登陆注册
5298100000169

第169章

"Maude,"I said,"I have not come to plead,to appeal to your pity as against your judgment and reason.I can say this much,that if I do not love you,as the word is generally understood,I have a new respect for you,and a new affection,and I think that these will grow.I have no doubt that there are some fortunate people who achieve the kind of mutual love for which it is human to yearn,whose passion is naturally transmuted into a feeling that may be even finer,but I am inclined to think,even in such a case,that some effort and unselfishness are necessary.At any rate,that has been denied to us,and we can never know it from our own experience.We can only hope that there is such a thing,-yes,and believe in it and work for it.""Work for it,Hugh?"she repeated.

"For others--for our children.I have been thinking about the children a great deal in the last few months especially about Matthew.""You always loved him best,"she said.

"Yes,"I admitted."I don't know why it should be so.And in spite of it,I have neglected him,neglected them,failed to appreciate them all.

I did not deserve them.I have reproached myself,I have suffered for it,not as much as I deserved.I came to realize that the children were a bond between us,that their existence meant something greater than either of us.But at the same time I recognized that I had lost my right over them,that it was you who had proved yourself worthy....It was through the children that I came to think differently,to feel differently toward you.I have come to you to ask your forgiveness.""Oh,Hugh!"she cried.

"Wait,"I said...."I have come to you,through them.I want to say again that I should not be here if I had obtained my desires.Yet there is more to it than that.I think I have reached a stage where I am able to say that I am glad I didn't obtain them.I see now that this coming to you was something I have wanted to do all along,but it was the cowardly thing to do,after I had failed,for it was not as though I had conquered the desires,the desires conquered me.At any rate,I couldn't come to you to encumber you,to be a drag upon you.I felt that I must have something to offer you.I've got a plan,Maude,for my life,for our lives.I don't know whether I can make a success of it,and you are entitled to decline to take the risk.I don't fool myself that it will be all plain sailing,that there won't be difficulties and discouragements.But I'll promise to try.""What is it?"she asked,in a low voice."I--I think I know.""Perhaps you have guessed it.I am willing to try to devote what is left of my life to you and to them.And I need your help.I acknowledge it.

Let us try to make more possible for them the life we have missed.""The life we have missed!"she said.

"Yes.My mistakes,my failures,have brought us to the edge of a precipice.We must prevent,if we can,those mistakes and failures for them.The remedy for unhappy marriages,for all mistaken,selfish and artificial relationships in life is a preventive one.My plan is that we try to educate ourselves together,take advantage of the accruing knowledge that is helping men and women to cope with the problems,to think straight.We can then teach our children to think straight,to avoid the pitfalls into which we have fallen."I paused.Maude did not reply.Her face was turned away from me,towards the red glow of the setting sun above the hills.

"You have been doing this all along,you have had the vision,the true vision,while I lacked it,Maude.I offer to help you.But if you think it is impossible for us to live together,if you believe my feeling toward you is not enough,if you don't think I can do what I propose,or if you have ceased to care for me--"She turned to me with a swift movement,her eyes filled with tears.

"Oh,Hugh,don't say any more.I can't stand it.How little you know,for all your thinking.I love you,I always have loved you.I grew to be ashamed of it,but I'm not any longer.I haven't any pride any more,and I never want to have it again.""You're willing to take me as I am,--to try?"I said.

"Yes,"she answered,"I'm willing to try."She smiled at me."And Ihave more faith than you,Hugh.I think we'll succeed."....

At nine o'clock that night,when we came out through the gates of the big,noisy station,the children were awaiting us.They had changed,they had grown.Biddy kissed me shyly,and stood staring up at me.

"We'll take you out to-morrow and show you how we can ride,"said Moreton.

Matthew smiled.He stood very close to me,with his hand through my arm.

"You're going to stay,father?"he asked.

"I'm going to stay,Matthew,"I answered,"until we all go back to America."....

