,更终生背负着由土地的贫瘠而起的对人生的悲悯情怀。
  • 唐代碑石与文化研究

    唐代碑石与文化研究

    本书收有35篇研究唐代碑石与文化的文章,有“《张士贵墓志铭》所反映的问题”、“唐代的学士”、“关于西安建都的朝代问题”、“魏征的史论观”等。
  • 中国食俗

    中国食俗

    食俗就是饮食的风俗,又称食风、食规,是指有关食物在筛选、组配、加工、销售与食用过程中所形成的风俗习惯。中国的食俗出现很早,而且涉及社会生活的各个方面,不仅过年过节有食俗、访亲拜友有食俗,纪念历史人物也有食俗,而且,中国地域广阔,是一个多民族的国家,人们信奉各种宗教,自然就形成了宗教信仰食俗。《中国文化知识读本:中国食俗》介绍了除夕饺子、元宵节元宵、立春春饼、端午粽子、中秋月饼、腊八粥、少数民族食俗、地方风情食俗、宗教信仰食俗等中国传统饮食文化。
  • 穿越冷暖遇见你

    穿越冷暖遇见你

    这日,冷心露娇媚无比地坐进男人怀里。一手撩住男人峻冷的轮廓,一手持着一把尖刀,直抵男人心口。“总统大人,你的死期到了。”南宫未寒指尖悠然端着一只酒杯,微微抬手,猛然翻转,酒杯刺穿尖刀,直飞冲天。“想拿我的命,只有冷花凝可以,你,不够格。”冷心露闻言大惊,霍然起身:“你怎么知道我不是她?”南宫未寒:“因为,她身上有我的味道,你没有。”冷花凝:……
  • 求幸福斋随笔

    求幸福斋随笔

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 夜傀人

    夜傀人

    上古魔星作乱,大禹用九鼎布下封天大阵以封印魔星。因天地封禁,灵气匮乏,故求道修仙者维系天道运转,平衡阴阳轮回,以换取天降功德而修行。夜傀人由此显现于世。当有一天,封天大阵破碎,那曾经隐于滚滚时光中的隐秘和存在,亦随之涌现尘世……
  • 铿锵红颜之风行天下

    铿锵红颜之风行天下

    一次意外,他把自己炸飞到了古代,重生为婴儿!他,紫罗国将军府的唯一男孙,被爷爷寄予厚望的孙子。幼小时:八个月能走,一岁吐字清晰,三岁吟诗作画,名声响彻整个越州,百姓云:生儿当如生如风。少年时:貌比潘安,风流倜傥,逃学频频,夜宿花街,争风吃醋,招蜂引蝶…成年时:替爷爷征战沙场,立下赫赫战功…但,很少有人知道,他,原来是个她。注:此文是女扮男装,轻松温馨纯真的专情文,也是我写的第三部小说,写得较为满意,呵呵^_^看完正文大概需要16元,番外和后续都是1元多。********************************************感谢婉如初上为我做的封面,o(∩_∩)o...第二个视频地址:?pstyle=1(是群里的管家点点做的,很精美哦,人物比第一个视频多一点,谢谢点点,辛苦了)********************************************我其他的文《桃花障》完结,半价,看完只需2.14元。《穿越之一代风云女皇》完结,半价,看完只需3.42元。《痴缠》,正文完结。新文《指鹿为姬》连载中……