End

同类推荐
  • 飞空大钵法

    飞空大钵法

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 太极通书

    太极通书

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 石林诗话

    石林诗话

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 南海寄归内法传

    南海寄归内法传

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 麻科活人全书

    麻科活人全书

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 你要培养什么样的孩子

    你要培养什么样的孩子

    你要培养什么样的孩子,首选取决于你是什么样的父母,你的态度和方法是否正确。告别兔一样的平凡,走向鹰一样的非凡!本书帮助天下的父母树立正确的教子观念,教会父母科学的教子方法。应用这些理念和方法,相信每位父母都能成为子女教育的专家。一句话,你想培养什么样的孩子,只要努力,你就可以达到你的愿望。
  • 银狐

    银狐

    内蒙古科尔沁的茫茫草原和沙地上,古代辽国王族的地下寝宫里,栖息着以银狐为首领的狐族群。作为荒漠精灵和图腾象征,银狐的美丽和魅力、神奇和灵性、痛苦和欢欣,融入草原的博大和神秘、原始萨满教的慈悲和神圣、历史的丰富和深厚,映衬人类寻找迷失的自我和精神家园的挣扎和希望,氤氲着作家呼唤、寻找大自然守护神的悲天悯人的情怀……一幕幕富于奇幻色彩的画面,一个个呼之欲出的形象,成就了人与狐族相濡与沫的瑰丽雄浑、粗犷纯朴的旷世传奇,堪称草原文化的震撼之作。
  • 武印之尊

    武印之尊

    太云大陆,武道兴盛,世家门派,正魔相争。一场消失已久的争斗再次席卷而来,笼罩了整个大陆。在这场混乱当中,出生于一个小村庄的顾凡,要如何才能够生存下来。在面对着重重危机,他要如何走上这武道的巅峰,看看争斗背后究竟是什么人在作祟。可当他揭开了谜团之后,等待着他的还有更大的危机,武印现世,纷争再起,何人能够问鼎成尊!
  • 桃之夭夭,腹黑王爷赖上门

    桃之夭夭,腹黑王爷赖上门

    【爱情,无关早晚,只是在对的时间,遇见对的人】他是燕国不朽神话,是全国名媛争相想嫁的如意郎君,面对女人,他嗤之以鼻。她,一朝惨死,得以重生,茫茫人海,遇见了那个风吹桃花开的人。于他而言,女人是善变寡情的标志,却在遇见她后,念念不忘。幻想中,君心不改,桃花相伴,而现实,总是有那么几个不长眼睛的,惦记自己的娘子。于她而言,男人背信忘义,为了荣华富贵,弃情绝爱,伤天害理。当他们相遇,一张情网,铺天而来,躲过,逃过,却忘不掉那一声声温柔的呵护,“不怕,一切有我。”京城初见,他设计巧遇,夺初吻,夜护佳人,上演攻心为上。“姑娘何必拒人千里之外,说不定,你我能上演一出旷世奇恋呢。”是夜,他‘慌不择路,’闯入香闺,而她,美人出浴。他咽着口水,两眼放光,“肤如凝脂人如玉。”下一秒,某男被人丢出闺阁,惨遭群殴……
  • 大乘金刚髻珠菩萨修行分一卷

    大乘金刚髻珠菩萨修行分一卷

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 天使的印记

    天使的印记

    故事发生天族,在天使族,巫族,精灵族新一代的王子公主之间,展开了一段生离死别的爱恨情仇。而伴随着他们之间的爱恨情仇逐渐浮出水面的还有那一段段不为人知即将被冰封的往事~当往事浮出水面,现在的人儿又将何去何从?是忍痛舍爱,还是要生死不相离!
  • 雪球专刊第013期:玩转余额宝

    雪球专刊第013期:玩转余额宝

    余额宝本质上是货币基金的一个销售渠道,而支付宝是有基金销售牌照的,所以它做余额宝是合法的,没有任何违法的地方,但它的宣传中存在不合规的地方,即一开始的时候,没有按法律规定说明基金有风险(虽然我认为货币基金的风险提醒其实并没有意义)。
  • 武出法随

    武出法随

    侠以武犯禁!泱泱武国,岂容宵小。杀大侠,斩大圣。“普天之下,莫非朕土。率土之滨,莫非朕臣。”三步杀一人,手停心不停。
  • 鬼手狂医

    鬼手狂医

    拥有鬼手称号的外科实习医黄子平,因违规做了一台手术被医院开除,却又莫名其妙被请回来。从此,他感觉背后有一只无形的巨手,在推着自己前进,并且试图控制自己。于是,他展开了激烈的反抗,直到他发现,那双无形的巨手原来是……
  • 篁君日记·雨后·长夏(沈从文小说全集)

    篁君日记·雨后·长夏(沈从文小说全集)

    该卷本收录短篇小说集《篁君日记》《雨后及其他》《山鬼》《长夏》《不死日记》《呆官日记》《男子须知》《十四夜及其他》。该集子小说发表于1928年9月至1929年3月,这一时期是作者创作力爆发时期,各类人物塑造和环境描写都能看出作家的笔触趋于成熟。